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    A Taxing Conversation

    | Norwich, England, UK | Money, Top

    (My colleague is the customer in this transaction. He has received a letter from HM Revenue (British tax authority).)

    Colleague: “Hello, I am ringing about the letter I received stating the amount due to you is £1,400!”

    Tax assistant: “Well, I can help you with that. What seems to be the issue?”

    Colleague: *angry at this point* “The issue is that I have just received a letter telling me that I have to pay you £1400!”

    Tax assistant: *still being very polite* “Well, sir. Please calm down, let me say something.”

    Colleague: “Say something? What can you say that’s going to resolve this problem?”

    Tax assistant: “How about, the check is in the post and you don’t owe us a penny?”

    Colleague: “Oh.”

    Tax assistant: “I thought that might help a little. If you had read the letter clearly you would have seen that it says ‘Amount due to you is £1,400.’”

    Colleague: “Oh… erm… I’m really sorry for being a jerk.”

    (I have never laughed so hard in my life.)

    Would Make A Great Book One Day

    | Moncton, NB, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a cashier in a book store during the holiday season. It’s just me and one other cashier working the registers as it’s a slow afternoon. One woman walks up and asks to do a return on a book. As my coworker is authorized for returns, she goes ahead and takes over.)

    Coworker: “Alright Ma’am, I just need the receipt and the book you’re returning.”

    (The customer places a bag on the counter and hands the receipt to my co-worker. The coworker scans the receipt and start the return transaction.)

    Coworker: “And what would be the reason you’re returning this book?”

    (As she’s asking the question, she’s pulling the book out of the bag to inspect it before furthering the transaction. Upon seeing the book, she finds it is in fact extremely damaged. Before the customer can respond to the first question, my coworker speaks on the company’s policies.)

    Coworker: “…I’m sorry Ma’am, but we can’t take this book back, as it’s not in resellable condition.”

    Customer: “You have to take it back! You’ve got the receipt and you’ve got the book. Now do my return and give me my money!”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry Ma’am, but it’s company policy that we can not take any merchandise back that is not in re-sellable condition, unless it is found to be defective.”

    Customer: “Well then, that book is defective! Look at it—the cover is mangled and the pages are stuck together!”

    (Clearly this book has been mishandled before it was brought to be returned.)

    Coworker: “Again, Ma’am, we can not take this book because we can not put it back on the shelves.”

    Customer: “Get me your manager!”

    (My coworker complies with this and pages our manager up to cash. The manager arrives and my co-worker explains what is going on. My manager then reiterates what my coworker told the customer.)

    Customer: “No! You have to take it back. You have the receipt and you have the book! Now give me my money!”

    Manager: “Miss, as we’ve already said, we can not do that as this book is not in resellable condition.”

    Coworker: “Fine! If you won’t take it back, then I’ll make you take it!”

    (The customer then proceeds to rip the book from my coworker’s hands and tears it into pieces. She then proceeds to take the chunks from the book and throw them at my manager. The customer then storms out of the store.)

    Me: “Well… that was sure interesting.”

    A Tale Of Faulty Thieves

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Top

    (A family, wife, husband and teenage daughter, bring items to my till, and I start to scan them.)

    Father: “We’re not done yet!”

    Me: “Oh…”

    (They leave their items at my counter and continue to look around. Any time they see something they want, they bring it to my counter and then leave again. It is not busy, so I just scan and bag the items as they drop them off. They finally come with the last item, totaling their bill to over $200.)

    Father: “Is everything done?”

    Me: “Well, it’s not paid for.”

    Father: “I know that! Is it all scanned!?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Father: *to his wife and daughter* “Okay, you guys can take this stuff out to the car then.”

    Me: “Oh, actually, you have to pay first before you leave the store with the items.”

    Father: “EXCUSE ME!?”

    Me: “You can’t leave the store with unpaid merchandise.”

    Father: “You calling me a thief!?”

    Me: “No, I’m just telling you that you have to pay first.”

    Father: “I don’t have to pay before I take your items! I’m a customer!” *to his daughter* “Take the stuff to the car!”

    Me: “Please don’t.”

    (The daughter is now confused and throws her arms up in the air in frustration.)

    Father: “Don’t you tell my daughter what to do!”

    Me: “Um, she can’t leave the store without unpaid merchandise.”

    Father: “You think my card is going to decline!?”

    Me: “I don’t know, but you still have to pay first.”

    (The father rams his card into the machine and stomps his fingers on the keypad. It declines.)

    Me: “It didn’t go through.”

    Father: “This is ridiculous!” *he rams his card up the machine again*

    Me: “You have to wait until the machine is ready.”

    (He rips his card out of the machine and then rams it up the machine again, and hits the buttons extremely hard. It approves and he starts to storm off without his receipt. Then he comes storming back and rips the receipt out of my hand and points to me.)

    Father: “YOU WERE CALLING ME A THIEF!”

    Me: “No, I wasn’t. No one lets customers leave a store with unpaid merchandise!”

    Father: “I am a paying customer! You should be fired for accusing me of stealing! This is the worst customer service I have ever had!” *storms off again*

    It’s Not Easy Being Green

    , | Australia | Awesome Customers, Top

    (I’m taking orders and cashing cars at a well known fast food chain drive-thru. I’m having a really bad day. It’s the holidays, and in general all of the customers are being really rude and indecisive, while I’m still trying to be polite and smile. An old man has just placed his order and is approaching my window. I’m a female with green eyes.)

    Me: *giving the best smile I can manage* “Hi, sir! How are you today?”

    Old man: “Oh, my goodness! You’re just as beautiful as your voice sounds!”

    Me: *blushes* “Th-Thank you, sir.”

    (I finish cashing him and I hand out his change.)

    Old man: “And your eyes are so green! They’re beautiful! Have a lovely afternoon Sweetheart!”

    Me: “You too, sir! Thank you!”

    (The nice old man drives off. He made my day! It’s people like him that give me faith in humanity.)

    Throwing Trash Is Pay Dirt

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Bad Behavior

    (I work in a customer service call center for a health plan that is also a cooperative; it’s the kind where it’s both your insurance and your doctors. On this particular call, a woman is upset because one of her claims was denied, after the referral she’d requested for the service had also been denied.)

    Customer: “I don’t understand why my claims are denying.”

    Me: “Ma’am, did you receive the referral letter we sent you that said that this service was denied?”

    Customer: “Well, yes, but it seemed like there was a mistake, so I just threw it out!”

    Me: “You threw it out?! Ma’am do you understand that that denial letter is a legal document that states we are in no way going to cover these services? Why didn’t you call us if you thought it was mistake?”

    Customer: “Well I figured if it was a mistake, you guys would just find it and then I could go have this done and it would be covered!”

    Me: “Do you realize that we process thousands of referrals to authorize a day? How are we supposed to know that what you requested is wrong, if you don’t tell us?”

    Customer: “Don’t put this on me! You denied the referral! It was a mistake! I don’t have to pay! You have to pay!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s not our fault you threw it away and did nothing about it. We are not going to pay for these services.”

    Customer: “You are going to pay! You should have known I would throw it in the trash! You will pay! You will pay!” *click*

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