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Shatter-Resistant, Not Idiot-Resistant

| ME, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

Customer #1: “Hey, these bowls say shatter-resistant… that means that don’t break, right?”

Me: “Well, it doesn’t mean they don’t break. ‘Shatter-resistant’ just means they’re much harder to break.”

Customer #1: “Huh… that’s really neat.”

(Customer #1 and #2 seem fascinated by shatter-resistant bowls, and thus begin to experiment. They begin to tap the bowls, nicking the bowls with their finger. One even starts to lightly bang it on the shelf. Then Customer #1 nods to Customer #2, and then SUMO SLAMS the bowl at full force into the ground, shattering the bowl to pieces.)

Customer #1: “Wha… why did the bowl break?”

Me: “As I said, the bowls were shatter-resistant not shatter-proof.”

Customer #2: “But they broke!” *to Customer #1* “That’s false advertisement.”

Customer #1: “Yeah! That’s false advertisement! I want my money back.”

Me: “Um, you didn’t buy anything, though.”

Customer #1: “So! That’s false advertisement! I demand my money back or to talk to your manager.”

(I decide at this point that I doubt these customers will even listen to me, so I call down my manager.)

Manager: “Hello there. How may I help you today?”

Customer #1: “These bowls say they are shatter-resistant, but they still broke when I dropped it on the ground! That means it’s false advertisement.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but shatter resistant means it’s harder to break. It does not mean it’s shatter proof.”

Customer #1: “Well, I want my money back for this worthless product.”

Manager: “Well, we can do that if you have your receipt.”

Customer #1: “Oh, I didn’t buy any of them yet.”

Customer #2: “But it’s false advertisement. She deserves her money back.”

Manager: “Ma’am, I cannot refund you your money if you didn’t buy anything.”

Customer #1: “But it’s false advertisement! I want my money back.”

Manager: “Again, I can’t refund you your money if you didn’t buy anything…”

(These two customers went back and forth with my manager for at least a half hour. My manager had security escort them out because they began to break more bowls to prove their point!)

An Accidental Hero

| WI, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I work at a grocery store. I see two teenage boys come in and grab a few things.)

Teenager #1: *slightly dazed * “Hey… can I ask you a question?

Me: “Um… sure?”

Teenager #1: “Do we look bad?”

Me: “Bad? How do you mean bad?”

Teenager #1: “Like, you know, accident-bad?”

Me: “Well, I did notice you two are a bit scuffed up.”

Teenager #1: “We flipped our four wheeler when some guy tried to run us off the road.”

Me: “Oh my gosh! Are you both alright?”

Teenager #1: “We think so. All we want to do is just get our stuff for tonight and head back home.”

(Just then, the other teenager promptly keels over. I call my manager and we get an ambulance to store. The EMTs check out both and report that they are both good and that the second one only passed out from the shock that settled in. Once the EMT gets the other teen to come around I used my house account to get them some water and a snack bar to help settle them. I then offer to take them home since I lived near by once they told the EMT where they lived. At first they didn’t want to because the first teen didn’t want to leave his four wheeler, but my manager says that it can be put in the back of my truck; and they seemed to be alright with that. About a week later, I get called to the service desk by the same manager.)

Me: “Yes?”

Manager: *smiles some* “You have two people who want to see you.”

(I look and it’s the two teenagers from that night and they hand me a carnation, a lottery ticket, and thank me for what I did!)

Won’t Listen Until You’re Code Blue In The Face

| KS, USA | Health & Body

(We’ve been extremely busy in the small ER where I work. We’re completely full with people in the waiting room when an ambulance brings in a Code Blue—someone not breathing. The x-ray tech and I are standing in the nurse’s station awaiting instructions, when a patient’s relative comes up.)

Relative: “What’s going on? Why hasn’t the doctor come in to see my son? We’ve been waiting over an hour!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, we have a Code Blue critical patient in and the doctor is busy.”

Relative: “Too busy to check on his patients? This is ridiculous! We haven’t even seen a nurse in 20 d*** minutes!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, like I said, everyone’s busy with the Code Blue and nobody is free at the moment.”

Relative: “This unacceptable! My son is in pain back there, and you don’t give a s***!”

(At this point, the nursing supervisor and the relative of a different patient walks up.)

Supervisor: “Ma’am? Can I help you?”

Relative: “My son is back there in pain and these two aren’t doing a thing about it! Just standing around! And the doctor hasn’t even been in to see him!”

Supervisor: “Well, ma’am, as these young ladies have told you multiple times, we have Code Blue that needs our attention right now.”

Relative: “What the f*** does that even mean?”

Another Patient’s Relative: “It means that someone is DYING, you idiot. Your son’s headache can wait a few minutes!”

(The first relative looked absolutely ashamed of herself and quickly retreated. The other patient’s relative later went on to buy some candy for all our staff as a thank you for working so hard.)

Mumbling Mary

Chatty, Rude Customers

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