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A Couple Of Annoying Squirts

| USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

(Our shop is pretty quiet at the moment. The only customer in it is a twenty-something woman, eating her meal and reading a book. Two boys, about fifteen and thirteen, come in carrying what appears to be badly painted water pistols.)

Older Boy: Yo, b****! This is a stick up!

Younger Boy: “Yeah, give us all your money! Empty the register.”

(At this point, the woman looks up. She gets a very angry look on her face.)

Me: “Those aren’t real guns.”

Older Boy: “F***, yeah, they are! Hurry up!”

(The woman walks over to them and taps the older boy on the shoulder.)

Older Boy: *turns around* “What the?”

(He freezes and stutters for words. The woman smacks the other boy’s head with her book.)

Woman: “What the h*** do you two think you’re doing? Are those squirt guns?”

(Both boys look shocked. The older one is beet red and the younger one is actually crying.)

Woman: “Go to the corner, right this instant! I’m calling your mother.”

(Both boys go to sit in the corner of the restaurant.)

Woman: “Ah! Apologize to this nice lady first!”

Both Boys: “S…s…sorry!”

Woman: “Now go stand in that corner and face the wall!”

(Both boys obey and stand against the wall. The woman then turns back to me.)

Woman: “I’m sorry, I really am.”

(The woman proceeds to call their mother, who shows up five minutes later and hauls both boys out. Apparently, the woman is their aunt. She left us two twenty dollar bills in our tip jar!)

An Honor To Serve

| Concord, NH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I’m ringing up an older man who is buying a few things, bringing his total to about $12.)

Customer #1: “That doesn’t seem right. I thought the fish food was cheaper.”

(Before I can say anything, he rushes off to that aisle, leaving Customer #2, a young serviceman, waiting.)

Customer #2: “I’ve got this.”

(Surprisingly, Customer #2 pulls out his credit card and proceeds to pay for the whole order. As the receipt comes out, the first customer returns.)

Customer #1: “It was the right price, sorry.”

Customer #2: *hands him his receipt* “You’re all set.”

(The first customer takes in what has happened and tries to hand the young serviceman the money he would’ve paid with.)

Customer #1: “Here, you deserve it!”

Customer #2: “I don’t deserve anything, sir. Have a good night.”

(Customer #1 walks out, thanking Customer #2. Customer #2 pays for his item and also leaves. That has never happened in my line before. Bless you young serviceman; you make this job great!)

Hair Abhorrent

| Invercargill, New Zealand | Bizarre

(I’m with my sister, shopping in the produce section of the supermarket, when a male customer approaches me. Note: I’m female with long hair.)

Male Customer: “You! Your hair’s too long!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Male Customer: “If you bought some scissors, I’d cut it for you.”

Me: “I… ah… No thank you.”

Male Customer: “Fine!”

(He then storms off towards the back of the store.)

My Sister: “What the f*** just happened?!”

Herd Behavior

| Denver, CO, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Top

(My mom and I are flying home to California after staying with friends in Colorado. We have had to get up extremely early, and I have had a stressful week after dealing with a new friend. I should also mention I am a brony, meaning I like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I am wearing a T-Shirt my best friend got me that says Ponyvengers with five ponies dressed up as the Avengers. We are stopping off to get some juice before we get on the plane home.)

Me: “Hi! I’ll have [fruit drink].”

Mom: “And I’ll have… a small [another drink].”

Cashier: “You got it. Your total is [total].”

(After my mom pays, the cashier walks backwards as he goes to make our drinks. My mom isn’t looking up. He motions to his chest and mouths ‘I love your shirt’. I give him a huge grin and thumbs up.)

Mom: *to me* “Oh! I forgot to get water! Can you go get me some?

Me: “Sure.”

(She hands me some money. I grab two water bottles and put them on the counter, in front of the same cashier.)

Cashier: *smiling widely* “It’s on the house.”

Me: “Oh, wow! Thank you!”

(As my mom and I are walking away with our drinks.)

Mom: “He didn’t let you pay for the drinks?”

Me: “Nope!”

Mom: “Why?”

Me: “Because he’s a fellow brony. It’s an automatic bond between us, even though we’ll probably never see each other again. Bronies care about each other, and since we had already paid for our drinks, he didn’t want to make us pay for anything else.”

Mom: *confused* “Oh… seems odd to me.”

Me: “That’s because you’re not part of the herd.”

Dislike Father, Like Son

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Bigotry, Language & Words, Top

(My father is having an issue with his prepaid cell phone that I haven’t been able to fix. I tell him to call the service provider. I am making dinner when I hear yelling in the other room, so I go running in.)

Operator: *with strong Indian accent* “Sir, can you please confirm your father’s middle name?”

Father: “What? What did you say? Speak English for the love of f***ing God!”

(Note: I have a head cold and am nearly deaf from the pressure in my ears, yet I understand the operator just fine.)

Operator: “I need you to confirm your security question, sir. Please, what is your father’s middle name?”

Father: “I don’t know what you’re saying! Why can’t you just fix my phone?”

Me: “Dad, give me the phone.”

(I proceed to spend 45 minutes on the phone with the operator trying to figure out what my lunatic father has done to his account. It turns out that he registered the account with his name and my mother’s information. The operator finally managed to fix everything and was just about to end the call.)

Father: “I want his name, address, and phone number before you hang up!”

Me: “Um… why?”

Father: “I’m going to complain about him. D*** foreigner needs to speak English! I can’t understand a thing he’s saying.”

Me: “Seriously? He just spent nearly an hour fixing the account you screwed up and you want to complain? What is wrong with you?” *to the operator on the phone* “Thank you for your help. I’ll handle my father from here…”

(Operator, wherever you are from, thank you for putting up with jacka**es like my dad. Not all of us are belligerent and bigoted.)

Related:
Dislike Father, Dislike Son
Like Son, Like Father
Like Father, Like Son

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