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Taking Nothing From The Experience

| Detroit, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

(A customer calls with a very simple request, but because her tablet is out of warranty, so I have to charge her for service.)

Me: “Ma’am, the credit card servers have gone down, so I’m still happy to assist you, no charge. Go ahead and click the button on the side of your device and your problem should be solved.”

Caller: *after clicking the button* “It’s fixed! That was easy. Would you be able to reverse the charge?”

Me: “I was unable to complete the transaction, so there will be no charge.”

Caller: “That’s great, honey, but could you reverse the charges?”

Me: “Ma’am, I never charged you. Your credit card will not be charged.”

Caller: “Sweetheart, I don’t think you understand: I’m not asking you if you charged me, I’m asking you to please reverse the charges.”

Me: “So you want me to give you back the money that I didn’t take from you?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “Sure thing! Have a great day!”

Caller: “Thanks, darling! You too!”

Mistaken Shaken Medication

| LA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I am counseling a customer who is receiving a prescription for her child’s strep throat. As she’s signing for the prescription, I give her directions on the medication.)

Me: “It needs to be shaken well.”

(All of a sudden, she starts shaking the electronic pen that is attached to the signature pad. After a moment she stops.)

Customer: “You meant shake the medicine, didn’t you?”

It Isn’t The View That Is Spoiled

| Ventura, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work as a hostess in a very popular family restaurant. We have a playground on the patio as well as one of the best locations in town with a view over looking the ocean. Today we have a party of 100 fundraising for a youth football team, so there are a lot of kids.)

Customer: “Two, for outside please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, the patio is reserved for a party.”

(The customer is sat by the window with a lovely view of the ocean.)

Customer: “Excuse me? But you wouldn’t let us sit outside! And now those ugly kids are playing in my view! Make them move!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but they are part of the large party and I can’t ask them to leave.”

Customer: “Are you serious?”

Me: “Ma’am, I really don’t like kids either, but this is a family restaurant and family means kids.”

Customer: “I’m never coming here again!”

Clear This Customer From Memory

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I am a cashier at a grocery store. When a customer is making a purchase over $25 with a credit card, it is required that they sign for the transaction.)

Me: “Okay, now the PIN pad is just requesting your signature to finish the transaction.”

Customer: *after signing* “Should I hit enter or clear?”

A Wally With The Wallets

| LA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I’m a customer in line at the checkout counter, the third in line behind another customer whose items have already been scanned. This store has a rewards card, meaning you get a discount by using it and if not you pay full price. The woman doesn’t have the card with her.)

Customer: “I am not about to spend full price when you know I have a card with you! Look it up in the computer.”

Cashier: “Ma’am, I can’t. The cards are free and aren’t name-assigned.”

Customer: “LOOK. IT. UP.”

(For about five minutes this is the exchange, with the woman clearly convinced their system is more advanced than it really is.)

Cashier: “Ma’am, please… there’s a line behind you. I have to wait on these people but I’ll be glad to call the manager over and let him talk to you.”

Customer: “Well, fine… take the man right here and then we’ll continue talking.”

(Much to our relief, the manager finally arrives.)

Manager: “So, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I don’t have my card with me and this dumb b**** of a cashier won’t look me up in the system.”

Manager: “You didn’t fill out any paperwork or give a name or email address when you got that card, did you?”

Customer: “No.”

Manager: “Then how are we supposed to look it up in the system? There’s no information attached to your card.”

Customer: “Well, I shouldn’t be expected to carry my wallet everywhere I go just to wave these stupid cards around! ”

Manager:” Ma’am… isn’t that your wallet in your hand?”

Customer: “Yes, but this is my wallet that holds my money and my credit cards! I don’t carry all that other s*** in this one!”

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