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    Acting An Oaf About The Loaf

    | Wales, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (It has snowed quite severely in our area so today. We are short on staff and no deliveries have been able to reach us.)

    Customer: “You’ve run out of bread.”

    Me: “Yes, I’m terribly sorry; there is no fresh bread. All I can do is recommend some of our pre-mixed bread flour. You just add water and bake.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you’ve run out of bread. I came here especially.”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, I appreciate that, but our delivery lorry got stuck. I am sorry, but there’s very little I can do to assist you.”

    Customer: “But you’re [supermarket]! You should never run out of bread.”

    Me: “Ma’am, like I said, the roads are impassable. Our lorry couldn’t get here. I normally work at another store, but I couldn’t drive there today, so I am helping out here. Do you mind if I ask whether you walked or drove in?”

    Customer: “Well, I walked of course. Have you seen the roads? It would be like driving on pure white death out there.”

    Me: “Exactly.”

    (I give her time to process this information, bearing in mind what I have said about the delivery drivers.)

    Customer: *walks off, muttering* “…can’t believe [supermarket] has no bread!”

    The English Only Tip Their Hats

    | London, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m visiting my long distance boyfriend in London. We decide to stop for lunch during our walk through the streets of London. I’m from Canada.)

    Worker: “So, your total is [total].”

    (I hand him a little more than he asked for.)

    Me: “Keep the change.”

    (He looks confused for a moment and tries to give me back the money.)

    Me: “No, no, keep the change. It’s money for you.”

    Worker: “What…?”

    My Boyfriend: *to me* “In London, no one ever uses the term, ‘keep the change.’ It’s unheard of for people working behind the counters to get tips.”

    Me: “Oh, geez… I had no idea.” *to the worker* “I’m actually from Canada. Over there, we use the term ‘keep the change’ when we don’t really need the change back. It’s considered giving a tip. I honestly had no idea that you guys here didn’t do that. Still, it’s just a little bit of money and I don’t need it that badly. Go ahead and pocket it. It’s for you!”

    Worker: *huge smile* “Thank you for explaining!”

    (He kept the change. It seemed like such a minor cultural difference, but I think we both learned something that day!)

    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 3

    | CO, USA | Liars & Scammers

    (I am working at the guest service desk at a big box store. It is customary when a box is returned that we open the box and check that all the content are inside.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I help you with today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’d like to return this vacuum. It doesn’t work very well. I have my receipt.”

    Me: “Okay, let me see what I can do for you…”

    (I take the opened box and as I’m trained to do, look inside. Instead of the vacuum picture on the size, there is a different vacuum inside. In fact, this vacuum is a different size and brand, and is very much used.)

    Me: “Ma’am, it seems that you have placed the wrong vacuum inside this box. It looks like you are trying to return your old, used vacuum and keep the new one.”

    Customer: *picks up box and runs out of the store*

    Related:
    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 2

    Government Is Going To Cone For You

    | TX, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A customer in her mid-50s comes into the shop and begins looking around at all the varieties of ice cream.)

    Me: “Hi, do you know what you’d like?”

    Customer: “I sure do! I need some butter pecan in a waffle cone.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we don’t have any waffle cones at this moment. Our waffle cone machine broke and we had to send it back to get another. We have cake and sugar cones, though.”

    Customer: “No, a ‘waaaaa-ffle’ cone. Waffle. Right here!” *points to sugar cones*

    Me: “Oh, a sugar cone! Sure thing, coming right up!”

    Customer: “No! Not a sugar cone! Waffle! Why won’t you give me what I want?! It’s the government, I tell you! They’re playing these evil mind tricks! I won’t fall for it, though! I won’t! I want a waffle cone!”

    Me: *grabs sugar cone* “Yes, ma’am.”

    (My coworker returns from her break, only having heard the last bit from the customer saying she wanted a waffle cone.)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t have any waffle cones right now.”

    Customer: “Not you, too! It’s a conspiracy, I tell you! A conspiracy!” *storms out*

    Coworker: “Well, that escalated quickly.”

    Thankful For Thank Yous

    | New York, USA | Awesome Customers, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Hi, can you please fill it up with regular?”

    Employee: “Sure, no prob—Wait!”

    Me: “Is there a problem with my card? Can I use my debit card instead?”

    Employee: “No, no! The card’s fine! You’re the nice customer!”

    Me: “…I’m sorry. I don’t know what you’re referring to.”

    Employee: “You were filling up your gas tank earlier this month. It was my first week of training and I was trying to figure out the machines because I used to work at a station where we brought credit cards inside to be processed. This crazy lady started screaming at me because she got charged for premium gas and she didn’t want it. Then your credit card didn’t work because I forgot to hit some buttons or something. While she spent 10 minutes screaming at me, you waited there patiently without screaming at me or trying to get my attention. It was only after she left that I realized your car hadn’t been filled yet. You didn’t say anything mean; you just smiled and told me not to worry about it.”

    Me: “Oh yeah… I remember that lady. Boy, wasn’t she a bundle of joy to be around? Has she been back since?”

    Employee: “Maybe? Well, I told my coworker Eddie about you and he said you’re the only customer who consistently is polite and says “Please” and “Thank you” and you’re the only who treats us as equal human beings! Thank you for that!”

    Me: “Wow… well, you’re welcome. Just try to avoid crazy customers! Stay warm!”

    Employee: “Seriously, thank you! You have no idea how nice it is!”

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