(I am going grocery shopping, and have also bought a new wok. I am in line, and the young man in front of me has a lot of groceries, including pots and pans, cleaning supplies, a dustpan and brush, and also another wok. The cashier doesn’t start ringing him through.)

Cashier: “Setting up home for the first time?”

Guy: “Uh, yeah, I just moved out.”

Cashier: “Couldn’t your mum help with this?”

Guy: “Uh, my mum’s… I live with my dad.”

Cashier: “Oh. I guess he wasn’t much use to you. Put all that back in your trolley.”

Guy: “What? Why?”

Cashier: “Look, the guy behind you has got a wok too. His cost him £10; yours will cost you £23.” *starts shouting to coworkers* “Can someone come and take over this till please!?”

Guy: “Uh…”

Cashier: “Come with me; I’m taking you shopping!”

(The cashier proceeds to take the guy around the store, putting back what he’d got and getting cheaper/longer lasting alternatives!)

(My mother and I are taking my four- and three-year-old cousins to get some dinner.)

Mother: “Okay, what do we want to eat for dinner? You can have chicken or hamburgers.”

Four-Year-Old Cousin: “Burger.”

Me: *to the three-year-old cousin* “What about you? Chicken or Burger? What do you want to eat?”

Three-Year-Old Cousin: *long pause, then in a low whisper* “People…”

(I’m lazing around in my room, watching anime on my computer, when I hear my brother holler at me.)

Brother: “Want some tea and chocolate?”

Me: *thinking he’s offering to spoil me* “That’d be lovely.”

Brother: “Great, fetch me some while you’re in the kitchen.”

(I own a small cookie bakery on a busy main street on Cape Cod. A customer and his wife have purchased a cookie and some coffee and sat outside to enjoy it. I am having a conversation with my son, when the customer walks back in after they’ve finished.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Just a little constructive criticism.”

Me: “Okay. Sure!”

Customer: “The cookie we had was too salty.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. Which cookie did you purchase?”

Customer: “The lace cookie.”

Me: “You mean the one topped with sea salt?”

Customer: “I’m not sure why it tasted so salty!”

My Son: “But it’s… it’s topped with sea salt.”

Customer: “You know, you REALLY need to be careful about stuff like that when there are people like us who are watching our salt intake!”

Me: “Well then, sir, I’m not certain you made the best decision. Out of our 14 or so varieties, you chose to purchase a salted cookie.”

Customer: “But it was—” *reads description* “—OH! I see. Um, okay, have a great day!”

Tourists & Travelers Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

1. Canada: America’s Hat, Part 7 (1,245 thumbs up)
2. Yukon Freeze It, Part 3 (1,115 thumbs up)
3. No Vocation For Location, Part 7 (1,029 thumbs up)
4. Having A Light Bulb Moment, Part 3 (843 thumbs up)
5. Dumb By Any Metric, Part 2 (1,150 thumbs up)
6. Ye Olde Fool (1,498 thumbs up)
7. Waiting For That Light Bulb Moment That Never Comes (1,174 thumbs up)
8. No ID, No Idea, Part 12 (1,000 thumbs up)
9. A Large Intelligence Gulf (Of Mexico) (1,170 thumbs up)
10. Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 3 (802 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!