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    License To Bill

    | Wisconsin Dells, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

    (I work in the arcade at luxurious resort. Resort guests can use their room key to get a game card to play the arcade games.)

    Customer: “Hi, can I get three cards with $50 on each for my family? And here’s my room key; charge it to the room!”

    Me: “Sure, I’ll get that for you right away!”

    (I give them the cards and the family walks away excited, when five minutes later…)

    Customer: “What the h*** is this!? This d*** card isn’t working; I didn’t pay all this money for a card that doesn’t work!”

    (She rants for a few more minutes and then throws the card at my face. I pick it up to show it to her.)

    Me: “Ma’am, this is your driver’s license, not the game card.”

    Customer: *turns really red, takes the card, and walks away sheepishly*

    Offer Of A Lift Is Uplifting

    | The Netherlands | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

    (It has been a very snowy day, and the pavements are dangerously slippery. I’m rounding up payment for a regular, but rather old and fragile customer, who has trouble walking.)

    Customer: “Well, I hope it’s not too bad outside.”

    Me: “You’re walking?”

    Customer: “Yes, my children are out of town, and I do need my shopping done.”

    Me: “My shift ends in about ten minutes, and I’m by car. If you want to wait for a bit, I can bring you home.”

    (My boss overhears this.)

    Boss: “Round up your shift; it’s quiet enough. You can go and bring her home immediately.”

    (I take the customer home. One week later, the customer comes in with a home-made apple pie.)

    Customer: “You went to the trouble of bringing me home, so I baked you this. Hope you enjoy it!”

    (And we did!)

    There’s Snow Milk At The Back

    | Clifton, NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

    (It is the day after a snowstorm which had dropped a significant amount of snow on the ground and the store is jumping with people. Even though I’m not feeling well and am in the middle of an eight hour shift on the registers, I manage to be courteous with the customers. A customer proceeds to cut in line and demands.)

    Customer: “Where the f*** is the milk?”

    Me: “It’s usually in the cases at the back of the store, but we are out of milk right now.”

    Customer: “What the h*** kind of store is this that you don’t have milk?”

    Me: “Sir, the delivery didn’t come yet.”

    Customer: “Why the f*** not?”

    (Before I can respond to this, the female customer I have been ringing up answers.)

    Female Customer: “Look out the window. See all that white stuff? It’s called snow. The Governor called a state of emergency. The roads have been slippery and some have even been closed. That’s why they don’t have any milk. Maybe you should go out to a farm and get your milk there and stop swearing at this poor girl.”

    (The rude customer proceeds to leave, swearing the whole time.)

    Me: “Thank you, ma’am. You said exactly what I was thinking but couldn’t say or I’d lose my job.”

    Female Customer: “Don’t mention it. He really needs an attitude adjustment. By the way, you sound sick…”

    Me: “Oh, it’s just a cold. I’ve been using this bottle of hand sanitizer between orders.”

    Female Customer: “Okay, feel better!”

    (She takes her change and purchases, and leaves. However, she returns a few minutes later with a cup of tea from the Chinese restaurant next door!)

    Jungle Time

    2009-09-06

    Not Low Key About The Hokey

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre, Religion

    (I’m a Muslim female barista. Two young women in headscarves come in. They get in line. Most people are surprised to learn of my faith, as I am mixed race and look white, and don’t wear a headscarf by personal choice.. A man whispers to his wife, and then comes up to me while I’m handing out drinks to customers.)

    Man: “Excuse me, could you please remove those two from the shop?”

    Me: “Who?”

    Man: “Those two in the scarves.”

    Me: “Uh, why?”

    Man: “They’re offending me.”

    Me: “How?”

    Man: *raising voice* “How dare they throw their satanic religion in our good Christian faces?!”

    (He is wearing a rather large cross around his neck.)

    Man: *raises his voice to a yell* “Be gone from his earth, devil spawn!”

    Me: “Dude, look, quit harassing them.”

    Man: “Harassing them?! They’re harassing me!”

    (Fed up, I come out from behind the counter to speak to the man.)

    Me: “Look, dude, be quiet or leave now.”

    Man: “Why should I, son of the great lord, be forced to tolerate their hokey religion?!”

    Me: “That’s my ‘hokey religion’ you’re messing with, and I’m not going to take your crap. Out. Now.

    Man: “You’re devil spawn too?!” *crosses himself* “SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF GOD, THROW DOWN YOUR COFFEE! A SINNER HAS TOUCHED IT!”

    (The shop is literally silent, and everyone is staring at him. My manager walks up behind him. He is Sikh, and is wearing a turban. He taps the man on the shoulder and speaks in a deadpan voice.)

    Manager: *deadpans, taps man on the shoulder* “Now what seems to be the problem here?”

    (As soon as he sees my manager, the customer literally screams and runs out. His wife runs after him, stopping at the door to cross herself. I go back behind the counter. The two Muslim women approach me.)

    Muslim Woman #1: “Thanks for that.”

    Me: “Absolutely no problem. I’ve had that done to me too, when I’m wearing the scarf.”

    Muslim Woman #2: “Do you get lunatics in here like that often?”

    Me: “You have no idea.”

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