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It’s Not Spanish, But Just Roll With It

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I am working the self-scanning machines.)

Customer: “I bought two of these Chavra, but it won’t take my coupon. I’m supposed to get 75 cents off of two Chavra, but the self-scan won’t take it.”

(Chavra is a small container of spreadable cheese. When I look at the customers order on the screen, Chavra isn’t listed.)

Me: “You said you got two Chavra?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s correct. See, it’s right over here.” *points to two packages of Charmin toilet paper* “I got two Charmin. ‘Chavra’ in Spanish means Charmin.”

Me: “Ma’am, this coupon is for cheese.”

(The customer takes a long look at the coupon, and then laughs.)

Customer: “I guess my Spanish isn’t what it used to be.”

Not Dropping The Charges

| Montreal, QC, Canada | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

(A customer comes in to return a totally shattered phone.)

Customer: “It’s really cold outside and I was using it and pop!”

Me: “This looks like it was dropped.”

Customer: “I didn’t drop it; it just cracked!”

Me: “That’s not possible.”

Customer: “I want to see your manager.”

Me: “That won’t be necessary.”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “That won’t be necessary. Just like me, he is not going to want his intelligence questioned by someone who claims he just saw the laws of physics being broken, at the hands of an irresponsible user.”

Customer: “…fine. I might have dropped it on the ice.”

Me: “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

Thinks Her Son Has A Halo

| Long Island, NY, USA | Family & Kids

(An older woman comes into my store. Her son is looking for a particular game: ‘Halo 4′.)

Customer: “What’s in this game? Is there anything bad in it?”

Me: “It revolves around a futuristic space marine who has to fight aliens. It has a rating for blood and violence, but it isn’t showcased nearly as much as other popular titles.”

Customer:What? I will never let my son play this! It will teach him how to kill people and hurt others!”

Me: “Well, I guess you can say that I’m a professional race car driver, and I’ve scored more home runs than anybody in the history of baseball.”

Customer: “What? What does this have to do with teaching my kids how to shoot guns?”

Me: “Well, I’ve played the latest NASCAR and Major League Baseball games. If what you’re saying is right, well then I should be capable of doing both.”

Customer: “Well… you’re… I…”

Me: *smiling* “Ma’am, your total is $65.16.”

(She ended up buying the game!)

It Must Be Free!

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Dressing Room Disaster

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