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    In Uniform, Out Of Work

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I walk into a store without realizing I am wearing khakis and a red polo; they are the store’s uniform colors. A middle aged lady stops me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, can you tell me where to find the lamps?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry ma’am. I don’t work here.”

    Customer: “Don’t you lie to me! You are still wearing your uniform! Obviously you work here!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but this just happens to be what I wore today.”

    Customer: “HOW DARE YOU! I can’t believe you would treat a customer like this.”

    (A manager walks up, focused on the yelling customer.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I demand you fire this employee! He is refusing to help me!”

    (The manager turns to talk to me. I see the surprise on his face, due to the fact that I am not one of his employees.)

    Manager: “Is it true that you refused to help this woman?”

    Me: “Yeah, I suppose…”

    Manager: “Alright then, you’re fired.”

    Me: “D*** man! Really?”

    Manager: “Yes.”

    (He turns back to the lady.)

    Manager: “The lamps are over there, ma’am. I will personally take care of this troublemaker.”

    (As the lady smugly walks off, he turns back to me.)

    Manager: “Sorry about that. You don’t actually work here do you?”

    Me: “Nope. You just fired me.”

    (We share a laugh, and he takes me to the attached coffee house to buy me a drink.)

    I Should Be So Ducky

    | IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [fast food place]! How can I help you?”

    Elderly Customer: “Yes. I’ll have a small hamburger, a small fry, and a small coffee, for here, please.”

    Me: “Certainly. Would you like cream and sugar with your coffee?”

    Elderly Customer: “Of course. Two cream, and two sugar, please.”

    Me: “Your total is $[total].”

    (The Elderly Customer hands me more than enough to cover the meal.)

    Elderly Customer: “Keep the change.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re not allowed to take tips.”

    Elderly Customer: “Really? What’s this world coming to! Customers should be allowed to tip for good service.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry about that, sir. Here’s your food. Is there anything else that you would like?”

    Elderly Customer: “No, thanks.”†

    (He takes his food off to the lobby. A short while later, he’s back at my register.)

    Me: “Did you need a refill on your coffee, sir?”

    Elderly Customer: “Yes, please.”

    (I refill his coffee. When I return with his cup, he takes it, smiles at me, and leaves the store. Sitting on the counter where he was standing, is a small balloon duck. The duck has a note.)

    Note: “This isn’t a tip; he’s a gift. I hope that he brings a smile to your face.”

    (Not So) Clever Customers

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    Fed Up With Customers

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    Dressing Room Disaster

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