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One Sandwich, Hold The Plural

, | Right | September 18, 2013

(I am working at a very popular fast food place. I am very sick, and have tried to call in, but as we were short-handed, I am asked to come and just work the lunch rush. Since the lunch rush is over, my manager tells me to help the last two customers, who appear to be construction workers, and then I can go home. I smile brightly despite feeling like crap.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “I want [sandwiches]!”

(I am confused, as he pluralizes the word and doesn’t specify the number of sandwiches.)

Me: “Sure, how many would you like?”

Customer: *glaring* “I… want… ONE… [sandwich]. Do you understand? ONE… [sandwich].”

Me: “Sure, sorry for the misunderstanding. It’s just usually when someone pluralizes a word, that means they want more than one. Would you like the meal, or just the sandwich?”

Customer: “I said ONE [sandwich]! I don’t want the d*** meal!”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Would you like anything else?”

Customer: “Yeah, give me a small fry and an orange juice.”

Me: “Sir, it would actually be cheaper for you to just get the meal, which comes with a medium fry, and then you could still get orange juice as the drink.”

Customer: “I said I don’t want the meal! Are you stupid?”

Me: “No, sir, just trying to save you money. But that’s fine. Your total is [total].”

(His total is a couple of dollars more than how much the meal would have been.)

Customer: “Wait. How much would the meal be?”

Me: “Just one moment, and I’ll total that up for you.”

(I press a few buttons, canceling out his order, and replace it with the meal with an orange juice.)

Me: “Your total doing it that way is [new total].”

Customer: “Huh. I guess it is cheaper. I’ll do that instead.”

(The customer pays, and I help the next customer in line, who is apparently one of his coworkers. This one is much nicer than the other one, and even says please and thank you. I get off work and go to change out of my work clothes so I can walk home. On my way out of the bathroom, I’m stopped by the two men.)

Customer: “Listen, I’m really sorry for how I treated you. There was no excuse for that. I’ve just had a really bad day.”

Me: “It’s okay, sir, really.”

Customer: “This is for you.”

(He hands me an apple pie, which he had apparently gotten after I had gone into the bathroom to change.)

Customer: “Your manager tells me that you are sick today, and still came in. I never would have guessed you weren’t feeling well. Your customer service is really extraordinary, and I told him so.”

Me: “Thank you so much, sir. I hope you have a much better day from here on out, both of you!”

(They wish me a good day also, and tell me they hope I feel better soon. Somehow, after that, I DO actually feel better!)

Hear-Resistible

| Right | September 18, 2013

(Both of my earlobes are stretched to half an inch.)

Young Girl: *in a loud kid’s whisper* “Mommy, her ears are broken!”

Mother: *mortified* “I am SO sorry!”

Me: *laughing* “No, no, it’s fine! That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day!”

Talking About His Light Saber

| Romantic | September 17, 2013

(My boyfriend and I are out shopping, and I am unable to find anything I want because of my small size. I am getting rather frustrated. We go into one more store and separate. When again I find nothing, I meet up with my boyfriend at a graphic t shirt display. He is talking to an employee.)

Boyfriend: “Could you check in the back and see if you have any more in large of this Star Wars shirt?”

Employee: “Sorry, everything we have is out on the floor. If it’s not on the shelf, then we don’t have it.”

Boyfriend: “D***! I got all excited and was let down!”

Me: “Now you know how I feel all the time!”

(The employee could hardly keep in his laughter.)

Boyfriend: “Don’t encourage her. She’s horrible enough as it is!”

(The perverted side of this doesn’t even occur to me until my boyfriend tells me how the employee had took it. Whoops…)

Pray No One Is Listening

| Related | September 17, 2013

(I am three years old. Every Sunday, since I was old enough to not cry through mass, my family attends church. There is one part of the mass where the priest invites everyone to join him in prayer, then he recites the prayer while the congregation silently joins.)

Priest: “Let us pray.”

Me: *loudly enough that everyone can hear* “He says let us pray, but what he really means is listen to him!”

That Is Not The Droid You Are Looking For

| Related | September 17, 2013

(I am playing a game of Trivial Pursuit with my cousins. I am about to read out a question from the entertainment category for my eldest cousin, who is 17. I am known for loving sci-fi shows and movies, whilst she thinks they are boring.)

Me: “Name the robot who paired with C3PO in the movie Star Wars.”

Cousin: “Umm…”

Me: “C’mon! You know this one; I’ve told you this about a million times!”

Cousin: “Uh… oh! Spork!”

Me: “Spork? Who the h*** is Spork!?”

(My cousin does the Vulcan hand sign from ‘Star Trek.’)

Me: “That’s Spock! AND THAT’S NOT EVEN THE RIGHT MOVIE!”

Cousin: “Close enough!”


This story is part of our ‘Star Trek’ roundup!

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