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    Flip Flop Flop

    | NM, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a department store selling shoes. I’m all alone in my department one night. A rather bedraggled looking customer comes in, grabs a display sandal, and slams them on my counter.)

    Customer: “I want to buy these.”

    Me: “Okay. What size do you need?”

    Customer: “Whatever. Just pick one.”

    (I look down at his feet to estimate his size, and notice he is barefoot. I go back into the stock room and grab a pair of the sandals he wants. When I get back out to the counter, security is standing there waiting.)

    Me: “Okay, sir. I grabbed you a nine. Do you want to try them on?”

    Customer: “No. Just ring them up.”

    Me: “Okay. That’ll be $107.80.”

    (The customer rummages through his wallet for several minutes, and finally hands me $4.)

    Me: “Thank you, sir. Now we just need $103.80.”

    Customer: “I handed it to you, sweetie.”

    Me: “You only handed me $4. That’s not enough for these shoes.”

    Customer: “Oh, gosh, sweetie. I’m sorry. Here.”

    (The customer hands me another stack of dollar bills, which I count. He’s still about $70 short.)

    Me: “Okay. That’ll be another $70.”

    Customer: “I already gave it to you!”

    (I count out the total bills he handed me, and show him my screen showing the total. I grab a calculator and work out the difference for him.)


    Security: “You didn’t pay her enough, sir.”

    Customer: “Screw this place!”

    (The customer takes his money back and storms out the door.)

    Me: *to security* “Well, that was interesting.”

    Security: “I told him he couldn’t be in here without shoes, so he said he’d go buy some. Glad to see that worked out for him.”

    Drowning Hamster Requires Mouse To Mouse

    | LA, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (The small rodents are stored in aquariums with screen tops. A customer comes in and looks over the hamster tank.)

    Me: “Is there anything I can help you with today, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yeah, what kinda fish dis be here?”

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a fish. That is a hamster.”

    Customer: “What kinda fish is a hamster? Is it one of the ocean things?”

    Me: “Ma’am, hamsters are rodents. They are not any species of fish.”

    Customer: “Where’s its water?”

    Me: “In the bottle hanging on the side, right there.”

    Customer: “You mean dat poor thing can’t even get in the water? What kind of place be keepin’ fish dat ain’t even in water? I ain’t spendin’ my money here. That’s cruelty. Shame on you!”

    (The customer storms out of the store indignantly. I’m still confused.)



    Bizarre Behavior Themed Giveaway Roundup

    Not Always Right | Bizarre, Roundups

    Bizarre Behavior Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

    1. Was Not Performed In Chest (1,138 thumbs up)
    2. This Store Takes Credit (1,0673 thumbs up)
    3. A Sudden Stamp Of Recognition (1,737 thumbs up)
    4. Doesn’t Give Two Hoots About Listening (2,203 thumbs up)
    5. A Streetcar Named Cheshire (1,604 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    No Escape From Stupid Moments, Part 2

    | Halifax, NS, Canada | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a three-level retail store, on the bottom floor. Access to the connected mall is only on the second and third floors. It’s a pretty big place, and sometimes customers get confused as to where to go or how to leave. One day a customer comes running up to my cash, pushing next to a customer I’m ringing in.)

    Customer: “Come on. I want to leave!”

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “I want to go! I want to leave!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Did you need help with something?”

    Customer: “I want to go. I’m in a hurry! I want to get out!”

    (The customer is near screaming now, and she looks ready to snap.)

    Me: “You want to leave the store?”

    Customer: “Yes! How do I get out? I want to leave right now. I’m in a hurry!”

    (I point at the two sets of large glass doors no more than twenty feet away, with the sun shining through them.)

    Me: “Uh. The exit’s just right there, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Where?!”

    Me: “Right down there, ma’am. At the end of the aisle.”

    (The customer runs down the aisle, looking as if someone is about to grab her and chain her to a fixture, and bursts out of the doors.)

    Me: “…I guess when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.”

    No Escape From Stupid Moments

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