November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

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The History Of Photography Doesn’t Quite Click

| PA, USA | Family & Kids, History, School

(I have a paid internship at a small, obscure history museum and battlefield. This site is so unknown that most locals don’t even know what war was fought here. A visitor comes in with her bored-looking teenage daughter.)

Visitor: “Hi! My daughter’s history teacher gave her an assignment to come to a local historical site, and we thought we’d come here!”

Me: “Great! It’ll be $5 a piece.”

Visitor: “So, this is a Civil War battlefield, right?”

Me: “Actually this battlefield was a part of Pontiac’s Rebellion, a Native American uprising that occurred in 1763, after the French and Indian War. If you follow me, I’ll take you back to our 13-minute video about the battle, and Pontiac’s Rebellion. It’s a great synopsis of the history surrounding the museum.”

Visitor: “Wonderful!”

(Our theater area is located at the very back of the exhibit, in an area that has blown-up photos of our annual battle re-enactments. I turn the video on.)

Me: “I will be happy to answer any questions at the end of the video.”

(At the end of the video, the visitor starts pointing at the re-enactment photos on the walls.)

Visitor: “So, these photos are from the actual battle?”

(The visitor’s daughter starts laughing.)

Me: “These are actually from our annual battle re-enactment held every summer.”

Visitor: “Where are the photos from the battle?”

Me: “Photography would not be invented for about another 80 years or so. Actually the first American war with any photographs was the American Civil War.”

Visitor: “Oh. When was the Civil War?”

Me: “1861-1865.”

Visitor: “When was this [battlefield’s] war?”

Me: “1763.”

Visitor: “So, what war was this?”

Me: “The French and Indian War.”

Visitor: “So, how long was this war before the Civil War?”

Me: *facepalm*

Should Keep Better Account Of His Account, Part 2

| OH, USA | Money, Top

(I am a bank teller. A senior citizen is asking to withdraw a large sum of money from his account.)

Me: “Okay, I’ll just need to see a picture ID because of the amount you are withdrawing.”

Customer: “Oh, my God, why?! I come in here all the time!”

Me: “I apologize, sir. I’ll definitely make a note of this for next time. Since I do not know you, I will need to see an ID. It’s to protect me, as well as yourself.”

Customer: “Are you f****** kidding me?! Why?! This is ridiculous! I totally come in here all the time!”

Me: “Well, sir, in the event that someone comes in here and acts like they are you, would you want us to go ahead and take out the money and not ask for ID?”

Customer: “Oh, my God! This is ridiculous! No one is going to do that. Give me my money now! I am not taking out my ID! You know who I am.”

(A line has built up behind him. The customer next in line chimes in.)

Other Customer: “Oh, my God! Quit being so ridiculous! If you really don’t care, I’ll go ahead and take money out of your account right now. I mean, what does it matter? You don’t care about your account security, so you’ll be okay with just anyone taking money out, right?”

(The customer rolls his eyes.)

Customer: “Whatever. No one will really do that. I’m totally going to my other bank. This is ridiculous!”

(He steps off to the side, and the next customer comes up.)

Other Customer: “Hello, I’d like to withdraw $1,000 from that ridiculous gentleman’s account, please! Oh, my God, like, totally give me all twenties!”

Should Keep Better Account Of His Account

Another Reason To Hate The News

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Canada, Money, Movies & TV

(I work in a major sandwich franchise in Canada.)

Me: “Hi there, welcome to [store]. What can I get started for you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, you guys have the chicken sandwich for $5 dollars this month, right?”

Me: “No, sir, that promotion is actually only available in the US at the moment.”

Customer: “What? What are you talking about? Since when has there ever been a difference?”

Me: “Well, promotions and prices have always been different between the two countries. I think that’s how it’s always been for large franchises.”

Customer: “I still want the promoted price I saw on the commercial.”

Me: “Is it possible that you were watching an American channel when you saw this commercial sir?”

Customer: “Of course not! I only watch Canadian television! What do I look like to you, some kind of Yankee?”

Me: “What channel were you watching, sir?”

Customer: “Fox News.”

Me: “That’s an American channel sir.”

Customer: “Oh… well…”

(He ended up ordering the sandwich he wanted, and he paid the marked-up price for it.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17

| Reston, VA, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Technology

Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like to get a refund for an item I purchased from your online store.”

Me: “Sure, I can help with that. Just let me see the item so I can pull it up in our system.”

Customer: “Well, the item hasn’t arrived yet. It’s still being delivered.”

Me: “Oh, we won’t be able to issue a refund unless you actually give us something to refund. When the item arrives, bring it back here and we can give you your money back, no problem!”

Customer: “I can’t believe you won’t give me a freaking refund! This is unacceptable! I bought the item, and you d*** well better give me my money back!”

Me: “Sir, I understand that you’d like to get your money refunded. Without giving us your item back, it’s like we’re just giving it to you. We can’t give you the money today, only to have you return here a few days later to give us the item back!”

Customer: “Well, why would I need to return here? I would have already gotten my money back by then!”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

Adopting An Apologetic Attitude

| Boise, ID, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

Me: “Thank you for calling [clinic], this is [my name]. How can I help you this evening?”

Caller: “Hi, I just needed to speak with a nurse about my son; he’s been coughing really badly this week.”

Me: “Sure thing!”

(I get her son’s details, and pull up her son’s account in the computer.)

Me: “Alright, I will have the nurse give you a call back in the next 20 minutes. Is this the best number to reach you back at?”

(I read her the primary number on the account.)

Caller: “That is his biological parents’ phone number, but I’ve adopted him and have primary custody. Can you call me back at [this number] tonight?”

Me: “Of course! Alright the nurse will call you shortly.”

Caller: “Actually, can you remove that number and put mine as the primary contact number, please?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I cannot do that for you this evening. I do not have access to any of the legal paperwork you would have on file, and I would be uncomfortable changing the information on the account at this time. But I will have the nurse call your number tonight. You can call back in the morning during regular office hours and speak with my supervisor to get that done.”

(The caller immediately flies into a rage.)

Caller: “I can’t believe this! I should be the primary contact for the child that I have full custody of! This is absurd! Why can’t you just replace the d*** number?”

Me: “I’m very sorry. It has to do with the privacy laws surrounding your protected personal and health information, as well as the legalities of custody agreements. I wish there was more I could do, but I am just a receptionist. I have very limited access to your records, and have no way to verify who you are. But for tonight I can definitely have the nurse call you at your own number about your son.”

Caller: “Whatever. Fine.”

(The caller hangs up, but calls back again about five minutes later.)

Caller: “Hey this is [name] again. I’m really sorry about being so short with you earlier. I realized that you were just protecting yourself, as well as my son and his information. You guys do a great job, and we really like coming to your clinic. So, I apologize. I’m just very stressed out with my son being so sick.”

Me: “Wow, thank you for your apology! But I totally understand where you are coming from.”

Caller: “It’s just been a rough few days. But thank you for your help, and being so kind while I yelled at you. Keep up the good work!”