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    Archive for 2013

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    Instrumental In The Decision

    | New York, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (A lot of the people around my area haven’t been coming to our local store, due to the competition of a well-known chain store having been built about two years earlier. A young teen customer comes into the store. The only other people here are the owner, and a customer who has been a regular for quite some time.)

    Me: “Hello! How may I help you today?”

    (The teen customer is obviously quite shy, perhaps shopping alone for the first time.)

    Teen Customer: “Uh… I was looking for a specific model? It’s a Squier, if I remember…”

    (Before I can ask the teen customer which model he wants, the regular scoffs.)

    Regular Customer: “Really, kid? You broke or something? Can you not afford a real instrument? How sad that these kids can only get the cheap stuff.”

    (The teen customer obviously takes this to heart. He frowns and turns to leave the store. Before he leaves, the owner of the shop places his hand on his shoulder. He then glares at the regular.)

    Owner: “Wow, really, [Regular Customer]? That’s how you’re going to treat one of my customers? Listen, I know you’ve been coming here for over 20 years now, but the day I let you speak to anyone who steps into this store the way you just did, is the day hell freezes over! So what if he wants one of the cheaper models? We’ve all got to start somewhere; let the kid choose what he wants! Being a regular does not make you king of my store!”

    Regular Customer: “What are you going to do about it, kick me out? Like you’d ever do that!”

    (Without even a moment of hesitation, my boss walks over to the regular and escorts him out. The teen customer looks over at me, his jaw drops.)

    Teen Customer: “Did that really just happen?”

    Me: “I have no idea, little dude.”

    (About a minute later, the owner strolls back in casually, and smiles at the teen customer.)

    Owner: “Now, what can I get for ya’, kiddo?”

    (The teen customer’s face lights up as he excitedly informs us of the exact model he wants. He tells us that he has saved up all the money that he’s gotten for doing chores around the house for over a year, just to buy the guitar. My boss throws in some strings and picks for the kid too! I love this job, and my boss!)

    The History Of Photography Doesn’t Quite Click

    | PA, USA | Family & Kids, History, School

    (I have a paid internship at a small, obscure history museum and battlefield. This site is so unknown that most locals don’t even know what war was fought here. A visitor comes in with her bored-looking teenage daughter.)

    Visitor: “Hi! My daughter’s history teacher gave her an assignment to come to a local historical site, and we thought we’d come here!”

    Me: “Great! It’ll be $5 a piece.”

    Visitor: “So, this is a Civil War battlefield, right?”

    Me: “Actually this battlefield was a part of Pontiac’s Rebellion, a Native American uprising that occurred in 1763, after the French and Indian War. If you follow me, I’ll take you back to our 13-minute video about the battle, and Pontiac’s Rebellion. It’s a great synopsis of the history surrounding the museum.”

    Visitor: “Wonderful!”

    (Our theater area is located at the very back of the exhibit, in an area that has blown-up photos of our annual battle re-enactments. I turn the video on.)

    Me: “I will be happy to answer any questions at the end of the video.”

    (At the end of the video, the visitor starts pointing at the re-enactment photos on the walls.)

    Visitor: “So, these photos are from the actual battle?”

    (The visitor’s daughter starts laughing.)

    Me: “These are actually from our annual battle re-enactment held every summer.”

    Visitor: “Where are the photos from the battle?”

    Me: “Photography would not be invented for about another 80 years or so. Actually the first American war with any photographs was the American Civil War.”

    Visitor: “Oh. When was the Civil War?”

    Me: “1861-1865.”

    Visitor: “When was this [battlefield's] war?”

    Me: “1763.”

    Visitor: “So, what war was this?”

    Me: “The French and Indian War.”

    Visitor: “So, how long was this war before the Civil War?”

    Me: *facepalm*

    Should Keep Better Account Of His Account, Part 2

    | OH, USA | Money, Top

    (I am a bank teller. A senior citizen is asking to withdraw a large sum of money from his account.)

    Me: “Okay, I’ll just need to see a picture ID because of the amount you are withdrawing.”

    Customer: “Oh, my God, why?! I come in here all the time!”

    Me: “I apologize, sir. I’ll definitely make a note of this for next time. Since I do not know you, I will need to see an ID. It’s to protect me, as well as yourself.”

    Customer: “Are you f****** kidding me?! Why?! This is ridiculous! I totally come in here all the time!”

    Me: “Well, sir, in the event that someone comes in here and acts like they are you, would you want us to go ahead and take out the money and not ask for ID?”

    Customer: “Oh, my God! This is ridiculous! No one is going to do that. Give me my money now! I am not taking out my ID! You know who I am.”

    (A line has built up behind him. The customer next in line chimes in.)

    Other Customer: “Oh, my God! Quit being so ridiculous! If you really don’t care, I’ll go ahead and take money out of your account right now. I mean, what does it matter? You don’t care about your account security, so you’ll be okay with just anyone taking money out, right?”

    (The customer rolls his eyes.)

    Customer: “Whatever. No one will really do that. I’m totally going to my other bank. This is ridiculous!”

    (He steps off to the side, and the next customer comes up.)

    Other Customer: “Hello, I’d like to withdraw $1,000 from that ridiculous gentleman’s account, please! Oh, my God, like, totally give me all twenties!”

    Related:
    Should Keep Better Account Of His Account

    Another Reason To Hate The News

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Canada, Money, Movies & TV

    (I work in a major sandwich franchise in Canada.)

    Me: “Hi there, welcome to [store]. What can I get started for you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, you guys have the chicken sandwich for $5 dollars this month, right?”

    Me: “No, sir, that promotion is actually only available in the US at the moment.”

    Customer: “What? What are you talking about? Since when has there ever been a difference?”

    Me: “Well, promotions and prices have always been different between the two countries. I think that’s how it’s always been for large franchises.”

    Customer: “I still want the promoted price I saw on the commercial.”

    Me: “Is it possible that you were watching an American channel when you saw this commercial sir?”

    Customer: “Of course not! I only watch Canadian television! What do I look like to you, some kind of Yankee?”

    Me: “What channel were you watching, sir?”

    Customer: “Fox News.”

    Me: “That’s an American channel sir.”

    Customer: “Oh… well…”

    (He ended up ordering the sandwich he wanted, and he paid the marked-up price for it.)

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17

    | Reston, VA, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Technology

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like to get a refund for an item I purchased from your online store.”

    Me: “Sure, I can help with that. Just let me see the item so I can pull it up in our system.”

    Customer: “Well, the item hasn’t arrived yet. It’s still being delivered.”

    Me: “Oh, we won’t be able to issue a refund unless you actually give us something to refund. When the item arrives, bring it back here and we can give you your money back, no problem!”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you won’t give me a freaking refund! This is unacceptable! I bought the item, and you d*** well better give me my money back!”

    Me: “Sir, I understand that you’d like to get your money refunded. Without giving us your item back, it’s like we’re just giving it to you. We can’t give you the money today, only to have you return here a few days later to give us the item back!”

    Customer: “Well, why would I need to return here? I would have already gotten my money back by then!”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12


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