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    Archive for 2013

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    Turned The Problem Right Around

    | IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Good morning, thank you for calling [tech support]. How may I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, the mouse that came with my computer is defective; it is not working right.”

    Me: “I am sorry to hear that; how exactly is the mouse defective?”

    Customer: “When I move the mouse right, the pointer goes left. When I move the mouse left, the pointer goes right.”

    Me: “Okay, when you look down at the mouse, there is one cable sticking out of the mouse, right?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Is that cable facing toward you or away from you?”

    Customer: “The cable in the mouse is facing toward me.”

    Me: “Let’s try this; please turn the mouse around so that the cable is facing away from you.”

    Customer: “It’s working now!”

    Fabricate An Excuse Not To

    | Lansdale, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (A customer comes into the fabric store where I work. She is holding a scrap of plain black fabric, about the size of a postage stamp.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; I need help. I purchased a few yards of this fabric the other day, and I need more of it.”

    Me: “Okay, do you have your receipt?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Do you have the serial number?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Uh, do you know what the fabric was called? Or where you found it?”

    Customer: “Nope.”

    Me: “So, you want me to look through every black fabric in the entire store until I find one that looks similar?”

    Customer: “Could you?”

    Not A Nice Person


    A Good Attitude About A Bad Attitude

    | WI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (Our refund policy has a shorter timeframe than most people assume, and they usually don’t read their receipts. A customer walks in carrying a bag with one of our games; she’s on her cell phone.)

    Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I just want to return this. I do not need to be spending $30 on a game right now.”

    (She continues her phone conversation.)

    Me: “Do you have your receipt with you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, it’s in the bag, honey.”

    Me: “Okay, let me just check it.”

    (I see that she’s a couple of days past the refund window.)

    Me: “All right, I can get you a store credit for this.”

    Customer: “What? You mean I can’t get my money back?”

    Me: “It says right here, ‘Last day for refund is [date]’.”

    (She is a little bit shocked, and continues talking on her cell phone.)

    Customer: “They say I can’t return it… I can only get a store credit! I just drove all this way for nothing!”

    (I prepare for her to start yelling at me.)

    Customer: “Oh, I can’t believe this. I need to go. Just put it back in the bag. I need to take my bad attitude out of here!”

    Me: “Um, sorry about that.”

    Customer: “Oh, it’s okay; it’s not you, honey!”

    (She grabs the bag and leaves quickly, still on her cell phone. I turn to my coworker.)

    Me: “I can’t believe she didn’t yell at me! She just recognized that she was upset and left. This has never happened before!”

    Foreign Insult


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