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    Her Behavior Is Out Of Order

    | USA | Food & Drink

    (We take all our orders verbally, sometimes faster than we can actually make the sandwiches. Most people just continue down the line after ordering, but some people insist on watching their sandwich get put into the oven. This can cause confusion for them when they don’t realize that we’re taking their order before we’re done with the sandwich before theirs.)

    Customer: “I’ll have a large turkey.”

    Coworker: “White or wheat bread?”

    Customer: “White bread.”

    (At this point, my coworker finishes the sandwich before hers and places it in the oven. It happens to be a small turkey on wheat.)

    Customer: “Oh, my God. How hard can it possibly be?! I asked for a large turkey, and that’s not even white bread! Are you even listening?!”

    Coworker: “I certainly am, ma’am. You wanted a large turkey on white bread. The customer before you happened to want a small turkey on wheat bread. That sandwich is his.”

    (I hold up the large turkey on white bread.)

    Coworker: “This sandwich is yours. I am now putting your sandwich into the oven, after the customer before you.”

    (The customer happened to be accompanied by her daughter, who actually burst into laughter. The woman said nothing through the rest of the line.)

    Going From Negative To Positive

    | Cambridge, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Money, Technology

    (A few minutes after opening the doors of the store, a well-groomed older customer enters. He is carrying a remote-controlled car.)

    Older Customer: “I want my money back right now! This car doesn’t work; I’ve tried everything. Give me a refund so I can leave this h*** hole.”

    Me: “Not a problem at all, sir. Let me take a quick look at it to determine the problem. Do you have your receipt?”

    Older Customer: “Who keeps receipts anymore these days? Just give me my money so I can get out of here. I already told you, I tried everything to make this d*** car work. I’m an engineer and you’re just a cashier. I would know better than you!”

    Me: “I understand, sir. It’s company policy that all defective items are inspected in front of the customer before a refund or exchange can take place. Furthermore, I can not complete the refund without your receipt.”

    Older Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous! I’m an engineer! I told you it doesn’t work, so it doesn’t f****** work!”

    (While he is ranting, I open the back plate and put in some batteries. The car works perfectly.)

    Older Customer: “How the h*** did you do that?!”

    Me: “I put in brand new batteries, sir. I don’t mean to insult you, but you did put batteries in the car itself, right?”

    Older Customer: “Well, that was rude! And yes, I did put batteries in the car.”

    Me: “And… did you put batteries in the remote as well?”

    Older Customer: “I’ve had about enough of you insulting my intelligence! I’ve been on this planet for 78 God-d*** years; I know how batteries work!”

    Me: “Okay, my apologies. Well, it appears that everything here is working as it should, so there is no need to refund or exchange the unit. If you have any further issues, you’re welcome to exchange it within 30 days with the receipt. By the way, you can keep the batteries for your troubles.”

    Older Customer: “Well, I should say so! You’re d*** lucky I’m not one of those rude customers that demands refunds over something ridiculous.”

    Me: “I’m glad I could resolve the issue for you. Have yourself a nice day.”

    (Several hours later, I get a phone call from a sweet-sounding old man.)

    Older Customer: “Good afternoon, are you the young lady that helped me with the remote control car earlier today?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, how can I help you?”

    Older Customer: “Well, I just wanted to apologize for my outburst in your store today. I understand you were just trying to do your job.”

    Me: “Thank you, sir. I accept your apology.”

    (In the background I hear a woman’s voice; she sounds irritated.)

    Woman: “Keep going, Ron.”

    Older Customer: “Again, I’m very sorry.”

    Woman:Say it! You tell her what you did!”

    Older Customer: “I don’t want to, and you can’t make me!”

    (There’s a loud noise, and some inaudible conversation between the two. Then the woman gets on the phone.)

    Woman: “Hi dear. He wants you to know that he’s thankful for the batteries you gave him, and that the car didn’t work the first time because he put the batteries in backwards.”

    Me: “Well, thank you for the kind phone call and the honesty. You two have a lovely day.”

    (She putters with the phone, trying to find the off button. I hear the old man in the background.)

    Older Customer: “At least you didn’t tell her I wasn’t an engineer.”

    Going From Positive To Negative

    Customers Wanted


    Weekly Roundup: Tech Support Classics, Part 4

    | Not Always Right | Roundups, Theme Of The Month

    Weekly Roundup: Tech Support Classics, Part 4. This week, we feature part four in our ongoing series of Tech Support-themed roundups. Also checkout Parts 1, 2, and 3!

    1. Time To Call A Plumber (4,857 thumbs up)
    2. Four Words: Bow, Chicka, Bow and Bow (6,992 thumbs up)
    3. Needs To Chill Out (1,822 thumbs up)
    4. Save It On A Flesh Drive (1,938 thumbs up)
    5. PEBCAK, Episode VI (1,653 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Urine My Way

    | BC, Canada | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I am a female cleaning the men’s washroom at a movie theatre. I have a large ‘closed for cleaning’ sign posted on the door. A male customer enters.)

    Me: “Hi, sorry, I’m just cleaning at the moment—”

    Customer: “That’s okay.”

    Me: “I’ve opened the wheelchair accessible washroom across the hall. You can—”

    Customer: “No, no, it’s fine.”

    (He goes to a urinal and begins to unzip his fly. Admitting defeat, I begin to leave.)

    Customer: “Please, I don’t want to put you out. You can go ahead and clean.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m not going to stay in here while you’re using the urinal.”

    Customer: “Why? I really don’t mind.”

    Me: “I do.”

    Customer: “Why?”

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