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    Short-Change Con Falls Short Of Change

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money, Top

    (I’m working the register. A customer comes to the register with three ice creams.)

    Me: “So, is this it for you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, sir.”

    Me: “Alright your total is $12.75.”

    (The customer hands me a $20 bill. I hand him his change.)

    Customer: “Where’s the rest of my change?”

    Me: “I gave you your change already, sir.”

    Customer: “No, you didn’t! I gave you a $100 bill. You’re shorting me $80!”

    Me: “Sir, I can assure you that you paid with a $20 bill.”

    Customer: “No you can’t, because I paid with a $100 bill! How can they let an incompetent dip-s*** like you handle money? This is a disgrace.”

    Me: “Sir, the only disgrace here is you. For starters, company policy states that we can not accept bills larger than $50. If you did give me a $100 bill, I would refuse it and ask for a smaller bill. On top of all that, the $20 you gave me is still on the counter right next to the register.”

    (The customer goes silent, and quietly exits the store. He has not been seen at our store since.)

    A Taxing Interview

    | England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Top

    (I’m supposed to be doing interviews for a new babysitter within the hour. I quickly run out to the local supermarket to pick up a few supplies, such as biscuits and coffee for the interviewees. There is a very long line. It’s my turn to be rung up, when another customer approaches me.)

    Other Customer: “Hi, sorry, but can I just skip the queue in front of you? I’ve got a very important meeting soon.”

    Me: “Sorry, but I’m in a bit of a rush myself you see, I—”

    Other Customer: “Now you listen here you ungrateful b****! You are not in as much of a rush as me! I have a very important meeting soon! Do you know what that means? It means I have the opportunity to get a job, unlike you, you lazy b****! You probably just live off of benefits; wasting tax-payer’s money, buying s*** that you don’t even deserve! I have a job opportunity that you will never have!”

    Employee: “Excuse me, miss; I’m going to have to ask you to leave right now!”

    Other Customer: “I will not leave! Kick her out; she’s the one wasting our taxes!”

    (Security escorts her out.)

    Me: “Thank you! What a b****!”

    Employee: “Tell me about it! Are you okay?”

    Me: “Yes, I’m fine thanks!”

    (I return home half an hour later, just 10 minutes before my first interviewee is due. Lo and behold, it turns out to be the rude customer from the shop. It turns out that the important meeting she had was with me. Not surprisingly, she didn’t get the job.)

    Customer Service Stripped Bare

    | Clifton, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Top

    (I have a line of three customers on my register. Customer #1 is a good looking man in his early twenties. Customers #2 and #3 are elderly women.)

    Me: “Your total is $15.87.”

    Customer #1: “Do you take credit card?”

    Me: “Yes, just push the top button and slide your card through.”

    (Customer #1 pushes the button and slides his card, but does it the wrong way. I am bagging his items, so I don’t see this until he has tried three times.)

    Me: “Strip down, facing me.”

    (Customer #1 blushes, and I immediately realize what I’ve just said. I’m about to apologize to the elderly ladies for being risqué when…)

    Customer #2: “Yeah, honey, show us what you’ve got!”

    I’m Luggin’ It

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    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 6

    | CT, USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (My parents have both just upgraded to smart phones for the first time in their lives. They seem to be doing well, despite their usual inability to use technology. Two days after getting the phone, my parents call me.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Dad: “Hello, Jess! It’s Dad. There’s something wrong with my phone; I can’t hear incoming sound.”

    Me: “Do you see the little switch on the side? Make sure it is not showing orange and then press the up button for the volume.”

    Dad: “What? I can’t hear you!”

    (I repeat my instructions. We try several things before my parents give up.)

    Mom: “Hey, it’s not working. Should we go back to Best Buy?”

    Me: “I’ll be out in a few days, if you can wait I’ll take a look at it.”

    (I frantically look online for errors in software and hard wear being reported online, but little shows up. I’m seriously intrigued. My parents decide they’ll take it to the store and have it looked at. The next day my dad comes out to visit me.)

    Dad: “So I went to the store yesterday. I guess the plastic screen protector was blocking the speaker.”

    Me: “…you used it like that?”

    Dad: “I thought it would be extra protection!”

    Related:
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 5
    Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 4

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