November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Archive for 2013

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Space Is His Final Frontier

| MI, USA | Language & Words, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(A customer is at the fishing license kiosk, entering in his application. He is looking visibly frustrated.)

Customer: “Oh, come on!”

(I walk up to the customer.)

Me: “Alright, can I see you go through this?”

Customer: “I’ve already done it four times!”

Me: “I understand. Just one more time, please.”

(The customer types his full name in the space provided. I see the problem. Instead of ‘John L. Doe’ he writes ‘johnldoe’.)

Me: “Alright, you’re going to need to put spaces in there.”

Customer: “Fine.”

(The customer puts the spaces in. We get to the address. He types in an equivalent of: ‘123adr3$$@Clty’.)

Me: “…alright, why don’t I just handle this?”

Reading Aloud Shouldn’t Be Allowed

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Top

Customer: “I’d like to buy a dozen donuts.”

Me: “Sure! What kind would you like?”

Customer: “What kind do you have?”

Me: “Sir, all of our donuts are on display behind me, with labels in front of them. You can have a look, and tell me what you would like.”

Customer: “I can read! I want you to tell me what kind of donuts you sell! That’s your job!”

(I turn around, and proceed to read each label aloud. My coworker at the ice cream counter watches and snickers. The man waits until I have read every label, and then makes his selections.)

Me: “Will that be all?”

Customer: “Do you have muffins?”

(I gesture to the shelves full of muffins.)

Me: “Yes, we have a variety of muffins.”

Customer: “What kind?”

(My coworker chokes with laughter. I turn around again, and read the muffin labels. When I finish, the man selects two muffins.)

Me: “Will that be all?”

Customer: “I think I’ll have some ice cream, too.”

Me: “Okay! I’ll ring up your items here, and then you can go and make your selections at the ice cream counter.”

(The man completes his order, then goes over to the ice cream section. My coworker is still giggling with his back to the counter, and hasn’t seen the customer yet.)

Customer: “What kind of ice cream do you have?”

Coworker: *stops giggling*

Not That Kind Of Store



The Digit(al) Age

| NJ, USA | Language & Words, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(The customer is attempting to use the touch screen credit card machine, but the attached pen is not working.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, the pen is not working right now. It’s a touch screen, so just use the pad of your finger.”

Customer: “What? What the heck is a ‘patio finger’?”

Me: “Pad. Of. Your. Finger.”

Customer: “Oh! I thought it was some kind of young people slang.”

The Biggest Abuser

| St. Paul, MN, USA | Health & Body, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I’m a manager at a fairly large grocery store. We have a regular customer who is paralyzed from the waist down. He’s roughly 20 years old. He is scooting around on one of the store’s electric scooters, when an obese customer walks up to him.)

Customer: “How dare you go around the store in one of those! You’re taking them away from people like me who do need them!”

Regular: “Well, ma’am, I’ve been paralyzed ever since I was 14. While you can walk around and get your groceries, I certainly can’t, so I’d say I need this more that you.”

Customer: “You make me sick; pretending to be a cripple!”

(The customer then PULLS the regular out of the chair and drops him. I run over to try to help him.)

Customer: “You! Get this sick piece of trash out of here! He’s pretending to be a cripple and—”

Me: “I’m going to cut you off right there. [Regular] is most assuredly disabled, and you just picked him up and slammed him into the ground. Get out of my store, now, before I call the cops.”

Customer: “This is an injustice! I’ll sue you!” *knocks things off shelves and leaves*

(I get a call from corporate around a week later, because the customer has filed a complaint. I explain what really happened, and get the regular to confirm my story. The complaint is dropped, and the rowdy customer never returns.)