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    The Four Pillars Of Bad Behavior

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work in a poutine place downtown; we stay open until 4 am on weekends due to the nightlife. We never usually have an issue with drunk people.)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry; we do not accept credit. Do you have another method of payment?”

    Customer: “I will have you know I am the f****** niece of the owner, and he will have you all fired!”

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, that does not address the issue at hand.”

    Customer: “You f****** f**!”

    (She continues to throw insults at my coworker, telling him to go back to Africa, despite him being Caucasian. He maintains his composure.)

    Customer: “F*** you, just let me pay for my f****** food!”

    (I am right around the corner, and am an African-American female. I decide to intervene.)

    Me: “[Coworker] seems to have a lot more patience for your crap than I do. Our machines do not recognize credit cards, and that fact is completely irrelevant to his orientation. Moreover, the owner’s only brother isn’t even 30, and therefore cannot biologically have a daughter in her 20s. And that stuff about going back to Africa? You can take that up with me. Have a nice night!”

    (The customer falls silent. The crowd parts as she exits the store.)

    Coworker: “Wow, remind me not to p*** you off!”

    Me: “Don’t worry; you won’t be seeing that again. It’s one thing to be so disrespectful, another to be a compulsive liar, another to be homophobic, and another to be racist. She needed a talking to!”

    (All the customers who witness the incident tip us really well for dealing with her!)

    Space Is His Final Frontier

    | MI, USA | Language & Words, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer is at the fishing license kiosk, entering in his application. He is looking visibly frustrated.)

    Customer: “Oh, come on!”

    (I walk up to the customer.)

    Me: “Alright, can I see you go through this?”

    Customer: “I’ve already done it four times!”

    Me: “I understand. Just one more time, please.”

    (The customer types his full name in the space provided. I see the problem. Instead of ‘John L. Doe’ he writes ‘johnldoe’.)

    Me: “Alright, you’re going to need to put spaces in there.”

    Customer: “Fine.”

    (The customer puts the spaces in. We get to the address. He types in an equivalent of: ’123adr3$$@Clty’.)

    Me: “…alright, why don’t I just handle this?”

    Reading Aloud Shouldn’t Be Allowed

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Top

    Customer: “I’d like to buy a dozen donuts.”

    Me: “Sure! What kind would you like?”

    Customer: “What kind do you have?”

    Me: “Sir, all of our donuts are on display behind me, with labels in front of them. You can have a look, and tell me what you would like.”

    Customer: “I can read! I want you to tell me what kind of donuts you sell! That’s your job!”

    (I turn around, and proceed to read each label aloud. My coworker at the ice cream counter watches and snickers. The man waits until I have read every label, and then makes his selections.)

    Me: “Will that be all?”

    Customer: “Do you have muffins?”

    (I gesture to the shelves full of muffins.)

    Me: “Yes, we have a variety of muffins.”

    Customer: “What kind?”

    (My coworker chokes with laughter. I turn around again, and read the muffin labels. When I finish, the man selects two muffins.)

    Me: “Will that be all?”

    Customer: “I think I’ll have some ice cream, too.”

    Me: “Okay! I’ll ring up your items here, and then you can go and make your selections at the ice cream counter.”

    (The man completes his order, then goes over to the ice cream section. My coworker is still giggling with his back to the counter, and hasn’t seen the customer yet.)

    Customer: “What kind of ice cream do you have?”

    Coworker: *stops giggling*

    Not That Kind Of Store

    20030618

    The Digit(al) Age

    | NJ, USA | Language & Words, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (The customer is attempting to use the touch screen credit card machine, but the attached pen is not working.)

    Me: “Sorry, sir, the pen is not working right now. It’s a touch screen, so just use the pad of your finger.”

    Customer: “What? What the heck is a ‘patio finger’?”

    Me: “Pad. Of. Your. Finger.”

    Customer: “Oh! I thought it was some kind of young people slang.”


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