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    Ish No Pleasing You

    3qlwty

    Stereo-Typo

    | USA | Bigotry, Technology

    (I’m the customer service administrator. I’m the very last in line when customers ask to speak to a manager. Our tech support call center is located in India, but our headquarters, where I work, are in the States.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [company name]; this is [name].”

    Customer: “Yes, I asked for a shipping label a couple days ago to send in my unit, and I haven’t gotten it yet. What’s the hold up?”

    Me: “It looks like a shipping label was generated to be sent to your e-mail, but someone made a typo in your e-mail address. We sent it out via mail; sorry about that! It should reach you in a couple of days.”

    Customer: “What?! D*** foreigners! How hard is it to type in an e-mail address? Your company is doing a disservice, shipping jobs that honest, hard-working Americans could have, over to India!”

    Me: “The mistake was a simple typo, sir. Anyone could have made that mistake, American or otherwise.”

    Customer: “That’s just a bull-s*** excuse! If you don’t want to take my word for it, fine. But you’re doing a disservice to this country!”

    Me: “Sir, please stop cursing.”

    Customer: “What? No, f*** you! Okay, what happens when I get the label?”

    (I explain to him how to attach the label to the box and send the unit in.)

    Customer: “No! That’s bull-s***! I have to do all this work, just to get a d*** piece of s*** unit that works! Your company is terrible and—”

    Me: “Sir, if you do not calm down, I will hang up the phone.”

    Customer: “What? Hang up? Fine! Hang up on me!” *hangs up*

    His Size Is XX-Creepy

    | Papillion, NE, USA | Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

    (A male customer approaches me, holding a package of men’s underwear.)

    Customer: “Ma’am, can I ask you to do something that is probably outside your job description?”

    Me: “What is it?”

    (He puts the package down and sticks his hands in the back of his pants.)

    Customer: “Okay, I need a new pair of underwear. I don’t know what size I wear, and I can’t read the tag.”

    Me: “You can go in one of the men’s fitting rooms and check.”

    Customer: “D*** it!”

    A Drought Of Nice Customers

    | Palmerston North, New Zealand | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (We are having a really bad drought in the North Island at the moment, so we have some serious water restrictions. It’s the top of everyone’s mind, and everyone’s talking about it.)

    Me: *to customer at drive-thru* “That’ll be [total].”

    Customer: “Okay, here you go. Wow, it’s going to be another scorcher today, huh?”

    Me: “I know, I’m just about to go do a rain dance.”

    Customer: “I know how you feel. We’re on tank water, and it’s running a little low for us.”

    Me: “Well, in town we’ve just got all the regular restrictions; we’re not watering and stuff. My mum’s so upset; she’s lost her entire veggie garden because she can’t water during the day.”

    Customer: “That must be pretty hard on her. We’re doing okay, because we’ve been so careful and everything.”

    (My coworker hands me her meal, and I hand it straight out.)

    Me: “Here you go, all done!”

    Customer: “Wow, that was fast! Thanks!”

    (I think she’s about to drive away, so I move to shut the window.)

    Customer: “Hang on! Can I see your manager, please?”

    (Confused, I grab the manager on the floor.)

    Manager: “Is there a problem?”

    Customer: “I just wanted to tell you how lovely it is to get a pleasant employee at the drive-thru window. This young lady has been talking to me the entire time I was here, and it made the time absolutely fly. You so rarely get pleasant people in the service industry. I just wanted to say how nice she was. Thank you, and have a good day!”

    (With that, she drives off. My manager gives me a thumbs-up, and I feel good the rest of my shift. Sometimes you get some good ones!)

    Put-Up-With-You Charge

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