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    Freedom Isn’t Free

    | USA | Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (I’m a bank teller at a large national bank. A customer in her mid-twenties comes up to my till.)

    Me: “Welcome to [bank name]! How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I find the total amount I owe for my student loans?”

    Me: “Sure, what is your full name?”

    (She gives me her name, and I give her the amount owed. It is a fairly large amount.)

    Customer: “Perfect!”

    (With a large smile, she hands me a cashier check from another bank, for the exact amount, totally paying off all loans she has with this bank. I enter the info, and print her receipt. I quickly run to the back to see my manager.)

    Me: “Can I give this customer a couple of the promotional items that we usually give to people that open checking accounts?”

    (My manager see the amount that she is paying, and that this means the customer has totally paid off the loans.)

    Manager: “You can give her whatever you want!”

    (I grab some items, and bring them back up to the till.)

    Me: “Congratulations on paying off all your loans. Here’s your receipt, and a few gifts for paying off such a large loan amount.”

    Customer: “Thank you very much! What I’m about to say has nothing to do with you; you are a great person, and thank you very much for the free gift. So, just go with everything I’m about to do.”

    Me: “…Okay?”

    (She holds up the receipt above her head, and speaks in a loud voice.)

    Customer: “Ha! Six years ago I sold my soul to this bank! But after going through the nine circles of hell, I have finally gotten free of it! I now owe you nothing, zip, zero, nada! I am free; no more bills, payments, fees, nothing. I’M FREEEEEEE!”

    (Even as she walks out the doors, she’s yelling and dancing. The dozen or so other customers and workers watch her the whole time. Another customer speaks loud enough so just about everyone can hear him.)

    Customer #2: “Raise your hand if you wish you could do that.”

    (Just about everyone else in the bank raises their hand.)

    Not Even Remotely Close

    | ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (My customer needs help setting up a 3rd party recording device, so I spend a few minutes explaining where the connections need to go. Then he asks for help programming our remote to control his 3rd party equipment.)

    Me: “Okay, we’re almost ready to program it now! We just need one more piece of information. Can you find the manufacturer of your recorder for me?”

    Customer: “Oh yeah, it’s a Hitachi.”

    Me: “Excellent! Let’s see what the code is for Hitachi then. Give me one moment.”

    Customer: “Did you need me to spell it for you?”

    Me: “Well, you said it’s a Hitachi, right?”

    Customer: “Yeah. But it’s spelled with a ‘B’.”

    Me: “Sorry, did you say a ‘B’, as in bravo?”

    Customer: “Yeah! It says T-O-S-H-I-B-A, Hitachi!”

    A Dance Dance Revolution Revelation

    | OH, USA | Geeks Rule, Health & Body, Top

    (My friend wants to sign up for a ‘Dance Dance Revolution’ contest, and drags me with her to the sign up table.)

    Friend: “Sign me up!”

    Registration: “What’s your name?”

    (She gives registration her name and he puts her down on the chart. Then he turns to me.)

    Registration: “And your name?”

    Me: “Oh, no. I’m not playing, thanks.”

    Registration: “Why not?”

    Me: “Um… my boots are too heavy.”

    (I show him the four-inch platform costume combat boots I have on. Upon seeing this, the guy working registration slowly pushes himself back from the table. He turns in his chair, so I can see his legs. One of his legs is a prosthetic, which he seems to have enforced with duct tape at the thigh.)

    Registration: “I’m playing. What’s your excuse again?”

    Me: “…sign me up.”

    You Best Be!

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    Crackers With Whine?

    Whine

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