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    His Attitude Needs A Converter

    | Watertown, MA, USA | Bigotry, Technology

    (I am the only female in the electronics department of a large retail store. A young male customer comes in.)

    Me: “Hello, sir. Can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “Er, um, actually if you don’t mind, could I perhaps speak to someone a bit more… male?”

    Me: “Why of course, sir. Give me one moment.”

    (I find my direct supervisor. I let him know that the customer wants to speak to someone more ‘male’.)

    Supervisor: “Hello, sir. I understand you have a question for me?”

    Customer: “Yes. I was wondering if you sold any televisions that didn’t need a converter box.”

    (My supervisor looks at me.)

    Me: “If you purchase a television that was manufactured after 2004, a digital tuner is more likely to have been included in the design specifications. We can check for an Advanced Television Systems Committee input if you’d like.”

    Customer: “Uh… so?”

    Me: “An ATSC is often referred to as a ‘digital input’, which negates the need for an external antennae to capture an analog signal. When the conversion happens, it will be essential that the TV you wish to continue using have the ability to receive and translate digital signals.”

    Customer: “Um…”

    Me: “Furthermore, should you decide to utilize a Video Cassette Recorder, you would most likely find it beneficial to connect a converter box to translate the digital signal to an analog recording outlet.”

    Customer: *blank look*

    Me: “Any TV we sell has a built in digital tuner, so you don’t need a converter box. If you want to use a VCR with a new TV, you will need a converter box.”

    Customer: *speaking quickly* “Um, thanks. Have a nice day. Sorry.”

    (The customer proceeds to bow his head, tuck his hands in his pockets, and walk rapidly towards the front door.)

    Supervisor: “Nice.”

    Taking The Ham-Fisted Approach

    | NY, USA | Food & Drink

    (Seeing the line for the deli stretch halfway through the produce section, I stand in line while my fiancé goes for the rest of the stuff. Every single person in line ahead of me goes through the same process.)

    Customer: “Let me get some ham.”

    Deli Worker: “What kind of ham?”

    Customer: “Um… [brand].”

    Deli Worker: “Okay… What kind? Honey glazed, regular, salt free?”

    Customer: “Oh… uh… [type].”

    Deli Worker: “How much?”

    Customer: “Um…”

    (This continues on, not just for each customer, but even when one customer has multiple items! I finally step up to the counter just as my fiancé arrives.)

    Me: “Let me get 1/4 pound [brand] low-sodium roast reef, 1/4 pound [brand] low-sodium turkey, and 1/2 pound [store brand] American yellow, please.”

    Deli Worker: “Ooh honey, you’re my favorite customer of the day!”

    Fiancé: “What was that about?”

    Me: “Apparently, I’m the only person here that thinks ahead!”

    Customer After Me: “Let me get some… salami.”

    Deli Worker: “Here we go again!”

    The Number One Problem With Laptops

    | MA, USA | Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer drops off a laptop for repair. I set up the unit and test for common software and settings issues with no results. I turn the computer over, remove the bottom panel and immediately notice liquid and dried residue around the battery and main-board. A few seconds later a very strong smell of urine hits in waves and fills the tech. I call the customer to inform her of the findings.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am. I’ve taken a look at your computer, and we have found liquid inside the computer.”

    Customer: “Yes, I know.”

    Me: “Umm… the liquid appears to be biological in origin. Urine.”

    Customer: “Yes, I know.”

    Me: “…unfortunately, we are prohibited from working on computers that have a biological hazard in them. So I will have your computer available for pickup this afternoon.”

    Customer: “So, when will it be fixed?”

    Me: “I do apologize for the inconvenience, but we are unable to work on computers with this type of issue due to health regulations.”

    Customer: “This is why I didn’t tell you guys that it got p***** on! F*** you! I’m going to talk to your manager and get you fired!”

    (Two days later, my manager informed me that the customer had yelled at him when she picked up the computer. She then called home office to try to get us in trouble for discriminating against her when he wouldn’t order me to fix the computer.)

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