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    Very Wrong About Being Right

    | IA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (An irate caller is complaining about a billing problem that has been previously resolved by our billing specialists. He has received $50 in credits, but they will not apply until the next invoice is printed. At this time, we cannot edit already-printed invoices. The customer has been made aware of this twice per my co-workers’ notes. He does not want to wait.)

    Me: “Sir, you have been given the credits, but as you have been advised—”

    Caller: “I don’t care what I was told! Not by you, or your workers, or your managers or whoever! You are going to apply the f****** credits! The customer is always right!”

    b>Me: “I understand that you’re upset about our crediting system, but please refrain from using profanity.”

    Caller: “F*** you! The customer is always right!”

    Me: “If you continue to use profanity, I will have to end the call.” Caller: “The customer is always right!”

    Me: “Sir, we have no way—”

    Caller: “I AM THE CUSTOMER. AM. I. RIGHT?”

    Me: “No.”

    (There is a significant pause.)

    Caller: “I want your supervisor.”

    Me: “I can do that for you, but they will tell you the same thing.”

    Caller: “I want your supervisor!”

    (I get one of my supervisors, and transfer the customer over. The caller screams “THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!” at him for 15 minutes, and then hangs up.)

    Don’t Fear Hell

    149

    Cheese With That Whine?

    Whine

    Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 3

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Family & Kids, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I work on the ride with the highest height requirement in the park. I am the ‘grouper’—basically I assign the guests to where they sit for the ride, and I am the final say on whether children are tall enough.)

    Me: “Hi buddy, could you come stand on this yellow square for me? Nice and tall like a soldier.”

    (The child is clearly too short.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry, but he is too short to ride.”

    Mother: “Please let him ride! All of his other friends have ridden this.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; he is too short to ride.”

    Mother: “Please, I promise he’s not scared; he won’t cry on the ride.”

    Me: “Ma’am, the height stick doesn’t measure courage; it measures height. Your son is too short; I’m sorry.”

    Mother: “But he wants to go so badly; he’s been asking all day.”

    Me: “Ma’am, your son could come flying out because he’s too short.”

    Mother: “OH MY GOD, REALLY?!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. The height requirement is a safety issue. That’s why we take it so seriously.”

    Mother: “Oh, I just thought you were mean!”

    Related:
    Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 2
    Taking Stupidity To New Heights

    Don’t Ask What He Puts In His Granola

    | SC, USA | Funny Names

    (A customer comes in, and looks confused for several minutes.)

    Me: “Sir, can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “Where is the yogurt?”

    Me: “All of our dairy products are in the cooler.”

    Customer: “No, yogurt. You know, yogurt that you put under your arms.”

    Me: “…you mean deodorant?”

    Customer: “Yes, yogurt!”

    Me: “…aisle four.”

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