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A Sim-ple Solution

| East Bakersfield, CA, USA | Technology, Wild & Unruly

(I’m in line at technical support to get my laptop fixed. A very rude and impatient customer cuts me, and slams his phone down on the counter.)

Me: “Excuse me! You just cut me.”

Rude Customer: *ignoring me* ” You son of a b****! You were supposed to fix my phone eight days ago! What’s with this bull-s***!”

Tech Support: “Sir, we told you; there is nothing wrong with the phone. You just don’t have a sim-card in there.”

Rude Customer: “Bull-s***! I put in a sim-card, and it still doesn’t work!”

Tech Support: “Okay, then. If I see that there is no sim-card, you’re going to apologize to the woman you cut, apologize to me, and get out of my store before I plant my foot so far up your a**, that your grandchildren get the mark.”

(The technician takes the phone and opens the back cover. He starts to laugh.)

Rude Customer: “What’s so f****** funny?!”

Tech Support: “GET. OUT. NOW.”

(The 6’1, 227 lb, tech stands up. He takes his glasses off, and puts them on the counter.)

(The rude customer turns white, then turns to me.)

Rude Customer: “Sorry!”

(The customer literally makes a run out the store, while leaving his phone behind. The technician sits back down and acts as though nothing happened.)

Making A Spectacle Of Himself

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

(I am a manager at a small sunglasses store in a mall. I am not currently in the store.)

Customer: “Yo, clean these for me.”

(He throws the glasses at the clerk.)

Clerk: “Oh, okay. Here let me get a cloth and the cleaning spray.”

(The glasses land on the ground because they were thrown.)

Clerk: “Let me get those, and get them clean for y—”

Customer: “B****, you wrecked my glasses! The icon’s missing; you owe me a brand new pair!”

(Icons fit on the side of the glasses to jazz them up.)

Clerk: “Sir, you threw your glasses at me. I didn’t even see if you had the icons. Let’s look and see if there’s one on the floor here.”

(The clerk very patiently starts searching, even going so far as to get a broom and try and sweep under displays, just in case.)

Customer: “You wrecked my glasses; give me a new pair now!”

Clerk: “Sir, I can’t do that. Your glasses are right here; they’re fine. You know what? I’ll find you another pair of icons, on me, for the trouble.”

(Icons cost $15 a pair. My staff know that we’d authorize them to take a loss on such a small item to make a customer’s day.)

Customer: “B****, these were special order. I’m not leaving until you give me two pairs of these sunglasses to make up for you f****** up.”

Clerk: “I’m not giving you any sunglasses. I offered you a free pair of icons. Don’t swear at me again, or I will call security and have you escorted out.”

Customer: “Get your manager now, b****!”

(I live across the street from the mall. My staff knows I’ll come over for any reason. My clerk calls me, and I can hear she’s almost crying. I tell her I’ll be there in 10 minutes. The clerk hangs up with me and tells the customer.)

Customer: “I ain’t got 10 minutes to wait for some other b**** to get here. Give me two pairs of glasses to make up for this s***, NOW!”

Clerk: “Look, I’m not giving you anything. I’ll tell you now, my manager’s not going to give you anything either. If you can’t wait for her, leave me your name and number, and I’ll have her call you.”

Customer: “Alright, you tell that b**** to call me, and I’ll get my free glasses.”

Clerk: “Alright, can I have your name and number?”

Customer: “No, you can’t have my personal info. Who the f*** do you think you are?”

Clerk: “I need your name and number if you want the manager to call you.”

Customer: “Alright, you tell that b**** my name is Mutha-f**** Jones.”

(The customer stomps out. I arrive a couple minutes later to an empty store, save for a shaken clerk.)

Me: “Where’s the guy who’s freaking out?”

Clerk: “He said he couldn’t wait, but you can call him to discuss it. Here’s his info.”

(She hands me a card with his name on it.)

Me: “Seriously?”

Clerk: “Yep. Maybe you can call 411 and get them to look up Mr Jones for you.”

Me: “I’ll get right on that.”

(I look at the security footage, and am pretty sure he doesn’t have the icons to begin with. The crazy dude actually comes back. I call security and give him h*** for trying to scam my clerk.)

So Many Stupid Questions



Driving The Point Home

| Robeline, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Theme Of The Month

Customer #1: “Man, that’s a nice car. I’d love to have it.”

(I glance out the window and see my brother’s friend pull up to a gas pump in his ’69 Chevelle. He is a young black man. I am grinning as I turn to the two of them.)

Me: “Don’t even ask if he’ll sell it to you, because he won’t do it.”

Customer #2: “Hmph. I wonder how someone like him got a nice car like that.”

Me: “His family brought it with them when they moved here from California. It was basically a piece of junk, but he restored it with his dad.”

Customer #2: “Oh, is that so? How would you know?”

Me: “Yes, that’s so. He’s a good guy, and happens to be one of my brother’s best friends. He and his cousin would come to our house all the time when we were in high school, and they’re both like brothers to me. I don’t like that you’re trying to imply he got that car by stealing it, or doing something illegal to get it, just because he’s black!”

Customer #2: “Well, I… I… uh…”

(Customer #2 leaves quickly. Customer #1 is left laughing.)

Me: “Serves him right for being a bigot!”

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