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    Toying With The Public

    | AB, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work for the municipal division of a road construction company. One part of my job is going out to sites, once the job has been completed, to take measurements for our quantities reports. To do this I use a measuring wheel tool. I am out measuring a sidewalk that has just been completed.)

    Pedestrian: “Aren’t you a little old to be playing with children’s toys?”

    Me: *confused* “Pardon?”

    Pedestrian: *gestures at the wheel* “That’s a toy for toddlers! With those bright colours and all the noise it makes!”

    (The wheel is fluorescent orange and black, and makes a ticking noise as the number of meters roll up.)

    Me: “Well, first, I’d like to say that you are never too old to play with toys. Second, this is a measuring wheel, and I am using it to record my company’s final quantities on the city sidewalk program. It’s a tool, not a toy.”

    Pedestrian: “What a horrible liar you are! Let’s see what your boss has to say about you playing with some kid’s toy on the job AND lying!”

    (With that she storms off. I continue my work. When I return to the office later that day my safety manager calls me to her office, as she deals with complaints. She was crying from laughing so hard.)

    Kill Bill

    | Italy | Liars & Scammers, Money

    (My sister and I co-own a gas station. She usually mans the full service pump, while I follow the back office stuff. She calls me over while with a customer.)

    Me: “Yes. How can I be of help?”

    (My sister hands me a clearly false €20 bill.)

    Sister: “I exchanged his €50 bill for two €20 bills and one €10 at his request, so he could do 20 on the self service. Now he’s here claiming the self service machine doesn’t accept this bill. He wants it exchanged with another 20€ bill.”

    Customer: *smugly* “I’m sorry. I know these machine sometimes are difficult, right?”

    Me: “No problem.”

    (I take the false €20 bill and hand it back to the customer.)

    Me: “Keep this one. Just use the other one you got from your €50 bill!”

    (The scamming customer tries to open his mouth to say something, then goes back to the self service machine. I follow him. He again tries the false bill.)

    Customer: “It doesn’t work!”

    Me: *with a smile* “Use the other one.”

    (The customer reluctantly uses a good 20€ bill. He pumps the gas, and leaves without a word.)

    In Line And Out Of Line, Part 2

    | USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (I’m standing in line at a Black Friday sale, waiting to check out my purchases. We’ve been standing about 45 minutes as the lines are very, VERY long. There is a man all by himself, with no cart and no purchases, standing two customers in front of me. All of a sudden his wife pulls two carts over, with their daughter pushing another one. All three carts are filled completely. They push through the line and get in with him. One of the customers in the line speaks up.)

    Customer #1: “Hey! You can’t just cut in line like that. We’ve been waiting an hour. Get to the back!”

    Cutting Customer: “F*** you! It’s not my fault you don’t know how to shop. Mind your own f****** business!”

    Me: “Excuse me. Would you mind watching your language? I don’t want my son to hear that.”

    Cutting Customer: “You can kiss my a**, b****! That little p**** is going to learn it one way or the other. He’s an ugly little SOB with that hair cut, anyway!”

    My Son: “I’m growing my hair to donate to kids with cancer, like my best friend!”

    (The cutting customer’s daughter decides to speak up.)

    Cutting Customer’s Daughter: “Your little f** friend should just die. Why do they give them treatments for that s*** anyway? I hope he dies, you little a**-wipe.”

    (My four-year-old son starts crying, asking me if his friend is going to die. I try to calm him down. Meanwhile, my friend gets the manager of the store.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, this woman just told me what you said to her son and that you cut in line. I’m going to ask you once to please move to the back of the line; otherwise, you’ll need to leave the store.”

    Cutting Customer: “Now, you look here! You can’t make us move. We’re buying more than $1000 worth of stuff here! And that b**** and her snot nosed kid got what they deserved.”

    (The manager gets on his walkie-talkie and has security escort them out. Upon the managers and several customers suggestions, we file verbal harassment charges on the customers who cut in. The manager made a donation for $500 to the charity that my son’s friend had out in my son’s name. We cut his hair three months later, donating 18 inches, which they made into a wig. His friend made a full recovery, by the way. They both donate their hair about every five years.)

    Related:
    In Line And Out Of Line

    And The Children Shall Lead, Part 2

    | USA |

    (I am a 33-year-old woman managing a local fast food restaurant. I love what I do, and take pride in my job and my restaurant. I also happen to be only five feet tall.)

    Customer: “Hi. I want to order catering for a party I am having tomorrow.”

    Me: “Well, we typically need more notice to do a catering order. How many people are you expecting?”

    Customer: “Something like 120.”

    Me: “We usually can’t do something that large on such short notice, but let me see—”

    Customer: “You know what? Let me talk to the manager so I don’t have to be here all day!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am the manager. I’m not saying we can’t do it for sure. I just want to see if we have the staff scheduled, to see if I can pull this off for you.”

    Customer:You are the manager? What are you, like 16? How young can you be to be a manager at [Restaurant]? They really need to start caring about their restaurants and hire some adults to run this place! I mean, it’s just kids around here! How are you supposed to run a business without any adults around?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m in my 30s, married, and have children old enough to almost work here themselves.”

    Customer: “OH! You are SO LYING! How old are you REALLY?”

    (I pull out my driver’s license, covering my info with my thumb, all but my birthdate.)

    Customer: “Um.. uh… Sorry. You.. uh.. you… you don’t LOOK your age.”

    Me: “I’ll take your shock as a compliment. Now, let me look to see if we have the staff to make your party happen.”

    (I check. We did. We pulled off her party the next day.)

    Related:
    And The Children Shall Lead

    Meeting The Evil Stepmother

    | USA | Family & Kids, Holidays, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I am visiting my grandparents for the holidays. It’s the day after Christmas. My family all go to the movies. Because I am the only kid, I go to go see Tangled. My parents and grandparents go to see an R-rated movie. Even though I am sixteen at the time, I love Disney. I am sitting in the middle row waiting for the movie to start, when an older customer and her grandchildren come in.)

    Customer: *snorts* “You should be ashamed of yourself! Someone your age seeing a Disney movie by yourself!”

    Me: “You are never too old to see a Disney movie. Besides, it’s not any of your business what I watch.”

    (The customer stomps off, taking her grandkids to the front row. I roll my eyes. Then another customer walks up to me.)

    Other Customer: “She was rude, huh? Just so you know, I am 38 years old and I love Disney. I came here by myself because my sons would not come with me. Do you mind if I sit by you?”

    Me: “Of course!”

    (The other customer and I talk about all our favorite Disney movies. We both very much enjoyed the movie, even if the grandmother was turning around to glare at us during the whole movie!)


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