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    Archive for 2013

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    Preorder Disorder

    | Wichita, KS, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (It is mid December. I am purchasing Christmas gifts for my niece and nephew. I have just found out from their father that they want a specific toy which has been popular. A local big-box store has a sale on them. I order online and enter the store on my lunch break to pick them up.)

    Employee: “Here are your items. Please make sure they are what you ordered online.”

    (I pick up the toys and inspect them. As I am looking at the one for my niece, a customer appears from nowhere and attempts to snatch the toy from my hands.)

    Customer: “Hey! That’s the toy I have been looking for! They are out of stock on the shelf. I need to buy it now!”

    (The cashier takes toy from me so the customer will stop grabbing for it.)

    Cashier: “Madam, he has already purchased this online and is picking it up. I’d be happy to—”

    Customer: “No! I was here first and that toy should be mine! He just came and you gave it to him. He hasn’t even paid! He’s cheating! He cut in line!”

    Cashier: “Please calm down. I’m sure we can order one or find you one at another store. He has already purchased this one so we cannot sell it to you.”

    Customer: “LIAR! He’s a cheater and you are too! Get me your manager now so I can buy this toy for my baby!”

    (At this point the customer is yelling loudly and has drawn the attention of the entire front of the store. The manager is already on his way over.)

    Manager: “Madam, I’m sorry for the upset. What is the problem?”

    Customer: “Your employee is cheating! This man just came in the store and she is handing him the toy that I have been looking for. He hasn’t even paid for it. I demand you sell me this toy and not give it to this cheater!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry but he has ordered this online and is now picking it up. I’d be happy to—”

    (In the meantime, the cashier has placed the toys in a bag and quietly hands them to me while waving for me to go. I hurry towards the door.)

    Customer: *starts trying to get past the manager* “There he goes! He is stealing my baby’s toy! He cut in line and he’s a CHEATER! A CHEATER!”

    (I hurry out the door hearing her screams as I hurry to my car. I hope she calmed down and got her toy. I hadn’t seen that kind of crazy since I last dared to go to a Black Friday sale.)

    Should Have Saved The Date In Their Advent Calendar

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Hi, ma’am. Welcome to [Toy Store]. Can I help you find anything?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Do you guys still sell Advent calendars here?”

    (It’s December 10th, halfway through Advent.)

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am. We’ve been out of Advent calendars since mid-November. We didn’t even have any for Black Friday, unfortunately.”

    Customer: “So you don’t have any?”

    Me: “No. But we do them every year, so there’s already next year.”

    Customer: “Ah, shoot. I was really looking forward to getting one for the kids.”

    Me: “Yeah. With something like that I always recommend getting them as early as possible. Definitely before December.”

    Customer: “When is the next time you’ll be getting them in?”

    Me: “Next September.”

    French Cafe Charges Rude Customers More

    The manager of Le Petit Syrah in Nice imposed a cost on rudeness. Demand “a coffee,” and it’s $9.50, in dollars. Say “please,” and the price drops to $6. And if you greet the waiter with a friendly “bonjour,” the bill comes to $2.

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    Tis The Season To Be Deaf To Reason

    | ME, USA | Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Hello, ma’am! How are you doing today?”

    Customer: “Oh, just fine. Thanks. Last minute preparations. Are you ready for Christmas?”

    Me: “I suppose you can say that.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Well, I don’t celebrate Christmas. So I’m always ready for it, in a way.”

    Customer: “What?! Why don’t you celebrate Christmas?”

    Me: “I’m not Christian.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: *a little slower* “I’m not Christian.”

    Customer: *louder* “What?”

    Me: “I’m an atheist.”

    Customer: *near shouting* “I’m just not understanding!”

    Me: “I don’t believe that any god exists.”

    Customer: “WHAT? I JUST AM NOT UNDERSTANDING!”

    Me: “…I celebrate Christmas.”

    Customer: *in normal volume* “Well, of course, dear. Everyone does! Merry Christmas and God bless!”

    (She gives me a jaunty wave and heads out if the store. My bagger turns to me.)

    Bagger: “Am I in crazy-town?”

    Me: “Apparently we’re in Bethlehem.”

    He’s Furbious

    | Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Holidays, Spouses & Partners, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I am working the register in the store where we sell electronics including toys, like Furbies, robot dogs, etc. A scruffy-looking customer comes in, followed moments later by twenty-something woman and her boyfriend. The couple begin looking at tablets, when the woman spots our Furbies.)

    Woman: “Oh look, Furbies. They’re so cute! These must be new ones. They have digital eyes! They’re smaller than mine, too. Hey, Furby!”

    (She starts to have a silly conversation with the Furby. Her genuine excitement is pretty adorable. I exchange an appreciative smile with her boyfriend as she chatters away. Suddenly, the scruffy customer storms over to them and grabs the Furby, throwing it hard to the ground. I come running.)

    Boyfriend: “What the h*** are you doing?!”

    Me: “Excuse me. If that Furby is broken, I’ll need you to pay for the damage. Now, please back off.”

    Scruffy Customer: *aiming abuse at the woman* “F*** the lot of you! She was doing my head in. The stupid little b**** is acting like a kid. Are you special?! Did you get out early from your special school, *****? People like you f*** off! I f****** hate people like you when I’m trying to f****** buy stuff!”

    (The woman is clearly speechless and her eyes are watering. Her boyfriend is livid and yells at the guy. I quickly pick up the Furby to check it’s not broken. The guy starts flailing his arms and tells the boyfriend that he’s going to ‘do him in.’)

    Me: “Get out now, mate. You’ve threatened violence to my customers, and us three are witnesses. I’ll call the police right now. Leave.”

    Scruffy Customer: “Aye. Well, **** you too you, cow. Both you f***s!”

    (The boyfriend suddenly grabs the scruffy customer by the collar and turfs him out of the shop. The scruffy customer clearly gets a fright at the boyfriend’s strength and runs for it, cursing all the way down the street.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry about that guy. What a moron. Are you guys okay?”

    (The woman nods, crying a little, and her boyfriend cuddles her.)

    Boyfriend: “I couldn’t take any more of that. She has Asperger’s, and sometimes can seem a bit childish to people who don’t know her. Thanks for trying to help.”

    Me: “Ah. No problem. I hate seeing anyone get hassled by an idiot like him. Hey, I’m going to log this Furby as being smashed by a customer. I’d have to bin it, so you can just take it if you want.”

    Woman: “Oh, no. That’s okay. I don’t want you to get in trouble. There are security cameras in here and you could get into bother for being seen doing that.”

    Me: “Nah. My boss is more like a mate. He’d understand if it came up. Trust me. Here. It sounds like you struck a bond with it, anyway!”

    (We all laugh and chat for a little while longer before they leave with their new Furby. Two days later I came in to work to find a Christmas card had been left for me, by them, as well as a £15 gift card with a note saying my lunch was on them for being so nice!)

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