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    They Taste A Bit Brimstoney

    | Roseburg, OR, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Religion

    Me: “Hello, ma’am, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I bought some shrimp the other day, and would like to return them.”

    Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “The shrimp’s souls are in Hell.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Well they are freezer burned, and since they are ‘burned’, that means that their little souls are in Hell. I just can’t eat anything that has been damned.”

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    The Wait Time Was Criminal

    | Chattanooga, TN, USA | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (My husband calls a diner ahead for two Philly sandwiches. When we pull up, we see the waitress and the cook waiting outside while one person is eating at the counter.)

    Cook: “Are you [last name]?”

    Husband: “Yes?”

    Cook: “I’m sorry, but there’s been… an issue with your order.”

    Husband: “What’s going on?”

    Cook: “We’re waiting for the cops. You see, I was in the middle of making your order. That gentleman in there came in, grabbed your food off the grill, and sat down to eat. We think he might be armed. We’ve locked him inside, and we’re waiting for the cops.”

    (My husband is speechless.)

    Cook: “I’ll also have to remake your order if you still want it.”

    Husband: “It’s okay. We’ll wait.”

    (We are there for over an hour. The cops show up rather shortly. They arrest the man, and take all available evidence. The cook and waitress have to clean everything before they can make my husband’s order. We are given half off for our wait!)

    Separation Of Church And Irate

    | CA, USA | Bigotry, Politics, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (A group of women have a weekly Bible study at our coffee shop. I am waiting on a young man in line.)

    Customer: “You need to do something about those women over there. They can’t have a Bible study in a place like this.”

    Me: “Yes they can. They come here every week, order coffee and pastries, and don’t disturb anyone.”

    Customer: “Well, they are offending me! They shouldn’t be here!”

    (The customer starts yelling.)

    Customer: “SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE!”

    Me: “Sir, please keep your voice down.”

    Customer: “I demand to see your manager!”

    (I get my manager, who has been observing this situation from the back room.)

    Customer: “A coffee shop is no place for a Bible study. This is offensive!”

    Manager: “These women have been meeting here for over five years. They have never caused any problem to anyone. Now give your order to the barista, and then leave.”

    (The customer orders, and as he is leaving, walks by the women and knocks a Bible onto the floor. She picks it up, puts it back on the table and heads over to the counter. She thanks me and my manager for sticking up for them, and puts a $20 in the tip jar!)

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