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    A Fight Between Black-Felts

    | NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Top

    (I am a 17-year-old male. I’ve recently become interested in learning how to make stuffed animals. I decide to make a stuffed animal for my sister, and go to the local fabric store for some felt and materials.)

    Me: “Hi, can I get black, white, orange, and yellow felt please?”

    Cashier: “Of course! What for, if I may ask?”

    Me: “I’m going to attempt to make a stuffed animal for my sister; wish me luck!”

    Cashier: “Aw, that’s so sweet!”

    (The cashier hands me the black, white, and orange felt.)

    Cashier: “You’ve got the last black felt, but let me check to see if we have any more yellow.”

    (The cashier goes to the back. An elderly customer comes in, and snatches the black felt out of my hands.)

    Me: “Hey! I need that!”

    Elderly Customer: “No, you don’t. What would a stupid kid like you need this for?”

    Me: “I have my reasons. Can I please get that back?”

    Elderly Customer: “I need this more than you do. I bet you don’t even know how to sew; you’re a boy.”

    (The cashier comes back.)

    Cashier: “We’re all out of yellow, but we have—hey, why does she have the black felt?”

    Elderly Customer: “I need it more than this brat!”

    Me: “She grabbed it from me. Theoretically I could just cut up an old T-shirt or someth—”

    (The cashier snatches the felt from the woman.)

    Cashier: “Give me this.”

    Elderly Customer: “WHAT WOULD SOME TEENAGER NEED THAT FOR?!”

    Cashier: “He’s making a stuffed animal for his sister; now get out before I throw you out.”

    (The elderly customer grumbles and leaves.)

    Me: “Thank you so much.”

    Cashier: “Honestly, I don’t know why that woman keeps coming back. Good luck on your stuffed animal; come back and show it to me!”

    Me: “I’ll be sure to!”

    (The stuffed animal came out great; I hope my sister loves it!)

    OK, Bye!

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    Drinking Shooters All Night Long

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m in line at a local liquor store. The customer in front of me has clearly had too much to drink already, and is slurring his words when he speaks. The cashier is a smaller gentleman with long hair, who doesn’t look much older than 20.)

    Cashier: “Good afternoon, sir. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “I’ll tell you what you can help me with; you can give me all the money you got up in this b****!”

    (The man proceeds to pull a gun out of his coat, which then falls to the ground. He stumbles after it, and points it towards the cashier, who hasn’t moved or said anything at this point.)

    Cashier: “Sir, please put the gun away.”

    Customer: “Not until you give me all your f****** money, you dumb-a** b****!”

    (At this point, I’m ducking behind one of the displays but can still see what is going on. Suddenly, the cashier reaches over the counter, presses the clip release on the gun, and takes the clip out. The inebriated customer looks shocked.)

    Cashier: “Sir, I’ve just recently returned from my tour in Afghanistan. I can tell that one, you have the safety on, two, this is an airsoft gun that you painted to look like a real gun, and three, you’re clearly far too drunk to fight back if I were to defend myself. So please, do yourself a favour; leave this store before I alert the authorities.”

    (The inebriated man looks down at his gun, back up to the cashier, and then drops the gun and runs out of the store before stumbling and passing out just outside. The other customers and I are laughing at this point.)

    Cashier: “Anybody want a free airsoft gun?”

    Her Shipping Method Is Full Of Holes

    | Jacksonville, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to ship this textbook.”

    Me: “I can help you with that, ma’am. I would suggest, however, purchasing a mailer or box to ship it in. This box is not made for shipments.”

    Customer: “What! Why can’t I use this?!”

    Me: “Because it’s a Krispy Kreme donut box.”

    Thinks He Is Customer Number One

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (A customer comes in. While he is a regular, no one on staff cares for him, because he always acts like he should get special treatment.)

    Me: “Hi, [Customer]. How are you today?”

    Customer: “Fine, Here’s your movies.”

    (He throws them on the counter, and they scatter everywhere. I start picking them up.)

    Me: “These movies didn’t come from here. In fact they aren’t even from another one of the stores in our chain, but a completely different one.”

    Customer: “What do you mean? So I can’t return them here?”

    Me: “No, you’ll have to take them back to [Competitor].”

    Customer: “I don’t see why! Don’t you know how much money I spend here?”

    Me: “Actually, I do know you’re in here quite often, but I still can’t take movies from [Competitor].”

    (He argues with me for a while, and I try to calmly explain why I cannot take his movies. He continues to be belligerent, and knocks over other things that we have sitting on the counter.)

    Me: “Sir, I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “Fine! I’m leaving and taking my business elsewhere!”

    (As I watch him leave the store, instead of heading toward his car, he goes around to the part of the building facing the road and proceeds to urinate all over the windows. The entire store has huge windows, so after all the ruckus he caused, my staff and our customers in the store all see this. Everyone is in shock over this display. I start calling the police.)

    Me: “Yes, I would like to make a report on a man who exposed himself and urinated on our building… Why, yes, I do happen to have his name and his address…”


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