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You Got The Wrongest Number, Part 7

| Mercer County, NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work for a franchise of a major cell phone company in the US.)

Customer: “I just had a woman call me on my cell phone. Can you look up her information and tell me her last name and address?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but unless you are listed on the account as an authorized user I cannot give away any personal information.”

Customer: “Well then, can you add me as an authorized user so I can see her address?”

Me: “No, sir, only the account holder can add or remove authorized users.”

Customer: “Well she called me and I want to find her; what can I do?”

Me: “Call her back?”

Customer: “I can’t do that; after she gave me her name she realized it was a wrong number and hung up!”

Me: “So let me get this straight, you want me to look up a customer’s number, add you as an authorized user, give you her name and address, and you don’t even know her?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Sir, you need to leave.”

You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 6
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 5
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 4
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
You Got The Wrong(est) Number

Breast Not To Correct Them

| QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am working the drive-thru.)

Customer: “I’d like to have three boxes of chicken legs, white.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “What, don’t tell me you’re out already?! These chicken legs can’t be brown, okay? They have to be white!”

Me: “Ma’am, there’s no such thing as white chicken legs. It’s always brown meat.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me, girl! I know what I eat. I. WANT. WHITE CHICKEN LEGS!”

Me: “Okay, okay, let me see if we have some.”

(I order up three servings of chicken breast, and meet the customer at the drive-thru window with the food.)

Customer: “This better be my white chicken legs!”

Me: “You can check if you want, ma’am. If it’s not to your liking, we can always switch.”

(The client checks inside the three boxes, and smiles triumphantly.)

Customer: “I knew you had some! They always tell me they don’t, but the others always lie. I like you. I’ll come back again!”

You’ll Need A Brake After This

| USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Transportation

(A customer has had one of our cars for three days, when he calls our customer service number.)

Customer: “The car is stuck in park. No matter what I do, it will not go out of park. I’m trying pretty hard, but I don’t want to break the gear shift.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear about that; let’s take a look at this and see what we can do. Are you able to start the car at all?”

Customer: “Yes the car starts just fine, and everything works. It just won’t move.”

Me: “Are there any indicator lights on?”

Customer: “All of them come on when you start the car.”

Me: “Okay, go ahead and put your foot on the break, flush to the floor.”

Customer: “What? What is that? What do you mean?”

Me: “The brake pedal. Go ahead and push that down, and then shift into reverse.”

Customer: “I still don’t know what you mean.”

Me: “The pedal next to the accelerator. Push that down.”

Customer: “It worked! Thank you so much; I thought I was going to be stuck here!”

You Look Bored



Couldn’t String It Together

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(A customer is returning a pyjama set that has a drawstring on the pants.)

Customer: “I need to return these pyjamas. They’re way too small! They must be the smallest size large ever made!”

Me: “Not a problem, ma’am; did you have a receipt?”

Customer: “Yes, somewhere in here.”

(The customer holds up the pyjama bottoms and stretches the waistband as far as it will go, which is not very far since the drawstring is still tied.)

Customer: “I mean, really! Does this look like a size large to you?”

Me: “Well, you can untie the string and it should stretch more.”

(I untie it. She stares, mouth agape, as she stretches the pants to twice their size.)

Customer: “Oh, wow! Well, I guess that’s all I needed!”