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    Solving A Thorny Issue

    | MO, USA | Funny Names, Movies & TV

    (A phone call comes in at work.)

    Me: “This is the electronics department. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I need this movie for my nephew! It’s all he wants.”

    Me: “Okay, which movie is it?”

    Caller:Game of Thorns! Number two!”

    Me: “Oh, Game of Thrones, maybe? The second season?”

    Caller: “NO! Game of THORNS! NUMBER two!”

    Me: “I don’t believe there’s a movie called Game of Thorns. I do have the second season of Game of Thrones, though.”

    Caller: *very angry now* “It’s Game of Thorns! Thorns! T-H-R-O—” *mumbles* “Thooorns… thrrrones?” *very quietly* “Game of Thrones…”

    Me: “…”

    Caller: “Yeah. You got that?”

    Me: “Yes. We have several copies of Game of Thrones. Seasons one and two.”

    (The caller hangs up.)

    He Has The Floor Model But His Wife Has The Floor

    | Allentown, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Top

    (My fair-trade, non-profit store is rather on the small side. We have no stockroom, meaning that all of our available merchandise is on the sales floor. One night I am working alone when new customers come in. The wife is very pleasant, but the husband decides that he’s going to do everything in his power to mess with me. After about twenty minutes of his questioning my store’s mission, whether we really qualify as a non-profit, and why he should care about the people who make the products we sell, he and his wife decide on a silk lamp. We have only one available.)

    Customer: “How much is the lamp?”

    Me: “That is [price].”

    Customer: “I mean after my discount. You’re going to give me a discount because I’m buying the floor model.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t have a back room. Everything we sell is the ‘floor model.’ It’s going to be [price].”

    Customer: “Oh, come on! You gotta give me some kind of discount!”

    Customer’s Wife: “Honey, stop talking before I tell her to add on a bonus charge for having to put up with you.”

    And The Father Of Despair Is On Aisle Three

    | MT, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Funny Names

    (I am doing a return for a customer. She is getting money back for it. I have to get a manager to come up to open the register. To do so, I call over our walkie-talkies.)

    Me: “Can I get an M.O.D to customer service?”

    Customer: “M.O.D?”

    Me: “Oh, M.O.D just means ‘manager on duty.’”

    Customer: “Oh! I thought it stood for ‘Mother of Destruction!’”

    Nothing But Air Between His Bun

    , | Hertfordshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work in a burger restaurant. We’ve just started a new promotion with two new burgers.)

    Me: “Hi there. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, umm… Can I try your new burger?”

    Me: “Sure. Is that the cheddar burger or the Mediterranean chicken burger?”

    Customer: “Uh… what’s the difference?”

    Me: “The cheddar burger is a beef burger with cheddar cheese, while the Mediterranean is a chicken burger with peppers and salsa.”

    Customer: “I… I don’t know?”

    Me: “This one…” *points to picture* “…is our new beef burger, and this one…” *points to another picture* “…is our new chicken burger.”

    Customer: “Oh right! So, can I get the new one?”

    Me: “Chicken or beef, sir?”

    Customer: “Uh… chicken? I guess?

    Me: “So, just to check you want the Mediterranean chicken burger? This burger here?”

    Customer: “I think so.”

    Me: “Okay. Anything else for you?”

    Customer: “So, what have I ordered?”

    Me: “This burger here, sir.” *points to picture again* “The Mediterranean chicken burger.”

    Customer: “Wait, what’s in it?”

    Me: “Crispy chicken, peppers, lettuce, salsa and mayo. Is that okay?”

    Customer: “Yeah, sounds good!”

    (I hand the customer his meal and he walks off. He’s back about 10 minutes later, with half of the burger.)

    Customer: “Erm, this isn’t what I ordered.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I thought you wanted the Mediterranean chicken?”

    Customer: “No. I wanted the new burger. That one!” *points at cheddar burger picture*

    Me: “Oh, right… Okay. I’ll just get that for you. Have you already eaten half of the chicken burger?”

    Customer: “Yeah, sorry! I didn’t realise until now that it wasn’t the beef one.”

    Walking A Mile With Another Man’s Candy

    | Charlotte, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I am checking out a customer.)

    Me: “Hello! How are you doing today?”

    (The customer just mumbles something. I am scanning his groceries. I am almost finished when he says something to me.)

    Customer: “Grab me a couple of sneakers back there.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir?”

    Customer: “Get me two sneakers from over there!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I do not understand what you are asking for.”

    Customer: “Are you stupid or deaf? A COUPLE D*** SNEAKERS! RIGHT BEHIND YOU! JESUS CHRIST!”

    Me: “Sir, there is no need to take that tone with me, as I am neither deaf or stupid.”

    (The customer is getting furious with me. The next customer behind him in line tries to clarify the misunderstanding.)

    Next Customer: “I think he’s asking for SNICKERS Candy Bars.”

    Me: “Thank you. I’m sorry, sir. I’ll get them for you.”

    Customer: “Never mind! If you’re too f****** stupid to understand what I am asking for, what the h*** are you doing workin’ with customers?!”

    Me: “Sir, I apologized for not understanding you. But you can not and will not talk to me in that foul manner. There are children around. Even if there weren’t, you should never speak to anyone like that. That is completely uncalled for!”

    Customer: “F*** you! Give me my d*** change!”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    (He finally gets his things and leaves. The next customer steps up.)

    Next Customer: “I didn’t understand him at first. I thought he was asking for a d*** pair of shoes!” *laughs*

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