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A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 4

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

(I am working at the customer service counter. A middle-aged couple walks up, their 3D glasses still in the packaging.)

Me: “Hi there! Can I help you?”

Customer #1: “Yes, we’re seeing [popular 3D movie], and the screen is very blurry!”

Me: “Hmm, that’s strange; usually the 3D glasses merge the images just fine. Let me call my manager, and see if something is wrong.”

Customer #2: “But it should be clear even without the glasses. We can’t wear them!”

Me: “Oh, well you have to wear the glasses with this version; otherwise you won’t be able to see the movie clearly, and will get a wicked headache from it.”

Customer #1: *snottily* “Well, we have a medical condition that doesn’t allow us to see 3D. We’ve watched movies before without the glasses on just fine.”

Me: “If you’d like, there is a non-3D version playing in about 30 minutes. I can refund you the surcharge for the 3D one, and then you don’t have to wear the glasses to watch it.”

Customer #2: “If we wanted to go to the non-3D showing, then we would have gone to that one. Just because this showing is in 3D doesn’t mean I should have to watch it in 3D. I want a refund!”

(My manager by now has heard the whole conversation, and refunds the order for the couple, who then storm out of the theater.)

Manager: *to me* “If you know you have a medical condition that makes it so you can’t see 3D, then why—”

Me: “I have no idea.”

Related:
A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 3
A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 2
Get A Life
A New Dimension Of Stupidity

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid

(I’m looking through a display of jeans when a middle-aged customer approaches me. It’s the middle of winter.)

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Um, yes, ma’am?”

Customer: “You work here, right?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry; I don’t.”

Customer: “Oh. Well you’re not wearing a coat!”

Me: “Yeah, I rented a locker so that I wouldn’t have to carry around a big heavy coat while I shop.”

Customer: “Well that’s stupid. How am I supposed to know you don’t work here if you’re not wearing a coat?”

Me: “Uhh, the lack of uniform?”

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

Taking A Dip In The Deep End

| Louisville, KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

Me: “Hi! Are you checking in?”

Elderly Wife: “Well, we may be. We’d like to see one of your rooms.”

Me: “Sure thing.”

(After establishing which type of room they’d like to see, the elderly husband takes the key and starts heading toward the room.)

Elderly Wife: “I’m sorry; I know this is unusual. But my husband always needs to check the water level in the commodes. If it’s too high, he sometimes… dips in.”

(The husband comes back.)

Elderly Husband: “Let’s try the place across the street…”

Should Have Stayed Clear Of The Bottle

| UK | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I work in a little cafe near my friend’s dojo. She often comes by after practice. A shifty looking man enters, approaches the counter, and pulls a knife.)

Robber: “Empty the f****** till.”

(I start to do so. I see my friend approaching through the window. It’s a cold day, so she’s wearing a hoody with her judo jacket over the top. I try and get her attention.)

Robber: “Hurry the f*** up!”

(I drop some money under the counter in my fear. I bend down to pick it up. The man rests his knife hand on the counter, and leans over to make sure I’m not phoning the police.)

My Friend: “Everything okay?”

Me: “Yeah… just… getting this man his change.”

(My voice is shaking. She can tell something is up. She crosses to the fridge cabinet.)

My Friend: “Oh, you’ve still got [brand drink]. It comes in a glass bottle! Just what I need after practice!”

(She comes up behind the man and, without warning, slams the bottle down on the hand holding the knife. She slams hard enough to shatter the bottle. He screams, dropping the knife. He grabs for it with his other hand, but she wraps one arm around his throat and puts the broken bottle to the underside of his chin.)

My Friend: “Don’t even think about it.”

(I call the police, and the robber is arrested. My friend is warned about using excessive force, and given a lifetime supply of free drinks by my manager.)

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