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    Think Small

    | CT, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am working the pay window at a fast food restaurant.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: “Why did they ask me small, medium, or large?”

    Me: “For the size of your combo.”

    Customer: “That is too complicated for drive-thru.”

    Can’t Handle The Weight Of Girl Power

    | ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I am a girl, and so is the customer.)

    Customer: “I need a guy to help me get some boxes of paper.”

    Me: “Oh, they’re all busy, but that’s okay; I can get it for you.”

    Customer: “No! Girls shouldn’t be lifting heavy things!”

    Me: “Why not? I lift heavy things all the time.”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t be!”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Customer: “Because you are a woman! Women can’t lift heavy things! You’ll hurt your back!”

    Me: “Not if I lift it properly. I carry boxes of paper all the time as part of my job. I can lift it no problem.”

    Customer: “But I need five of them!”

    Me: “That’s okay; I’ll put them on a dolly.”

    Customer: “No! Women shouldn’t be lifting things as heavy as that!”

    Me: “Okay, seriously. Women can lift whatever they want. Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean that I can’t lift paper. If I wasn’t a strong woman, maybe I wouldn’t be strong enough to do it, and then I would hurt myself. But I am strong enough to lift that paper, so I won’t hurt myself.”

    Customer: “I’M NOT BUYING THE PAPER UNLESS A MAN LIFTS IT FOR ME!”

    Found Out His Pecking Order

    | Burien, WA, USA | Pets & Animals

    (I work at a store that sells only pet food, no actual live pets, nor have we ever sold live pets. I answer the phone.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [pet store]. This is [name]; how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I was in there about a month ago and I bought chicks from you guys. I was told they were all females, but I have two boys! I want to know how you’re going to fix it.”

    Me: “Oh, I am sorry, sir. I am sure you didn’t purchase them here—”

    Customer: “Don’t you dare try to tell me I didn’t buy them from you! You just don’t want to take responsibility for your mistake!”

    Me: “I’m sorry for the misunderstanding here—”

    Customer: “No! There is no misunderstanding! You made a mistake when you sold me these chickens, and now it’s your job to fix it! This is America!”

    Me: “Sir, if you would just let me explain—”

    Customer: “What is there to explain that I didn’t just tell you!?”

    Me: “Sir! If you had listened to me initially, you would know that we did not sell you those chicks. I know that for certain because we do not sell live pets here. I also hate to inform you this, but when purchasing a box of chicks it comes at a certain risk. Sexing chicks at such a young age is incredibly difficult. However if you cannot or do not wish to keep the roosters, most places that sell them will take them back. However in order to fix this situation, you need to contact the people that actually sold you the birds.”

    (The customer suddenly goes all quiet and sheepish.)

    Customer: “This isn’t [other pet store], is it?”

    Me: “No, sir, this is [my pet store].”

    Customer: *click*

    Backing Up And Away

    funny_computer_user

    Law And Order: The Next Generation

    | Australia | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Money, Top

    (A customer approaches the counter with curtains in her hand. Her 15-year-old daughter hovers around.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am! Those curtains will be a total of $45, at $15 a piece.”

    Customer: “What? No, the sign said $5 a piece.”

    Me: “Really? I’m very sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am; I was told not to sell these specific curtains for any less than $15. We are a charity drive, so I hope you understand the pricing.”

    Customer: “No, you don’t get it. These curtains were over there on that rack, and it said $5! You are bound, by law, to sell me these at this pri—”

    (The daughter interrupts.)

    Customer’s Daughter: “Actually, she’s not. The sign beside the curtains could have been referring to any number of things. That said, even if we were to assume that it referred to the curtains themselves, it would only constitute an invitation to treat, which is something very different to an offer. You know as well as I do that both an offer and an acceptance are needed to form a contract. By taking the curtains to the counter, you’re offering, and by disagreeing with an express term of the contract—in this case, the price—this lovely lady who’s merely performing her job is not accepting. Therefore, no contract has been formed.”

    Customer: “I… I… shut up!”

    (The customer storms out of the shop.)

    Me: “Thank you!”

    Customer’s Daughter: “No problem. I just finished a semester on contract law, and she’s done this in the past three stores we’ve gone to. I hope things look up for you!”

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