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    Tipped Over The Edge



    Stupidity Goes Up To Eleven

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

    Customer: “Hi, I would like two tickets for [show].”

    Me: “Actually, it is [other ticket office] selling the shows in that venue.”

    Customer: “So, do you have their phone number?”

    Me: “Sure thing, it’s ###-###-1111.”

    Customer: “Liar! You’re giving me a fake number because you don’t want me to buy tickets from your competitors!”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I assure you, that really is their phone number. They don’t sell the same shows as we do, so we don’t mind if you do business with them. I give that number out many times a day.”

    Customer: “That’s impossible! My phone’s dial pad stops at 9! So how can a phone number end with 11-11? You’re lying to me!”

    Dead Parrot Sketch

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (I work in a pet store. We offer a variety of animals, including birds.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, could I ask you a question?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    Customer: “Do you have any red birds for sale?”

    Me: “I’m afraid that all of the birds we have right now are green and blue, no red ones. I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “Well, can’t you just make one red for me, then?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, that’s not something we can do.”

    Customer: “And why not, exactly? I think you’re just being lazy, and I have more than half a mind to call your manager!”

    Me: “You could do that, but he can’t make the birds red either, sorry.”

    (The customer storms off in a huff. She comes back later asking if it is safe to dip a bird in paint.)

    Self-Scanning And Self-Aware

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout

    (My fiancé and I are at the self-service checkout at the grocery store. We scan our one item, and we get an error message. I try again, but still get the same error message. An employee comes up to us to help out.)

    Employee: “Can I help you?”

    Me: “Yes, thank you! Every time I scan my item, I keep getting this error message.”

    Employee: “Oh! You have to scan your store card.”

    Me: “I will, but I can’t get past this error.”

    Employee: “No, sorry, you have to scan your store card first.”

    (The employee scans the store card, then our item, and it works.)

    Me: “Thanks! I never would’ve figured that out!”

    Fiancé: *to me* “They should put up a sign, or something.”

    (The employee gestures to the TWO signs in front of us that explain all store cards need to be scanned first.)

    Me: “Oh, my God! After years of not working in retail, I’ve turned into one of those customers.”

    Employee: “Oh, it’s okay. You didn’t blame me for it, so you’re still a step ahead!”

    Free Food Ends Up Costing More


    In the video, recorded on the woman’s cellphone, she tells the employee behind the counter (not the employee she is there to complain about) that her experience the previous evening was not good and that she’s there to get what she believes she is owed, a free meal. She complains about not being given a receipt for her purchase and says she is thereby entitled to free food. She tells the employee several times she is recording everything they’re doing and going to put it online.

    Read the full story.

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