Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Calling At All Stations To The 19th Century
    (1,535 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Archive for 2013

    Jump to page:

    History Is Never Old News

    | Barrington, RI, USA | History, Technology, Top

    (I am working in the print department of an office-supply store. An older customer comes in with a folder of very old newspaper articles.)

    Customer: “Hello, young lady. I was just wondering if you could make some copies of these articles for me. They are getting old and I would like to preserve them.”

    Me: “Of course!”

    Customer: “Thank you very much. If you don’t mind, I’m going to go look around while you do this.”

    (I agree, and he hands me the articles. I can see that it is an article about a man who was killed during World War Two. In one of the articles, it shows a picture of the deceased man holding a baby. As the customer has requested, I make copies of the articles that are beginning to fray, rip, and yellow. After making the copies, I quickly laminate them in order to keep them really preserved. The customer comes back.)

    Me: “So you know, sir, I noticed that the articles you had were starting to rip, and I assumed that was why you were making the copies. When I finished the copies, I laminated them for you.”

    Customer: “I appreciate that young lady, but I can’t afford the lamination.”

    Me: “I like history, and I think historical documents are very important to keep. The lamination is free of charge!”

    (The customer begins to cry.)

    Me: “Sir, are you alright?”

    Customer: “Yes, yes. Do you see this baby in this picture? This was me when I was just a few days old. This was the only time my father ever held me before he died. This is all I have to remember him by, and you just helped me to keep them preserved so I can keep his memory alive. Miss, please… can I give you a hug?”

    Me: “Of course!”

    (He gives me the warmest hug I have ever experienced.)

    Customer: “Thank you, miss. You have no idea how happy you just made an old man.”

    (I am also crying, due to the joy I gave this customer by taking two seconds to laminate his articles. After pulling away from him, I notice that my manager is also beginning to cry.)

    Manager: “Sir, these copies are on the store. Have a nice day, and come see us if you ever need anything else.”

    (The customer leaves with a huge smile on his face, and my manager and I are both cheery for the rest of the day. When I arrive at work the next day, I find a small bouquet of flowers sitting on my desk with a note from the customer.)

    Note From The Customer: “I picked these flowers for you from my garden. They aren’t much, but I was hoping I could brighten your day as much as you brightened mine.”

    (I still have that note, along with one of the flowers that I kept and pressed in a scrap book. I will never forget that man, and the father he never knew.)

    Scanning Ahead

    | Helsinki, Finland | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a second-hand store that mainly sells games and consoles, but also some computers and computer accessories. A customer is standing near the scanners, so I go to help him.)

    Me: “Hi there, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need a copier.”

    Me: “Unfortunately we don’t carry those.”

    Customer: “What about these?”

    Me: “Those are scanners.”

    Customer: “You can make copies with those?”

    Me: “In a way, yes. You can scan an image, print it and you’ll have a copy. It’s an okay method if you only need a few copies once in a while. For big volumes it’s not really that great unless you have a really good printer.”

    Customer: “I don’t have a printer.”

    Me: “Well a scanner won’t be a good solution as a copier then, unless you buy a printer also. We don’t carry printers unfortunately, since used printers are very unreliable.”

    Customer: “That is just stupid! What is the point of this copy machine if you need other machines with it also?”

    Me: “That is a scanner. Its purpose is to convert documents and images to a form that a computer can—”

    Customer: “Wait! Why are you talking about computers? I don’t have a computer and I don’t want one! I see what you’re doing. You just want to make me buy useless stuff I don’t need!”

    Me: “I can assure you—”

    Customer: “You can assure me of nothing! I’ll take that one.”

    (The customer points to the cheapest scanner, smiling smugly.)

    Me: “You will have absolutely no use for that without a computer. And I must point out that we are not required to give refunds on functioning products. You really should not buy that.”

    Customer: “I’ll take it!”

    (The customer grabs the scanner and walks towards the check out. I follow him, and before the cashier rings him through I stop him for a moment.)

    Me: “Sir, again I advise you not to buy the scanner, and again I’m informing you we will not be taking it back unless it’s broken. It’s a lot of extra work for taking back functioning products. We need to do some paperwork and test the product again before reselling it. So please, for all our sakes, don’t buy it.”

    Customer: “Here’s the money!”

    (The customer pays and leaves. I put a notice in our system not to take the scanner back unless it’s really broken. A few days later, I’m called from the office to the cash registers, and there he is; the same customer.)

    Customer: “This here piece of s*** you sold me doesn’t work! I want my money back.”

    Me: “How is it broken?”

    Customer: “Completely! It doesn’t do anything!”

    Me: “So I won’t be able to scan anything with it?”

    Customer: “No you won’t!”

    (We have a testing computer set up on the buy-in counter. I go through the process of hooking up the scanner while the customer watches. With a pen I write something on a blank paper, scan it and print out the scan. I hand the two papers to the customer. It says “No refund” on both papers.)

    Me: “Seems to be working fine.”

    (The customer grabs the scanner and storms out. We watch him as he throws the scanner to the pavement and shatters it, jumps into his car, and speeds off.)

    Are You Satisfied?

    A7hpV36502

    You Say Tomato, I Say Epinephrine

    | ON, Canada | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I am on a lunch date with my boyfriend, talking to a waitress.)

    Me: “I’d like no tomatoes on my sandwich please; I am allergic.”

    (This is a lie; it’s just to ensure they don’t end up on my sandwich.)

    Waitress: “Is your allergy mild, major, or severe?”

    Me: “Major.”

    Waitress: “Okay, and you wanted the fries with that? Would you like ketchup or cajun mayo for dipping?”

    Me: “Ketchup.”

    Waitress: “Of course. Our manager may stop by your table to discuss your allergy with you.”

    (The waitress leaves.)

    Me: *to my boyfriend* “Why would the manager talk to me?”

    Boyfriend: “You said you were allergic to tomatoes. But you ordered ketchup with your fries.”

    Me: “…Oh. S***!”

    (I walk up to the waitress, who has just finished talking on the phone.)

    Me: “Was that the manager you were just talking to?”

    Waitress: “Yes.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry; I’m not actually allergic to them. I just wanted to make sure they absolutely didn’t end up there; I despise raw tomato. But then I went and ordered ketchup with my fries, which was really stupid.”

    Waitress: *laughs* “I’ve seen stupider. Don’t worry about it; there won’t be any tomato on your sandwich.”

    Related:
    You Say Potato, I Say Epinephrine

    About To Get Charged For No Charge

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (My boss is helping a customer who is looking for a battery for his digital camera.)

    Boss: “That will be $59.99 plus tax.”

    Customer: “What! That’s crazy! I’ve only had this camera for a week, and the battery is already dead. Are you telling me I’m going to have to spend $60 every time it dies?”

    Boss: “Only a week? The battery might be defective. How long did you leave it on the charger?”

    Customer: “Charger? Um…”

    (The customer grabs his ‘dead’ battery, and heads for the door.)

    Customer: “I was never here.”

    (My boss manages to wait until the customer is out of the store before cracking up.)


    Page 261/477First...259260261262263...Last