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    Archive for 2013

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    A Pleasing Surprise

    | Wildwood, NJ, USA | Language & Words

    (I am the customer in this story. I am on a camping trip at a boardwalk. I approach an ice cream stand.)

    Me: “Hi! Could I please have a cone of mint ice cream?”

    Cashier: “Sure— Wait. Did you say please?”

    Me: “Um. Yes?”

    Cashier: “Wow! I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone else say please!”

    (The cashier turns to a coworker.)

    Cashier: “Hey, [Coworker]. Have you?”

    Coworker: “I don’t think so. Maybe only kids.”

    Cashier: “Thanks! Here’s your ice cream! Have a good day!”

    Me: “Thank you! You, too!”

    Showing Devilish Customers How It’s Done

    | AK, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Religion, Top

    (A particularly angry customer comes through my line. Despite my best and calmest efforts to help, she begins to yell at me in front of the whole line. Among other things, she calls me names, says I don’t deserve to be alive, and then tries to punch me on the top of my head. I have to spend a full twenty minutes in the break room to try and calm down. One of my coworkers has witnessed the whole thing. The very next day, the customer returns, acting like nothing has happened. My coworker suddenly stands in front of customer.)

    Coworker: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “What?! Why?”

    Coworker: “Because yesterday you yelled at and assaulted one of my coworkers until she cried. I believe that’s grounds for a ban from the store. Please get out.”

    Customer: *growing angry* “You can’t do that, you brat!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, three minutes’ worth of security footage and several witnesses says I CAN do that. You will not be welcome here any longer. Leave.”

    Customer: “You can just go to H***, you—”

    Coworker: “I went there once. Now I RULE it. Now GET OUT OF OUR STORE.”

    (By this time three of the managers have arrived to back him up and escort the customer out. She screamed for a little while longer but eventually left, and never came back!)

    A Rather Surprising Problem To Address

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid

    Me: “May I please have your address?”

    Customer: *confused* “Is that… on my bill somewhere?”

    Me: “It’s usually on the front of your house.”

    Quick To Find Fault With Being Quick To Finding Fault

    | Manchester, England, UK | Bizarre, Time

    Me: “Hello. IT Help Desk. [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

    Caller: “Yes. I logged a job the other day. It’s been resolved already, so I’d just like to close it.”

    (I proceed to take the reference number. I load the job up, thinking this will be a quick and easy call.)

    Me: “Okay. That’s all sorted for you. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

    Caller: “Yes. I’d just like to ask. When I phoned the other day and logged this fault, someone came and fixed it five minutes later.”

    Me: “Well I’m… glad to hear that?”

    Caller: “No, but—why, when I wasted all that time trying to get through to you, did no one tell me it had already been logged?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, we have a dozen staff taking hundreds of calls from thousands of users. If you tell us there’s a fault to log we can only take your word for it.”

    (This clearly wasn’t the right answer. The user gets more and more agitated.)

    Caller: “Yes, but, don’t you keep track of these things? Can’t you keep track of all these jobs? Why couldn’t someone have told me?”

    Me: “Ma’am, if you’d told us you didn’t know whether or not it was logged, we could’ve investigated. We could have spent time trying to ascertain if a call had already been made to us regarding the issue. We certainly couldn’t do that as a routine matter for every call we receive.”

    Caller: “I just don’t understand why the person I spoke to didn’t know! My time is very valuable. I’m a very busy person. I wasted a lot of time on that call!”

    (This goes back and forth for a while. We’re reaching the 10 minute mark.)

    Me: “I can only apologise again that we were unaware your fault had already been logged before you called. However, with all due respect, you didn’t know either. It is your printer. Also, even if we had told you, your complaint was about the length of time it took you to get through. It was time you would’ve wasted whether or not we logged your duplicate call. Finally, ma’am, your complaint is that you wasted your valuable time speaking to IT unnecessarily. Yet you’ve been going around in circles about this with me for 10 minutes now. I’m sorry, but I don’t know how else to answer your question. I am happy to hear that we were able to resolve your issue so quickly, though.”

    Caller: *click*

    Poorly Perceived

    | NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Money, Top

    (I work at a restaurant in a very rich town, in which I also live. I am getting my hair done at a ‘posh’ salon when I see one of my regulars from the restaurant sitting in the first chair.)

    Me: “Hello Mrs. [Name]. Good to see you.”

    Customer: “Oh hel— aren’t you my waitress from the place down the road?”

    Me: “Yes, I am. How are you doing today?”

    Customer: “I didn’t know people like you were allowed in a place like this.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    (At this point my stylist comes over to bring me to her station.)

    Customer: *to stylist* “Honey, did you know this girl is a waitress? Are you sure she has enough money to pay? You may want to check before you start serving her.”

    Stylist: “Ma’am, [My Name] has been a client here for two years. She’s very reliable.”

    Customer: “Oh my. What a waste of money. Poor girls like you should not be wasting their money on things like this. Don’t you have a child to care for or something of the like?”

    (At this point everyone in the salon is quite uncomfortable and is staring at the three of us.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry Mrs. [Name]. I actually only work at the restaurant because I don’t like to spend my time being unproductive. You see, I am a college student at [very prestigious college]. I am currently studying to be a biomedical engineer, which I’ll have you know is the second top grossing career currently. And since it seems to matter to you so much, I’m quite financially comfortable! And even if I were a poor waitress, as you so kindly suggested, people are free to do whatever they like with the money they work so hard for! Your husband comes in twice a week to get coffee and sit at our counter and complain about you! So really, Mrs. [Name], I’m very, very sorry for you.”


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