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    Animal-Hating, Manner-less And Bigoted, Oh My

    | NV, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m helping a couple of regulars with finding ingredients for a new recipe. One of them is blind, and has his guide dog with him. Another customer stomps up to us while I am showing them different spices.)

    Customer #1: “Excuse me! I need your help.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, but you’ll have to wait until I’m done helping these gentlemen.”

    Customer #1: “No, I need help now!”

    Me: “Then if you’d like, I can call one of my coworkers over and they can help you.”

    Customer #1: “I don’t want you to call someone else.”

    Me: “Then you will have to wait.”

    (I turn back to the regulars. The rude customer shoves her way between me and them, stepping on the guide dog’s tail in the process. The dog gives a shrill yelp.)

    Me: “Ma’am, please! You could have seriously hurt his dog!”

    (Customer #1 shoves the dog aside with her foot.)

    Customer #1: “I’m the customer! You have to serve me!”

    Regular Customer: “Miss, she has explained to you that she’s busy, and has offered to call someone else to help you. Don’t shout at her, and please don’t abuse my husband’s guide dog.”

    (Customer #1 turns to him. The regular customer has an obvious Italian accent, but he isn’t difficult to understand.)

    Customer #1: “Get out of here, you d*** foreigner! Don’t come back until you learn some f****** English!”

    Me: “Ma’am, he is speaking perfect English. Now if you don’t calm down, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    (Customer #1 shoves me. I lose my balance, and fall. Immediately, the regular customer, who is a well-known boxer in the local area and quite strong, literally picks up customer #1 and carries her out of the store. She screams profanities and slurs at him the whole way. His partner helps me up, and I pay for their spices myself. I also get the guide dog a large steak bone, for when she is out of her harness. The best part? We found out later that the rude customer was wanted for armed robbery, and that she was arrested that day!)

    Hairy Situations Test Your Mettle

    | Rotterdam, The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I have very long hair, which I wear in a tight bun per regulation, and I am quite obviously female. A customer walks up to me, but my back is turned.)

    Customer: “Sir?”

    (I continue my work, thinking she’s talking to a coworker nearby.)

    Customer: “Sir?”

    (I still don’t pay attention, so the customer taps my shoulder.)

    Customer: “Sir?”

    (I turn around.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    (The customer is clearly surprised.)

    Customer: “Sorry! Can you tell me where [item] is?”

    (I point the customer in the right direction. Later on, I’m cleaning one of the registers. The same customer walks up to me.)

    Customer: “Sorry about before. I really thought you were a guy.”

    Me: “That’s okay.”

    Customer: “You should really doing something about that hair. It makes you look too masculine.”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “You look like one of those metal heads.”

    Me: “Since when do metal heads wear their hair in buns?”

    Customer: “Never, but you still look like one!”

    Retail Associate: The Truth

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    Playstation Meets Playboy

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Technology, Underaged

    (It is just after the release of the video game ‘Playboy Mansion’. In Australia, there is surprisingly no required age limit for the game; it comes with a recommendation only for 18+. A customer approaches the counter with a small boy beside her. She is carrying a copy of the game.)

    Me: “Good morning, just that today is it?”

    (I indicate the game, and the customer nods.)

    Customer: “Yup!”

    Me: “I just have to check that you are purchasing this either for yourself, or someone who is over 18. Though there is no legal requirement to be over 18, I must warn it has graphic content and adult themes.”

    Customer: “No, it’s for him, but it’ll be alright. He’s eight, but I’ve said it’s okay.”

    Me: “I must warn you this game is entirely inappropriate for someone so young.”

    (I detail the contents of the game. However, the customer doesn’t bat an eyelid.)

    Customer: “It’s still okay. I’d like to buy it for him.”

    (I cannot bring myself to cater to this customer, so the manager sells the game to her instead. The customer is about to leave, and I approach her.)

    Me: “If you view the game and you’re unhappy, you can return it to us within 30 days for an exchange.”

    (The customer is reasonably pleasant about this but keeps dismissing my concerns. The boy skips off happily with her. Two days later, she returns with the boy in tow again.)

    Customer: “I’ve come to return this game; I need to get something better for him. It’s not right for him at all.”

    Me: “Sure thing. I had a feeling you wouldn’t be happy with it once you saw the content of the game. Sometimes it’s hard to explain just how graphic some of these games can be.”

    Customer: “Nah, the game was fine, but you should have warned us about how much reading he’d have to do. There’s far too much to read, and he’s only eight. His reading’s not that good yet. There really ought to be warning stickers for this sort of thing. Have you got anything easier?”

    High On Coffee, Low On Everything Else

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a small coffee shop outside a shopping center. There is a regular who is known for being very rude and ignorant about his wealth. I am a 17-year-old girl, who has recently got this job.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, welcome to [coffee shop], what woul—”

    Regular: *aggressively* “Coffee!”

    Me: “Okay, what ki—”

    Regular: “Dumb b**** lowlife! I said coffee!”

    Me: “Sir, please don’t use that language here.”

    Regular: “For f***’s sake! This is why I am rich, and you work at a dump like this! Probably so you can buy your drug money!”

    Me: “Sir, I—”

    Regular: “B****! WE SHOULD TAKE ALL YOU LOWLIFES, AND BURY YOU LIKE MAGGOTS!”

    Me: *tearing up* “Sir, plea—”

    Regular: “SHUT UP YOU FILTHY W**** B****! AND MAKE ME MY D*** COFFEE!”

    (My manager comes running out to see what’s going on. Before he can speak up, a small old lady next in line starts speaking.)

    Old Woman: “Now listen here, you ignorant rat! This woman has barely had a chance to speak! If we did what you said, and got rid of the lower classes, who would change your god-d*** diapers, and make you your morning cup of coffee?”

    Regular: “D*** you! I uh…” *turning to me* “I want my coffee, NOW!”

    Manager: “NO, YOU CAN LEAVE MY STORE BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!”

    (The regular turns even more red, and runs out of the store. My manager gives me the rest of the day off, as well as a free meal. The old woman also leaves me a $20 tip!)

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