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    Things I Won’t Miss About The Cafe

    SHOP1

    Discrimi(nation), Part 2

    | AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (The store I work for is run by a Vietnamese family. I am the only Caucasian working there, and the only other non-Vietnamese employee is often mistaken for being Vietnamese because of the color of his skin. We usually work together. A drunk customer comes in. Since law prohibits us from selling to people who are intoxicated, my coworker heads him off.)

    Coworker: “Sorry, sir, you’ve had enough for tonight. We can’t serve you any more.”

    Customer: “F*** you, c****! Get out of my way!”

    Coworker: “Listen, man, there’s no need to get angry here; just go home go to bed. You can start again tomorrow.”

    (The customer stumbles up to me at the till.)

    Customer: “F****** c****, tryin’ ta tell me he won’t serve me.”

    Me: “Sir, we won’t be serving you anymore tonight, or ever again. That word you keep using derogatorily refers to a Chinese person. The owners of this store are from Vietnam.”

    Customer: “Whatever, they should all go back where they come from, starting with that fat f***!”

    (I am trying not to laugh.)

    Customer: “What’s so funny?”

    Me: “The person you just said should go back where he comes from is pure Cree First Nations. His people have been here long before ours. Now I believe I told you we won’t be serving you anymore; get out now.”

    Related:
    Discrimi(nation)

    The Key To Karma

    | VA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (A sour-looking customer comes in to check in. Throughout, I try to remain polite and friendly, but he just grunts and snatches his key out of my hand and goes up to his room. A few minutes later, he storms back in, and flings the keycards at me.)

    Customer: “THESE KEYS DON’T WORK!”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that; maybe I made a mistake keying them.”

    (I check the system.)

    Me: “Huh, these say that they are working. Are you sure that you went to the right room?”

    Customer: “I went to 510!”

    Me: “It says 518.”

    (The customer turns pale, snatches the keys again, and storms off. I don’t hear from him again, so I guess he got the right room. Meanwhile, I get a nasty call from the person who was in room 510, saying that someone had tried to break down her door, screaming!)

    One At A Time

    images

    Please Pay To Make Them Stop

    | ON, Canada | Money, Technology

    Customer: “I’m done doing my copies over there.”

    Me: “Oh, great. Did they turn out okay?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Good.”

    Customer: “Where do I pay?”

    Me: “You paid already.”

    Customer: “No, I didn’t; the machine told me to take my card out.”

    Me: “Yes, the new machine doesn’t require your card to stay in the whole time. The good thing about that is people won’t forget their cards anymore!”

    Customer: “Okay, but I still haven’t paid.”

    Me: “Yes, you have.”

    Customer: “No! I put my card in and then it told me to take it out!”

    Me: “Yes, because it remembers your card. You hit “end session” on the screen when you were finished, right?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Did it ask you if you wanted a receipt?”

    Customer: “Yes. It’s right here. But I want you to print me a new one so you can prove that I’ve paid.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I have a receipt here, but I don’t think it’s true because I didn’t leave my card in.”

    Me: “You don’t have to leave your card in. That receipt will be correct. And the next person’s job will not be charged to your card, because you hit “end session”.”

    Customer: “Okay, but how do I know that this receipt isn’t lying?”

    Me: “Why would it be lying?”

    Customer: “Because my card wasn’t in the machine while I did my copies!”

    Me: “But it’s not supposed to be. That’s how the new machine works. I can print you another receipt over here if you want.”

    (The customer gives me her card, and I print her receipt, which is identical to the one that came out of the copier.)

    Me: “See? It’s the same.”

    Customer: “But how does it know?”

    Me: “I don’t know; it’s just smart I guess!”

    Customer: “No! HOW does it know!? HOW does it work!?”

    Me: “You mean how does the technology work?”

    Customer: “Yes! It’s blowing my mind!”

    Me: “Um, I don’t know how it works; I’m sorry. It will just have to continue to blow your mind.”

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