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    A Taxing Conversation, Part 2

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Money, Top

    Wife: “Can we try filing separately?”

    Me: “You can, but it’s not usually the best idea. You’ll disqualify yourselves from some of the biggest credits. I’ll run it through both scenarios, and see what happens. Who should have the kids on their file?”

    Husband: “Put them on hers.”

    (I run the return both ways. It takes about fifteen or twenty minutes, since they each have multiple jobs.)

    Me: “Okay, taken jointly, you’re getting $[amount]. Separately you, sir, need to pay $[amount] and you, ma’am get $[amount] back.”

    Wife: “Hmm. Put the kids on his return.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (10 minutes later…)

    Me: “Now, he has to pay less, and you get back less. Jointly is still the better option.”

    Wife: “How about if he has one kid, and I have two kids?”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (Five minutes pass.)

    Me: “Jointly is still better.”

    Wife: “Okay, reverse it please. Him with two kids, and me with one.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (Five minutes pass.)

    Me: “Jointly is still better. But this other person you’ve talked about…”

    Husband: “Our niece?”

    Me: “Right, let me check some info out with you; she might qualify as another dependent.”

    (10 minutes of interviews, and calling for info later…)

    Me: “Yep. She qualifies as another dependent, and now you’re joint refund would look like—”

    (The program glitches in a funny way. I have never seen this before.)

    Me: “Hmm, let me call over the manager real quick.”

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Me: “The file glitched. I’ve been running different scenarios for them, and the husband’s file is giving me weird data and won’t let me delete it.”

    Manager: “Can you restart a file with the wife as lead tax payer?”

    Me: “I can do that, but they haven’t decided if they’re going to file joint or separate. I was just trying to get the results of the latest scenario, when it glitched.”

    Manager: “Re-enter for the wife, and I’ll try to fix this file in case they want to file that way.”

    Me: “All right.”

    (Five minutes later…)

    Me: “Okay, your joint refund is now even higher.”

    Wife: “Can you try it separately, with me having three dependents, and my husband’s one?”

    Husband: *groans*

    (The next day…)

    Coworker: “Why is there a biohazard sticker on this return file?”

    Related:
    A Taxing Conversation

    They Don’t Know Jack

    | London, England UK | Extra Stupid, History, Movies & TV

    (While working at an artefact exhibit for the RMS Titanic, I am standing by a list of all passengers and crew on board. The list is broken down by class and survived or lost. )

    Customer: “This list is wrong. I can’t seem to find Rose’s or Jack’s name.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Rose DeWitt-Bukater, and Jack Dawson. I looked everywhere in the list, and they’re not there.”

    Me: “No, they wouldn’t be.”

    Customer: “Well that’s stupid. Rose should be in the first class list, and Jack should be in the third class. This is wrong.”

    Me: “Because they’re not real.”

    Customer: “No, I’m pretty sure they were.”

    Me: “And I’m definitely sure they were not.”

    Customer: “Well in the movie—”

    Me: “In the MOVIE, Rose gives them a fake name and tells them she’s in third class. She would be listed as Rose Dawson if she existed. And Jack won his ticket in the first ten minutes of the movie, so his name would have not been on a record anywhere, which the movie pointed out in the first five minutes. And it’s a movie.”

    Customer: “Next you’re going to tell me the Heart Of The Ocean is fake too!”

    Me: “Yes, I am.”

    Customer: “Then what did I spend £20 on? What a waste of money!”

    Guy On The Corner

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    Weekly Roundup: Mobile Madness!

    | Not Always Right | Roundups, Technology

    Weekly Roundup: Mobile Madness! In this week’s roundup, we share five stories about customers and their cellphones!

    1. At Least It’s Hands-Free Now (2,146 thumbs up)
    2. Hit A Wall With This Caller (2,818 thumbs up)
    3. Daddy Meets Miss Demeanor (2,019 thumbs up)
    4. This Phone-y Claim Doesn’t Ring True (1,938 thumbs up)
    5. A Rude A-Blabbering (2,212 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    More Than You Bargained For, Part 5

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

    Customer: “Just this DVD please.”

    Me: “Okay, that will be $5.35.”

    Customer: “No, I found this in the $3 DVD bin; it’s $3!”

    (There are two DVD bins, one for $5 DVDs, and one for $3 ones. All DVDs have a sticker clearly showing their price.)

    Me: “Well, sir, it could have been placed their by another customer, but it is still $5.”

    Customer: “That is bull-s***! I don’t care what another customer did! I found it in the $3 bin, and I want it for $3!”

    Me: “Sir, if you found a $3 DVD in that $5 bin, would you pay $5 for it?”

    Customer: “F*** no! That’s stupid! Why would you—” *light bulb goes on* “—well, this is still bull-s***!”

    Related:
    More Than You Bargained For, Part 4
    More Than You Bargained For, Part 3
    More Than You Bargained For, Part 2
    More Than You Bargained For

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