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Diabetes Meets Rabies

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(A customer is picking up some diabetic test-strips, and I am ringing him up.)

Me: “How are you doing today, sir?”

Customer: “I’m alright; how about yourself?”

Me: “I’m doing great, thanks. Did you have any questions for the pharmacist?”

(The customer gestures at the test strips, jokingly.)

Customer: “Yeah, do I really have to poke myself for these to work?”

Me: “Yep, I’m afraid so.”

Customer: “Can’t I just poke you instead?”

Me: *laughing* “Sorry, I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way, sir.”

(The customer gestures at my multiple facial piercings.)

Customer: “You look like the type that would enjoy that, though.”

Me: “Your doctor might have a problem with that, though.”

(When a customer picks up a prescription, they’re required by law to sign, stating that they’ve received it. Our pharmacy does this through an electronic prompt. The customer looks at it.)

Customer: “What’s this?”

Me: “It’s just a way to say that you’ve gotten your prescription. That way there’s no confusion later. It’s as much for your protection as ours really.”

Customer: “Well what happens if I don’t sign it?”

Me: “Then unfortunately, we’re not allowed to give you your prescriptions.”

Customer: “WELL I GUESS I’M NOT GETTING ANYTHING TODAY!”

(The customer THROWS the electronic pen across the counter, hitting me in the face. He turns, and practically skips away. The pharmacist and I aren’t sure if he is joking, but by the end of the day he still hasn’t come back!)

A Gruel-ing Customer, Part 2

| OR, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Money

(I am the supervisor on duty at a soup and sandwich shop. It is in the evening, so we are very slow. I am counting down one of the tills, while my coworker is ringing up a customer. The customer completes his order, and it is handed out to him a few minutes later.)

Customer: *to my co-worker* “Um, miss, I ordered soup, and there is no soup in here.”

(My coworker pulls up the receipt to double-check, though we both know he did not order any soup.)

Coworker: “I apologize; you did not order the soup. However, I can have it out to you in just a moment. I’ll add it to your sandwich so you will only have to pay the combo price of one dollar for it.”

Customer: “I don’t have enough money for that. I think I should get it free.”

(My coworker glances at me awkwardly, so I decide to step in.)

Me: “Sir, she is just adding on the amount you would have paid had you included the soup in your first order. If you order a sandwich, soup is just a dollar extra. So she is only charging you what you would have been charged in the first place.”

Customer: “I understand that, but it wasn’t in my first order so I shouldn’t have to pay for it. Plus I don’t have enough to pay for it.”

Me: “Sir, I was standing here for your entire order. No one else has ordered since you. While I understand it was a simple mistake, you did not order soup. However, we are not charging you full price which would be $2.50 for a cup of soup; we are charging you a dollar. So to be fair, you are still getting the same deal you would have gotten.”

Customer: “Right. But I only have the $7.50 for the sandwich.”

Me: “…so no matter what, you wouldn’t have been able to afford the soup?”

Customer: “Right. But you didn’t include it in the first order, so I want it free.”

Me: “But if you had ordered it in your first order, you wouldn’t have been able to afford it. We would not have been able to include it anyway.”

Customer: “Look. This isn’t hard. I just want the soup for free.”

Me: “I’m just supposed to give you soup free because you can’t afford it?”

Customer: “Will it help if I tell you my friend is sick, and she really wants this soup?”

Me: “Not at this point, sorry.”

Customer: “Fine, whatever…”

Related:
A Gruel-ing Customer

Smart Fake Caller

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The Female Of The Species Is More Playful Than The Male

| Anchorage, AK, USA | Rude & Risque

(Our store has a name that could easily be that of an adult establishment. I happened to be in the back room when a customer calls.)

Me: “[Store Name], how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, do you have any male toys?”

Me: “‘Mail’ as in toys that go in the mail, or toys for boys?”

Caller: “Toys that go in the mail.”

Me: “Well, we have a toy that can be sent like a postcard, otherwise—”

Caller: “No, not toys that go in the M-A-I-L, toys that go in the M-A-L-E!”

Me: “Uh… we sell children’s toys.”

Caller: “Oh, oh darn! We’re looking for adult toys!”

(The customer yells to someone not on the line.)

Caller: “Hey Billy, they don’t have ’em!”

Me: “Good luck in your search!”

(I am very glad it was me who answered, and not my younger, more innocent coworker!)

No Catches Get Pasteurize

| WI, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

(Our store sells pints of ice cream.)

Customer: “I’ll take three pints of vanilla.”

Me: “Well, we currently have a special running, so you can have four pints for the price of three. What would you like for your fourth pint?”

Customer: “So if I get one more pint it won’t cost me any more money?”

Me: “Yep!”

Customer: “Well, I don’t do deals. It’s obvious that if you buy something on sale it’s because the original price is already inflated. So I only buy things at regular price.”

Me: “Umm, well it would be the same price, so it would be a better value to have four.”

Customer: “Well, I know there’s some catch somewhere! Only give me three.”

Me: “Umm, okay, as you wish.”

Customer: “Good! I won’t have you ripping me off!”

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