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Clever And Original

Meme1

He Must Be Baked

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am with my family at a Chinese restaurant. My father has kept the waitress at our table for at least five minutes, trying to order what he wants. He is mostly speaking about the food itself, and then moving on. He finally thinks of something he wants.)

Father: “Oh. I’ll have the salty fried pork with pepper. Do you have that?”

Waitress: “No, but we have similar.”

(My brother slides the menu to our father, and points at the baked salted pork.)

Waitress: “You’ll have that?”

Brother: “Yes, he will.”

Father: “Wait, so not peppered?”

Waitress: “No pepper.”

Father: “Oh, okay, so it’s salty fried pork. I’ll have that.”

Waitress: “It’s salted baked pork.”

Father: “Yes, yes, I understand, but it’s fried right?”

Waitress: “Baked.”

Father: “Fried?”

Waitress: “Baked.”

Father: “Fried?”

Waitress: “Baked.”

Father: “Fried?”

Waitress: “Baked.”

Father: “Fried?”

Waitress: “Yes.”

Sewing The Seeds of Anger

| Belgium | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I started sewing a few years ago, and got good enough at it to make most of my clothes myself, which has resulted in a wardrobe consisting of some unusual prints. A regular customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “I love your dress! You’re always wearing such special clothes! Do tell me where you shop!”

Me: “Actually, I made this one myself. Thanks for the compliment!”

Customer: “Really? That’s great! Can you make one for me?”

Me: “Um… I have never made anything for someone else, and besides, I don’t have any of this fabric left, so I’m afraid I can’t do that!”

(The customer suddenly gets angry.)

Customer: “Now that’s just rude! Why would you do that? You’re just making pretty clothes for yourself so you can tell other people they will never have them!”

(The customer slams the money on the counter, and leaves in a huff.)

Playing Gameboys

| IL, USA | Family & Kids, Technology

(I am in my local video game store, picking up a copy of ‘Devil May Cry’. I am the only female in the store, and since I can’t see well enough to get a driver’s license, my father has driven me here. The store is really busy, so after plucking a copy from the shelf, I browse for a bit. A little boy approaches me.)

Boy: “Is that for your dad?”

Me: “No, this is for me.”

(The boy’s eyes widen in surprise.)

Boy: “You play video games?”

Me: “Yes, I do.”

Boy: “But you’re a GIRL!”

Me: “So? Girls play video games too, honey.”

Boy: “But you like girly games, right?”

Me: “Actually, no. I hate girly games. I prefer action games and action RPGs, like Devil May Cry, Castlevania, Final Fantasy, and Kingdom Hearts.”

(The little guy’s eyes widen so much that I’m expecting them to pop out of his head. He turns to face his mother.)

Boy: “Mom! Mom! There’s a girl that likes video games!”

(The mom hurriedly grabs her son, checks out their games, and practically runs from the store. As soon as the door shuts behind them, everyone inside cracks up.)

Store Clerk: *still laughing* “But you’re a GIRL!”

Please Mind The Gap Between The Bigot And All Reason

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Bigotry, Top, Transportation

(My partner and I are on the escalators in a train station leading to the platforms. We are standing to one side to let people through on the other. An older woman is standing on the other side, blocking the way for rushing people. Two younger women approach.)

Young Woman: “Um, excuse me, miss, could you please move over? We’re running late for our train.”

(The older woman sniffs and looks offended, but neither moves nor acknowledges them.)

Young Woman: “Ma’am, could you move? We need to get home, and another train doesn’t come for half an hour.”

(She tries to get around the woman, still to no avail.)

Older Woman: “What do you brats think you’re doing? I’m an older citizen, and you don’t belong here. Look at you, you little [racial slur], with your tiny shorts, and boobs everywhere!”

(The older woman continues her tirade for 10 seconds, before I’m fed up.)

Me: “Look lady, move over and shut up. You’re obviously on the wrong side of the escalator, and you aren’t their mother. Move. Now!”

(She moves, and both the girls smile, say thanks, and keep running. She now turns her foul mouth on me, even as I step off the escalator and head for the platforms, hand in hand with my partner.)

Older Woman: “Nasty b****! You came here on a boat too, did you? Defending all that filth!”

(I just smile at the two girls, who have just stopped, and are speaking to the guard. They point at the woman, and we watch as she’s removed from the station.)

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