November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

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Dancers In The Dark Coffee

| USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

(A young customer woman in ballet shoes comes running into the shop. She looks exhausted.)

Customer: “I’m so sorry; this is going to be a really big order.”

(She starts to rattle off a huge order. Being the only barista, I start on them as soon as she done ordering. While making the coffees, a regular walks in.)

Customer: “I’m so sorry; she’ll probably be a little bit. I have really big order.”

(The regular just scoffs, and stands at the register. I focus on the drinks I’m making.)

Regular: “Hey!”

Me: “I’ll be there in just a moment; I want to make sure all of her—”

Regular: “Forget her f****** order! She and her little friends will just waste the damn drinks. Dancers, bah.”

Customer: “Excuse me?!”

Regular: “You heard me. All you stupid little girls thinking that they’re an athlete because they can f****** dance!”

(The customer takes a few steps back.)

Customer: “Right, it’s so easy. Then how about you follow me.”

(She bends backwards, practically touching her ankles. She slides back up, before standing on point. She brings one leg up and begins to spin on one foot, in place. She does it a few more times, before smirking at my regular. Still on point.)

Customer: “Your turn.”

(The regular scoffs, and huffs about the register until the order is finished.)

Air Conditioning The Customers



A Mother Goes Out Of Her Way To Get In The Way

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

(I’m about seven years old, shopping with my mom at the grocery store. My mother had stopped to look at something, and I am looking at a display in the center of the aisle. Out of nowhere, a very large old customer nearly rams her cart in to me.)

Old Customer: “You better move out of my way, ’cause I ain’t movin’ for you.”

Me: *terrified* “I’m sorry!”

(I quickly run to my mom.)

Me: “Mommy, I didn’t mean to! I moved as quickly as I could.”

Mom: “You didn’t do anything wrong, but next time someone acts like that; don’t move. You tell them to ask politely.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

(We finish our shopping, and then my mother takes off nearly in a run. She comes to a stop in front of a shopping cart. I see the rude customer.)

Mom: “You better move out of my way, ’cause I ain’t movin’ for you.”

Old Customer: “Excuse me?”

Mom: “You heard me! How dare you act like that in public! How does it make you feel to talk to a seven-year-old that way?”

Old Customer: “But he—”

Mom: “If I ever see you treat my son like that again, you will have to answer to me. I bet you’re probably old and alone, if you’re that rude!”

Old Customer: *walks away in a huff*

A Super-Brew, Iron Grind, And Served Dark (Knight)

| QLD, Australia | Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

(The coffee chain I work at collects money for a children’s charity. Once a month we dress up in costumes; it’s a lot of fun. This month the theme is Superheroes. I’m female, but dressed as Iron Man; there’s also Wonder Woman, Super Girl, and Batgirl.)

Elderly Customer: “Can you actually fly in that get-up?”

Me: “Sure can, but it spills the coffees.”

Male Customer: “Super heroes? Serving coffee? It’s like all my teenage dreams come true! Except for you, Iron Man, cause I don’t swing that way.”

Regular Customer: “Did you get a second job?”

Me: “Yep. Saving the world doesn’t pay the bills.”

RPG = Really Pretentious Gamer

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(It’s a slow day, and there are only two customers in the store. One of the customers, a friend of mine who’s 21, but looks like a high-schooler, comes to the counter with a copy of ‘Halo 4’.)

Friend: “I’d like to buy this, please.”

(Suddenly, the other customer, a guy in his mid-20s, runs up and attempts to rip the game out of my friend’s hands. My friend manages to leap back in time.)

Friend: “Hey, man! What is your problem?”

Customer: “What the f*** are you doing buying that s***? Little whiny b***y kids like you shouldn’t even be touching this!”

Friend: “I’m 21, and even then you could just say that, and not try to grab it from me!”

Customer: “Yeah, well, you shouldn’t be supporting Microsoft anyway! They’re fascist f***s ruining the industry with their generic frat boy s***! It’s a**-holes like you who only encourage them!”

Me: “Okay, that’s enough! If you’re going to continue insulting my friend or his gaming preferences, I’m going to ask you to leave the store.”

Customer: “Hmph! That a**-hole is no gamer! Real gamers play RPGs, not shallow generic First Person Shooters! I would’ve smashed that s*** and laughed in his face!”

(As he storms out, he gives one last parting shot.)

Customer: “When the second crash occurs, it’ll be on your hands!”