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    Thinkless And Thankless

    | MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

    (To make it easier to keep track of how long things have been in our store, the date is printed on their tags along with a corresponding color. Right now we’re running a 50% off sale for almost every tag color except two, and there are multiple signs on our walls telling our customers this. A customer walks in briskly and approaches my counter without even looking at me.)

    Customer: “I don’t want to think today. You’re going to tell me the price of things.”

    Me: “Uh… okay?”

    (The customer shoves a coat in my face.)

    Customer: “How much is this?”

    Me: “Well, what does the tag say?”

    Customer: “I don’t want to think!”

    Me: *looks at tag* “Well, it says that it’s $69. It’s also printed on a mint green tag. That means it’s 50% off right now.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to think about it! How much is that?”

    Me: “Well, half of 70 is 35, so it will be about $35.”

    (The customer leaves the coat on my counter, and walks away in a huff. She then brings up another coat.)

    Customer: “How much is this one?”

    Me: “Well, what does that tag say?”

    Customer: “I don’t know! I don’t want to think about it!”

    Me: “The tag says it’s $99, and since it’s an orange tag, there’s no discount on it today.”

    (The customer throws this coat down on top of the other, then proceeds to bring me a third.)

    Customer: “How much is this one?”

    Me: “Well, what does the tag say?”

    Customer: “I already told you that I don’t want to think about it!”

    (She walks out of my store angrily. Meanwhile, one of the regulars who was in the store and witnessed the entire exchange comes up to me.)

    Regular: “Wow. She didn’t even say thank you.”

    Noisy Complaints Are All-Enveloping

    | Provo, UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Top

    (I am in a rather lengthy line at the post office to buy a bunch of stamps for work; it is early afternoon. An elderly customer behind me is complaining loudly to no one in particular about the wait.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe they’re making us wait like this. It’s the middle of the day; the line shouldn’t be like this! I have places to be!”

    (I glance back at her, but don’t really pay much attention.)

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! They could just open up more lines and get us all through here quickly, but they just make us all wait in line.”

    (When I get to the front of the line, the customer makes a big show of loudly counting all of the closed cashier stands and complaining. I ask the clerk for my stamps, and he goes to the back to get them, as I need more than he has at his station.)

    Customer: “Oh, now one of them is leaving? I can’t believe this!”

    (The customer suddenly walks up to the counter to stand next to me. When the clerk comes back, she speaks up.)

    Customer: “I need to buy these things, now.”

    Me: “Excuse me? He’s still helping me.”

    Customer: “Well, I just need to buy a few things.”

    Me: “So do I. It’ll just be a moment.”

    Customer: “You’re buying a ton of stamps! I just need these envelopes.”

    (I finally pay enough attention to realize what she’s holding: several flat rate envelopes.)

    Me: “Ma’am, those are free.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “You can take those for free. You just have to pay the postage when you bring them back in.”

    (The customer looks at the clerk, who nods.)

    Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?! Someone should have told me sooner!”

    Me: “It’s written all over the stand you grabbed them from.”

    (The customer looks back at the stand, and sees that I’m right. She then leaves in a huff, complaining about the post office wasting her time.)

    Not So Rewarding

    | Calgary, AB, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    Me: “And do you have your rewards card with you today?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes, it’s in here somewhere…”

    (The customer proceeds to open and search through their purse while I wait.)

    Me: “I can take your phone number, if that’s more convenient.”

    Customer: “No, no! I can find it; it won’t take a moment.”

    (The customer keeps looking as the line grows longer.)

    Me: “I’d be perfectly happy with a phone number.”

    Customer: “You young people are so impatient these days!”

    (My line has now grown by at least five customers, who are starting to look restless. The customer is searching her wallet.)

    Me: “You’d be able to leave much quicker if you’d—”

    Customer: “Oh, for goodness sake! Do you really think I’ll just give your my phone number that easily? That’s personal information! How do I know you won’t call me later trying to sell me something I don’t need?”

    (I am speechless.)

    Customer: “Oh… you know what? I think my husband has the card; he was going to use it tomorrow. My phone number is [number]!”

    A Thick Slice Of Humble Pie, Part 2

    | MO, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money

    (I’m working at the cash register of a pizza place. A customer storms in and demands his pizza.)

    Me: “Sorry, sir, it seems I don’t have anything in here by that name or phone number. Are you sure you called the right store?”

    Customer: “YES! The person who took my order refused to honor this coupon, and so I hung up on them!”

    Me: “Well, sir, that’s probably why it isn’t in here. Should I place a new order?”

    Customer: “Fine! But I want it delivered to my house!”

    (The customer proceeds to place the order, as more customers are lining up and watching the spectacle. I read him the final total.)

    Customer: “That’s not the total! What is wrong with you people?! Can’t anyone do math? It says here I get two pizzas for $11.95.”

    Me: “Actually sir, it’s two pizzas for $11.95 each. Do you still want to place the order?”

    (Everyone is watching at this point. The customer throws the coupon at me.)

    Customer: “WHAT DOES THIS SAY?”

    Me: “Two pizzas for $11.95 each, no limit, expires [date].”

    (The customer’s tail is between his legs, and he’s red with embarrassment. With an entire crowd watching, he reluctantly mumbles and pays the bill.)

    Related:
    A Thick Slice Of Humble Pie

    How???

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