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    Archive for 2013

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    The Race Card Is Double Sided

    | Mobile, AL, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (My husband and I are new to the area. We are trying out a popular fried chicken restaurant that is on a side of town primarily occupied by black people. I am white, and my husband is Mexican.)

    Me: “This chicken is great!”

    Husband: “Yeah, but it’d be better with some hot sauce! I’ll go get some!”

    (I slide out of the booth we are in to let him out. As I step back I accidentally bump another patron who is walking back up front to refill his drink. He drops his cup.)

    Me: “Oops! I’m sorry!”

    Customer: *glaring at me* “What’s wrong with you? You in the wrong side of town. You think you can hit me just cuz I’m black?! Racist b****!”

    (My husband is about to intervene, but I speak up.)

    Me: “You think you can say that just because I’m white?”

    Customer: *long pause* “…say what?”

    Me: “You think you can claim I’m racist just because I’m white?”

    Customer: “I… you… what?”

    Me: “Seeing as how my husband is Mexican, I don’t think you can cry racism on this one, man. Nice try.”

    (I pick up his cup and get a whiff of what he was drinking.)

    Me: “What were you drinking? Sprite?”

    Customer: “…yeah.”

    (I go refill his drink for him and hand it back to him with a smile on my face.)

    Me: “There ya go.”

    Customer: “You pretty nice, for a cracker.”

    Me: “You’re pretty nice, for someone so ignorant. Racism works both ways, man. Don’t let it—”

    Customer: “—yeah. Okay. Sorry.”

    (Thankfully, my husband and I finish our meals without any more interruptions.)

    An Old Hack And A Credit Card Hack

    | Huntsville, AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

    (A customer approaches one of my coworkers.)

    Coworker: “Hi! Welcome to [Pizza Place]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I need to speak with your manager. NOW.”

    (Being the manager, I step in.)

    Me: “Hi. I’m the manager. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “YOU’RE the manager? How old are you? 12?”

    Me: “I’m 24, sir. How may I help you?”

    Customer: *sighs very loudly* “I have a problem. I think my daughter’s credit card was hacked or something. A charge that she doesn’t recognize showed up on the bill. This is the address that showed up for the charge.”

    Me: “The address here actually covers the entire strip mall, sir; not just this store. We have a suite number. The name of the pizza place always shows up on our credit card charges.”

    Customer: “My daughter and her mother are going to other stores to ask them about the charge. It would really help me if I could make sure the charge didn’t come from your store.”

    Me: “I’d be happy to try to help you, sir. Can you give me the date and amount for the charge?”

    Customer: “Sure. It’s [date and amount].”

    Me: “I’m afraid I don’t have any orders from that day that are for that amount.”

    Customer: “Whoever stole her card number probably left a tip or something.”

    Me: “Sir, we add the tip to the order in the system so we can give cash to our drivers at the end of the night. The total should match exactly.”

    Customer: “Maybe you didn’t add it or something!”

    Me: “Okay. If you’ll give me the last four digits of your daughter’s card number, I can check the batch report.”

    Customer: “I don’t feel comfortable doing that. Can I just see the batch report so I can check for her card number?”

    Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that, sir. There are other credit card numbers in that batch report.”

    Customer: “So? It’s not like I’m going to steal the card numbers or anything.”

    Me: “I’m sure you wouldn’t, sir. But I still can’t show you the report. Since you won’t give me the last four digits of your daughter’s card number, I don’t think I can help you. I suggest you call the company that issued the credit card to dispute the charge. They should be able to remove it and issue your daughter a new card.”

    Customer: “NO! I DEMAND TO SEE YOUR BATCH REPORT RIGHT NOW! MY DAUGHTER’S CARD WAS HACKED. I HAVE A RIGHT TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I can’t help you. You need to leave, please.”

    Customer: “F*** YOU, B****!”

    (The customer leaves after flipping me off. I call the cops. They find him screaming at another manager in a store several doors down. Ironically, it turns out the guy had several outstanding warrants for identity theft and credit card fraud!)

    A Retail Employee

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    We Wish You A Merry Saturnalia

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | History, Holidays, Religion, Themed Giveaway

    (I worked in a local retail store while in high school and college. A week before Halloween, I notice a regular customer riding in one of our electric carts, staring at the Halloween costumes and props. She is there for some time. I decide to ask if she needs help.)

    Customer: “St. Michael the Archangel defend us in battle—”

    (As a Catholic, I recognize she is praying.)

    Me: “Ma’am, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Only if you can replace all this evil with Christmas stuff.”

    Me: “Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner. One more week!”

    (The customer then goes into a rant about what Halloween means to Wiccans and pagans. Then she gives a thorough lesson in Tartarus and other mythologies. She invites me to help her host a Bible study for her good Christian neighbors, which is her alternative to dressing up and ‘worshipping demons.’ By this time, my manager thinks I’m just goofing around and is coming towards me to say something. The customer stands up, grabs my arm and raises it into the air while using her other arm to throw costumes, props, and wigs out into the aisle. My manager seems to understand what is happening. After getting her to stop protesting, he turns to me.)

    Manager: “Thank you for not telling her about the origins of gift giving on Christmas.”

    Hard Core Herbivore

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (It’s towards the end of the lunch rush. I am washing dishes in the back of our café. I overhear an exchange between a customer and a coworker.)

    Customer: *very politely* “Could I have a vegetarian pastie, please?”

    Coworker: “I’m very sorry, but I’ve just sold the last one.”

    Customer: “So, there’s no vegetarian pasties?”

    Coworker: “No, I’m sorry. But maybe you’d like to try—”

    Customer: “FINE! I GUESS I’LL JUST F****** STARVE THEN!” *storms out*


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