Archive for 2013

Jump to page:

Trouble Brewing, Part 5

| Champaign, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

(I am working the Friday night shift at a gas station located on the campus of a big university. The city’s liquor law prohibits the sale of alcohol after midnight. I’m working by myself at 3 am, when a customer with a look of urgency and intoxication comes barging right in.)

Customer: “Dude, I have a huge party at my apartment and we just ran out of beer! I need like six cases!”

Me: “Sorry, buddy, but we stop selling alcohol at midnight.”

Customer: “I’m desperate! There are like 100 people at my place, and a ton of hot b*****! If I don’t get more beer soon, they’ll leave! I’ll give you a $20 tip if you sell me some.”

Me: “Sorry, even if I were to try to sell you some, I couldn’t since our registers also block all sales of alcohol after midnight.”

Customer: “How about if I just walk out with two cases, and ‘accidentally’ drop $40 on the ground on my way out?”

Me: “That would be stealing, and I’m not okay with that.”

Customer: “Okay, what if I stuck my hand in my pocket, and pretended to have a gun…”

(The customer proceeds to stick hand in his jacket pocket and make it look like he’s holding me at gunpoint.)

Customer: “…and ‘robbed’ you for some cases of beer. Then you would chase me out, and while chasing me outside, I would ‘accidentally’ drop $40?”

Me: “I couldn’t let you do that either. First of all, I would be required to immediately call the police and file a police report for a robbery. The police would then get your face from the store cameras, easily track you down since you live close by, and put you in jail. Is this party worth going to jail over?”

Customer: “I’m sorry for bothering you dude. I really don’t have a gun. I just wanted to get some beer for this party really bad, and didn’t want to come back empty handed. Please don’t call the cops!”

Me: “I’ll forget this even happened if you leave immediately.”

Customer: “See ya!”

Me: “Bye!”

Related:
Trouble Brewing, Part 4
Trouble Brewing, Part 3
Trouble Brewing, Part 2

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 10

| Finland | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m chatting with my friend in a grocery store, completely minding my own business. Another customer approaches us.)

Customer: “Can you please help me to find [item]?”

Me: “Umm… I don’t know where to find it…”

Customer: “It’s pretty much like this, but a different shape and brand.”

(The customer holds up another item, and continues talking for a while. I’m trying to interrupt her, but she’s giving me the exact specs and some more.)

Me: “I’m sorry; but I don’t work here. Unfortunately I have no idea where to find it.”

(She looks at me with a puzzled look on her face. At this point I realize that my shirt is red, and not completely unlike the uniform that the shop assistants are required to wear.)

Customer: “Are you sure? You look like you work here.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m quite certain. Please read the back of my shirt. The store wouldn’t probably accept the message, would they?”

(My shirt is from a local rap artist with a slogan that translates to “steal from your boss”.)

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 9
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

Beauty Is In The Eyeglasses Of The Beholder

| Robeline, LA, USA | Bizarre, Love/Romance

(A customer approaches the counter with a soda just as I’m wiping my eyeglasses.)

Customer: “No!”

Me: “Sorry? No what?”

Customer: “No! You’ve got to put your glasses back on!”

Me: “Yeah, I know. I’ve got to wear them because I’m nearly blind.”

(I slide my glasses back on.)

Customer: “No, it’s just that you’re much too pretty without them. You’re better off if you keep them on.”

Me: “…What?”

Customer: “Yes, you have to keep them on or the men will be hitting on you in droves! You’ll have to have a stick to beat them off!”

(I hold up my left hand and point to my promise ring.)

Me: “No, this usually stops ’em cold.”

Customer: “NO! The glasses are what stops them!”

Me: “Okay… So, that’ll be $1.77, sir.”

(The customer pays and returns to normal. However, as he walks out the door…)

Customer: “I’M TELLING YOU IT’S THE GLASSES!”

UK Needs UV

| San Jose, CA, USA | Geography, Health & Body

(I am working at trade show booth. I have very fair skin and often get remarks about it. I have been chatting with a fellow American customer for nearly 10 minutes.)

Me: “Thanks so much for stopping by! I hope you enjoy the magazine. Did you have any other questions for me?”

Customer: “No, no, thank you! Well, wait … are you British?”

Me: “What? Ah, no… no I’m not.”

Customer: “Really!? But…but you’re so PALE!”

The Convergence Of Kindnesses

| UT, USA | Awesome Customers, Love/Romance, Military, Top

(I am tending to my customers’ needs, and watching the front door. A customer enters and asks for a table. I seat him and get him a cup of coffee.)

Customer: “How far is it to Quebec?”

Me: “I honestly have no idea, sir. But, if you don’t mind my asking, why are you heading there?”

Customer: “Well, I have to be at work by tomorrow, and I’m sure I would have made it if the tire hadn’t come off my truck.”

(He looks over the menu, orders, and receives his meal. As I am putting in another order on the computer, the father of the family seated at the table beside the other man approaches me.)

Father: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Yes, sir? Is there something I can help you with?”

Father: “Has the man beside us ordered yet?”

(The customer with the car problems is clearly of East Indian descent, and I immediately fear that this other man is about to make some racist comment.)

Me: “Is there some kind of problem, sir?”

Father: “No, not at all. But I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind putting his dinner on our bill.”

(I am pleasantly surprised by this, and get into the computer to add the unfortunate customer’s check to the families. The family leaves soon after. When I next check on the customer, he has finished eating.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can do for you tonight, sir?”

Customer: “No, I’m fine, thanks. Just the bill, if you please.”

Me: “Well, sir, I’m pleased to say that the family seated beside you earlier asked to pick up your bill.”

Customer: “Did they really?”

Me: *smiling* “Yes.”

Customer: *smiling* “You know, it really makes me glad to know that there are still good, kind people in the world. It gives you hope.”

(Not having anything else to do, I take some time to sit and listen to the man, as he’s expressed a desire to tell me why he’s on his way to Quebec. After having served as a soldier for some time, he grew tired of feeling as though he were living a double life, having to keep secrets from his loved ones so as to fulfill his duties. He then decided to leave the service, receiving a dishonorable discharge and losing nearly everything he owned in the process. During his time of service, he lived in Quebec and met a young woman who befriended him and showed him that there was more to life than simply having money and material possessions. The two of them ended up in a relationship that was cut short because of his constant dedication to his duties, and she claimed that it had grown hard to trust him.)

Customer: “So, I’m heading back to Quebec to see her. I have nothing left to lose but her, and I’m going to take up a job as a mechanic, get a place for the two of us, and ask her to marry me.”

(At this point, I am nearly in tears.)

Customer: “But that’s where I’m unsure. I don’t know if she’ll want to marry someone like me.”

(We talk a bit more, and I tell him that, in the time I’ve spent listening and chatting with him, he seems like a very good person, and that giving up his pension and career in the service for this woman speaks very strongly about his character. After a while, he goes out to his truck, and returns with a coin.)

Customer: “I told them that I didn’t care. I told them that I was tired of living a lie. They laughed in my face and gave me this. They told me to find someone who gave a s***.”

(The customer hands me a foreign coin and smiles.)

Customer: “So those are the words I live by: ‘Find something to give a s*** about’.”

(As he walks to the door, he thanks me, and I wish him all the luck in the world. This night at work really emphasized two things for me: A little kindness goes a long way, and if you give a s*** about something, you won’t give up on it. Whoever you are, sir, I truly wish you the best. I hope that the woman you love sees just how much you care about her, and that the two of you can spend your lives together. And to the man who paid for his meal, I will never forget the kindness you offered to another in need.)

Page 227/477First...225226227228229...Last