(I’m deaf in one ear, and what makes it worse at this time is that I have an ear infection. This makes it extremely difficult to take customer’s drinks correctly, especially if they are saying them very fast. I have only asked this customer once to repeat what the milk and syrup were.)

Customer: “Why do they have the least experienced person taking orders? How many times do I have to repeat myself?!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am; I’m hearing impaired. I was only asking once again to make sure I charged you correctly and that your drink won’t be made wrong.”

Customer: *flustered* “Well, then you should have to wear a sign or something to let people know that you can’t hear.”

(The next customer in the queue chimes decides to chime in.)

Next Customer: “Yeah, because the poor girl probably doesn’t feel embarrassed enough about having you yell at her and having to put up with a**holes like you.”

Customer: “Excuse me?! How dare you! Forget my drink! I’ll just go somewhere else!”

(The customer storms out.)

Next Customer: “Wow, I’m so sorry about that. Do people normally act like that here?”

Me: “She’s a regular…”

(A customer approaches the cash desk with a console in a box.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking to trade this in?”

Me: “Sure, let me just make sure it works!”

(I open the box, only to find the entire console, wires, and control pads are covered in heavy condensation. It’s so heavy, that there are drops of water pouring down the system.)

Me: “Umm …I don’t think I can plug this in to check it.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Well, it’s soaking wet. Generally speaking, it’s not a good idea to combine water and electricity.”

Customer: “Ah, it’s just a tiny bit of condensation. I had it in the car overnight; that’s why.”

Me: “I still don’t think it’s safe, sir.”

Customer: “Go ask your manager; he’ll tell you it’s fine!”

(I decide to humor him, and take the console out back to the manager.)

Me: “So I’ve got this customer for trade in, and he wants me to plug this thing in and check it.”

Manager: *not looking up* “So what’s the problem?”

Me: “I think you should have a look and see what the problem is!”

Manager: *looks at the console* “Is he for real?!”

(The manager picks up the console, and it almost slips out of his hands from the liquid on the surface. He heads out to the customer and deals with him.)

Manager: “We can’t accept this for trade in. Sorry about that.”

Customer: “Ah, why not!? It’s only a tiny bit of condensation; I don’t know what the problem is!”

Manager: “Well, if you’re happy to plug in electronics that are dripping with water, be my guest, but you’ll be a candidate for the Darwin Awards if you do. I’m not happy to risk the personal safety of my employees just for a trade in.”

(The customer looks at the console again.)

Customer: “And what if I come back in 10 minutes, and it’s dry?”

Manager: “I think that’d be something of a miracle, don’t you?”

(I work in a small specialty retail shop. It is the beginning of the day, so we only have $70 in each of the two cash registers, mostly change with a handful of $5 and $1 bills. Two customers come in and browse around, getting only a few small items each. They are the first customers of the day on my register. The first one gives me a $20 bill for a $4.79 purchase. I put the bill on top of the drawer, and count the change back to her.)

Customer: “You’re giving me the wrong change. I gave you a $50 bill.”

(I haven’t closed the register, and am just putting the $20 in its slot, so I show the customer the bill.)

Me: “No, you gave me a $20 bill, right here.”

Customer: “No, I know I gave you a $50 bill.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it was a $20 bill. You’re my first customer, and this is the only $20 bill, and there are no $50 bills at all.”

Customer: “You must have put it into the safe slot.”

Me: “We don’t have one of those. Here, have a look.”

(I pull the drawer out, and show the customer the contents and the space underneath it.)

Me: “There’s no $50 bill anywhere. And no other bills over $5.”

(The customer’s friend decides to intervene.)

Customer’s Friend: “Don’t worry; it’s okay.”

(They exchange looks, and the first customer rolls her eyes.)

Customer: “Okay then, well, no point in making a scene about it.”

Me: “Thank you.”

(I check out the friend’s small purchase, who gives me a $50 bill. I give her the change and they both turn to leave. On the way out, the friend whispers to the first customer…)

Customer’s Friend: “You were supposed to let me check out first!”

(The customer has issues with accessing the internet and getting the standard ‘Internet Explorer cannot display this webpage’ error message. After doing various checks it turns out to just be a simple reset that is needed. We normally check it by asking the customer to try going to various web pages.)

Me: “So we’ve got Google up on the screen. That’s great. Okay, I want you to try going to BBC’s webpage now.”

Customer: “What website?”

Me: “Er, the address is www.bbc.co.uk.”

Customer: “How do you spell that?”

Me: “Which part? ‘co?'”

Customer: “BBC.”

(My seven-year-old brother is playing an online game. Someone says a racial slur in text chat.)

Brother: “What’s a [racial slur]?”

Mom: “WHAT DID YOU SAY?!”

Brother: “What’s a [racial slur]?”

Mom: “Don’t you ever say that! That’s a terrible word!”

Brother: “…okay.”

Mom: “Let me see that!”

(My mom starts typing ‘DON’T USE RACIAL SLURS AROUND MY CHILDREN!’ in all caps. Another one of my brothers speaks up.)

Brother #2: “Dude, Mom! Don’t feed the trolls!”