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    Reminder #2: Geeks Rule Themed Giveaway

    | Not Always Right | Announcements, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month
    Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
    Enter Not Always Right’s July Themed Story Giveaway:
    Geeks Rule!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about geeks.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

    PS: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, August 7!

    Adam And Leave

    | GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

    (I’m escorting a young couple around the store, and helping them register for their upcoming wedding. I hear my manager announce a Code Adam—a missing child security protocol in the United States—for a small boy over the P.A. system. I apologize to the couple, and start to walk to my assigned section when the man speaks up.)

    Man: “Excuse me! We’re not done registering yet!”

    Me: “I am so sorry, but as you heard, there is a Code Adam in place right now. I need to go help find the child. Hopefully we’ll find him quickly, and once we do, I’ll come back to you and help you finish your registry.”

    Woman: “There are plenty of you working here; your coworkers can handle it. Besides, it is the fault of the parents for not paying attention to their little brats. Now, does this particular set come in stainless?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but there is a little kid missing right now. I cannot just assume that he’s okay. You can still take a look around and see if there is anything else you like while we’re searching. Like I said before, I will come back to you all once the child is found.”

    Man: “Look b****, you obviously don’t get it. We’re ready to drop thousands of dollars with you guys for our wedding, as well as our new home. The least you can do is be more helpful and answer our questions. Otherwise, we’ll just go elsewhere.”

    Me: “Sir, you are free to take your business anywhere you’d like.”

    (I reach over and take the scan gun from the woman’s hand.)

    Me: “And you’re right, I should be more helpful. I’m going to go help the parents of the missing kid, who are probably in hysterics right now.”

    (I turn around and rush to my assigned area to begin searching for the missing boy. Luckily, I quickly find him building a pillow fort in our back stock room. The parents thanked me profusely, and I even received recognition from corporate!)

    You Really Don’t Want That On An Open Wound

    | Canada | Funny Names, Health & Body

    (I’m currently doing inventory at the local pharmacy where I work. An older customer comes up to me with her friend, in a panic.)

    Customer: “Can you help me?! I need some ‘Polysperm’!”

    (I assume she means ‘Polysporin’, the topical ointment that treats infections.)

    Me: “Did you mean ‘Polysporin’?”

    Customer: “Oh, no! I DEFINITELY need some ‘Polysperm’!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I haven’t heard of that product. May I ask what you are using it for?”

    Customer: “Oh, I scraped my elbow, and want to put that ‘Polysperm’ on it!”

    Me: “Okay, let me show you where it’s stocked.”

    (I point to the display of ‘Polysporin’.)

    Customer: *to her friend* “Young kids these days! They don’t know anything!”

    F Off Rude Customer

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    He Will Utter It Here

    | Austin, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Theme Of The Month

    (I am female, and work in a video game and movie resale store. I’ve been a fan of fantasy and sci-fi my whole life. I’m busy at the computer making a sign for a display, when a customer comes into the store.)

    Me: “Hello! Let me know if I can help you find anything, or if you have any questions.”

    (The customer just looks at the floor. He goes over to look at movies, when suddenly he holds up a box and a ring on a necklace.)

    Customer: “They match.”

    (I looked up. He’s holding ‘The One Ring’ on a gold chain, and holding the box art to ‘Lord of the Rings’.)

    Customer: “The writing, it matches. I just wanted to make sure it matched.”

    (We frequently get cosplayers in the store, and I enjoy talking about whatever fandom people are into. I was about to ask where he got his replica, when he starts turning the ring around in his fingers.)

    Customer: “The language is that of Mordor, which I will not utter here. In the common tongue it reads “One Ring to Rule Them All. One Ring to Find Them. One Ring to Bring Them All and In The Darkness Bind Them”.”

    (I raise an eyebrow and keep smiling. He begins to walk towards the counter, caressing the ring and begins Galadriel’s soliloquy from the opening of The Fellowship of the Ring.)

    Customer: “The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the Great Rings…”

    (My co-worker comes out from the back-room mid-soliloquy, and sees the look of somewhat bemused consternation on my face.)

    Coworker: “Um [name], have you seen the new plush we just got in?”

    Me: “No! I haven’t! They’re adorable!”

    Coworker: “I KNOW RIGHT!?”

    (The customer looks disappointed, but patiently waits out our exchange. As soon as my coworker goes back to the back stock, HE STARTS OVER FROM THE BEGINNING.)

    Customer: “It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf lords…”

    Coworker: “Um, [name], when you get a chance can you come back here; I have a question about this item.”

    Me: “Sure. I’ll be there in just a minute.”

    (I glance at the customer, and back at my coworker.)

    Customer: “It’s all right. It’s just… The writing, it matches. I just wanted to make sure it matched.”

    (At that, he puts the DVD back and quietly leaves the store. I’m still not entirely sure what happened. He hasn’t ever come back, but if he does, hopefully he knows ‘gi nathlam h”‘—Sindarin (or Elvish) for ‘you are welcome here’.)

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