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Doing Right(click) By The Aged

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Technology, Top

(I work for a company that produces a word processing software, which I am supporting.)

Me: “Thank you for calling technical support. Can I have your case number?”

(The customer provides the information. Just by the voice, I know the customer is an older lady. Usually, this means a 45+ minutes call, just because of the technology challenges.)

Me: “Could you right-click on the start button?”

Customer: “Okay, I have programs, documents, settings—”

Me: “That’s left-clicking. Could you please right-click on the start button?”

Customer: “Okay, but I still get programs, documents, settings.”

Me: “Could you describe to me, visually and step by step, what you are doing?”

Customer: “I’m putting the mouse cursor over the right part of the word ‘start’, and I click.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I was not clear. Is it possible for you to click using the right mouse button?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Okay, please pick up your mouse by the wire, and hold it up in the air.”

Customer: “I feel stupid.”

Me: “No, ma’am, you’re not. We’re all starting from different points. I’m a geek, so it’s normal if I’m a bit ahead of the curve, as far as this stuff goes. I just need to make sure that we’re on a level field, here.”

Customer: “Okay, it’s in the air.”

Me: “Great! Between your wire and your palm-resting are—”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Okay, put it flat again, and put your hand on your mouse, as if to use it.”

Customer: “Oh, I get it, the place where my palm is resting.”

Me: “Exactly. Pick it up again. Between the wire and the palm-resting area, there is an area that is divided vertically. How many sections are there?”

Customer: “Two”

Me: “Great! Ma’am, I would like to formally introduce you to your left mouse button and your right mouse button. So when I ask you to right-click—”

Customer: “You want me to use the right mouse button!”

Me: “You’re a smart one!”

(It turns out that the older lady is 96 years old. She was doing her shuffleboard association’s newsletter, and her software had become thoroughly corrupted and needed to be reinstalled. We spend over an hour and a half. This lady had seen the advent of movies, TV, color TV, had seen the Model T, saw the first planes, radio and all. When I will be 96 years old, I just hope I am as technologically savvy as she is!)

It Gets Worse

Here’s a parody of “It Gets Better” ad but this time it’s about customer service industry. It’s aptly named “It Gets Worse.”

Via

Geeks Rule Themed Giveaway Roundup

Not Always Right | Geeks Rule, Roundups, Theme Of The Month

Geeks Rule Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. Link, Nyu, And Sephiroth Walk Into A Bar… (2,603 thumbs up)
  2. Time And Relative Dimensions In Cyberspace (1,568 thumbs up)
  3. Saving Souls And Money (2,718 thumbs up)
  4. Yaoi Got To Be Kidding (1,286 thumbs up)
  5. Space-Time Is Money (2,133 thumbs up)
  6. The Text Signaler Concurrence (1,557 thumbs up)
  7. The Song Broke Loose And Then Vamoose And Now You Know The Plot (2,067 thumbs up)
  8. Look Into Your Heart You Know It To Be True (1,884 thumbs up)
  9. Declawing The Villains (1,791 thumbs up)
  10. The Fully-Insured Walking Dead (1,512 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Laptop Flop, Part 3

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Technology

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [store]! How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, my laptop that I bought from you guys a while ago got stolen. I need to get a copy of my receipt for insurance purposes.”

Me: “Okay, no problem! What I need is the cred—”

Customer: “What I’m going to give you is my name and phone number, and you see what you can find with that.”

Me: “Ma’am, when we do receipt lookups, it’s processed at the register. I need you to bring in the card you paid with, and the UPC or item number of the laptop, if you happened to save those off the box.”

Customer: “I don’t have any of that.”

Me: “Well, do you have one of our rewards cards?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Err… could you tell me what kind of laptop it was?”

Customer: “I ALREADY SAID THAT!”

Me: “If you did, I didn’t hear it ma’am. What was it?”

Customer: “I already said it. But it was… tah-shibbia? Or… Toshi-bai-bah or something.”

Me: “Toshiba.”

(I wait for the customer to supply more information about the laptop, but she’s silent.)

Me: “…and the model number?”

Customer: “I DON’T HAVE THAT!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I really need at least that information so I could look up an item number. How about the month you purchased the laptop; do you have that?”

Customer: “What month is this? Well, it isn’t April yet. So this month must be March. I bought it in November. Maybe it was around my birthday. Like if I bought myself a birthday present! Yeah, that must’ve been it.”

(I wait for the customer to tell me when her birthday is.)

Customer: “Anyway, you see what you can find with that, and call me back.”

Me: “Ma’am, as I said before, I need to know what kind of lapt—”

Customer: “No, look it up with my name. And if you can’t find it, you call me back and tell me exactly what you need, and I’ll get it for you.”

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 2
Laptop Flop

Nothing You Can Say In Reply

| Madison, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Caller: “Yes, I sent this request in to update the new rates weeks ago, and I still haven’t seen anything done about it!”

Me: “Okay, how did you submit that information to us?”

Caller: “I replied to the email from you people asking for the information of course!”

Me: “You replied? Ma’am, we send emails from an unattended inbox called ‘Do Not Reply.’ Did you reply to donotreply@****.com?”

Caller: “Yeah, I suppose that was the email address. Why?”

Me: “Well, first off, it’s from ‘Do Not Reply,’ and in the email it reiterates that this is an unattended inbox. It directs you to several other means of submitting that information with big bold letters that say ‘DO NOT REPLY.'”

Caller: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!”

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