(I receive a phone call randomly one Saturday morning.)

Caller: “Hello, I’m looking for [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes, who’s this?”

Caller: “I’m calling from [Local Hospital] regarding your procedure on Thursday.”

(I’m shocked to hear this, and it takes me a moment to process what she is saying.)

Me: “I’m sorry… what? My procedure? WHAT procedure?”

Caller: “Your procedure on Thursday with Dr. [Name].”

Me: “Doctor who? I’ve never heard of this doctor! What do you mean, I have a procedure on Thursday? I haven’t even been to any doctor at all in a year!”

Caller: “Oh… you… don’t know this doctor?”

Me: “No! I don’t know this doctor. And I am not having surgery! I have no idea why you’re calling me. You must have made a mistake.”

Caller: “I’m so sorry. I’ll get this straightened out. I’m so sorry for bothering you.”

(I hang up the phone a bit disturbed by the mix-up, but I try to laugh it off with my husband. Two days later, I get another phone call.)

Caller: “Hello, I’m calling from the hospital for your surgery on Thursday?”

Me: “Okay, no. I already got this phone call two days ago. You guys are wrong. I am not having surgery on Thursday. I have never heard of this doctor, and I have no idea why you think I’m having surgery. The other lady told me she was going to fix this. Can you PLEASE ensure me that you’ll fix this?”

Caller: “Oh, well, I apologize for the trouble, but I’m sorry, I can’t ensure you that we’ll get this resolved. But I’ll see what I can do.”

(I hang up, but now I’m worried. Sure enough, two days later, I receive yet another phone call.)

Caller: “Hello, I’m calling from the hospital for your surgery on Thursday?”

Me: “Alright, this is ridiculous. I don’t mean to be rude, but this is not brain surgery. For the last time, I. AM. NOT. HAVING. SURGERY. TOMORROW. I do not understand why you keep calling me about a procedure I know nothing about, with a doctor I’ve never heard of. And I keep asking you guys to fix it and you don’t. Can you even tell me what kind of surgery I’m supposedly having?”

Caller: “I’m sorry; I don’t know that.”

Me: “What kind of doctor is Dr. [Name]?”

Caller: “I don’t know that either.”

Me: “Do you at least have the doctor’s phone number?”

(I get the phone number to the office of the doctor and, of course, they have never heard of me. After much back and forth between departments, they finally find out that the hospital had miswritten the medical record number of the patient who was actually scheduled for the surgery, and the miswritten number brought up my record instead.)

Receptionist: “Okay, so everything is all fixed now; the hospital has the right patient for surgery tomorrow, not you, so everything’s all taken care of.”

Me: “And what happens if they call me again?”

Receptionist: “They won’t. We’ve fixed it.”

Me: “Are you absolutely sure?”

Receptionist: “Yes. We’ve fixed it. They won’t call you anymore.”

Me: “Alright, fine. Thank you for your help.”

(I hang up and call my husband to let him know this mess has been sorted out. Just minutes into the conversation, I get another incoming call.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Yes, hello, I’m calling from the hospital to remind you of your surgery tomorrow?”

(The kicker? The doctor I was supposedly getting operated on turned out to be a brain surgeon.)

Customer: “Excuse me; do you have this item in a smaller size?”

Me: *checking computer* “Unfortunately we don’t, but [other location 15 minutes away] is showing several. Would you like us to bring one over for you within the next couple of days? Or, if you like, we can call and have them hold it if you want to go there.”

Customer: “We were there two weeks ago and they didn’t have it. Your computer must be wrong.”

Me: “I’ll of course call to confirm their totals, but since we get stock in all the time it is possible that they have received some between then and now.”

Customer: “What do you mean, you ‘get stock all the time?'”

Me: “Well, every once in a while we get shipments to replace anything we’ve sold out of, or to bring in new merchandise.”

Customer: “That’s stupid.”

(As part of a volunteer teaching program, I have the chance to teach at an elementary school at the heart of Chicago’s Chinatown. Standing in front of a group of First Graders, I am teaching them about businesses and professions.)

Me: “Does anyone know what to call people who teach kids in school?”

Kids In Unison: “Teacher!”

Me: “Wonderful! Anyone knows what to call people who make you feel better when you are sick?”

Kids In Unison: “Doctor!”

Me: “Wonderful! Anyone knows what to call people who cook food in the restaurants?”

Kid #1: “Dad!”

Kid #2: “Uncle!”

Kid #3:” Mom!”

Kid #4: “Grandpa!”

(I am confused for a moment, and then realize that I am in Chinatown, and most of their families are in restaurant business.)

Me: “Actually, we call them chefs!”

(The kids looked at each other, excited.)

Kid #1: “Wow! My dad has a title!”

(I started talking to my now-fiancé in college because he asked to borrow books from me, and then wanted to discuss them with me. Eight years later, we are getting married.)

Me: “I’m kind of worn out talking to all these people.”

Fiancé: “But it’s our wedding! They came to celebrate with us; we have to talk to them.”

Me: “But I’m tired! There are so many people!”

Fiancé: “You know… we did bring our books…”

Me: *kissing him* “Hi, will you marry me?”

Fiancé: “I thought that’s what I just did!”

(We spent half an hour hiding in a back room of the church, reading our books together at our own wedding!)

This story is part of the Wedding roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Crazy Stories About Mothers-In-Law, And The Interesting Relationships We Have With Them

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(I have been working at the same grocery supermarket for five years as a simple cashier. I have recently handed in my resignation letter, because working there makes me depressive, and I want to focus on my other jobs and studies. At the beginning of my shift, my manager comes to see me.)

Manager: “Is it true you’re leaving?”

Me: “Yes, I want to focus on my other jobs.”

Manager: “Man! How am I going to manage this place with you gone? I’ll make you change your mind; you’ll see.”

(I laugh it off. A few days later, business is slow, and I’m speaking with my supervisor and mentioning my leaving.)

Supervisor: “Really? How are we going to manage without you?”

Me: “I’m just a cashier! Anyone can do my job.”

Supervisor: “Not as seriously as you do! Let’s check the employee list…”

(She then names every employee who is below me.)

Supervisor: “She’s lazy, she’s always talking with her, she was made supervisor but everyone hates her, she always complains, he’s just a big douche, she’s always late, he’s never available when we need him. See? You’re one of our best employees!”

(I felt sorry for her and my manager, but I didn’t change my mind!)