Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
    (1,989 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Archive for 2013

    Jump to page:

    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 5

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (I’m 18, and have been hospitalized for a severe case of mono. As a result of the illness, my throat is badly swollen and I can hardly speak. I’m on lots of painkillers. I’m sharing a room with a boy who swallowed a rock. The boy has been screaming since his mother left and his father can’t quiet him down.)

    Nurse: “Okay, [my name], I’m just going to check your vitals.”

    Me: *whispering* “How much longer until I can have more pain medication?”

    Nurse: “Not for a while, sweetie.”

    (The nurse leaves. The boy’s father has been watching us the whole time.)

    Boy’s Father: “Listen, you little b****! Don’t you f****** gossip about me to the f****** nurses! You keep your f****** mouth shut, or I’ll shut it for you!”

    (I’m stunned, as I haven’t said a word to or about him. As I can’t move and can barely speak, I’m in tears and terrified. Not long after, my mom comes in to visit.)

    Mom: “Hey, [my name]. How are you doing?”

    Me: *crying and whispering* “Mom, the dad of that boy screamed at me. He said to shut up, or he’d shut me up.”

    (My mom is silent, but clearly fuming. She leaves for a moment.)

    Boy’s Father: “WHAT DID I SAY?!”

    (Just then, my mom comes back with security in tow.)

    Mom: “Escort him from hospital grounds NOW.”

    Boy’s Father: “B****! You can’t tell me what to do! You aren’t the boss here! I’m twenty-f******-five!”

    Mom: “Actually, I AM the boss here! It’s my day off, but I’m head nurse on this floor, and if you EVER speak to my daughter ever again, I will have you arrested so fast that you won’t ever hear the sirens! And by the way, I’m forty-freaking-eight and I have the good sense not to let my kids eat rocks!”

    (The man was removed from hospital grounds and was banned from re-entering for 48 hours unless it was an emergency. I have the best mom in the world.)

    Related:
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 4
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 3
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 2

    Predicting A Storm Of Protest

    | Boulder, CO, USA | Geography, Math & Science, Themed Giveaway, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at an answering service that handles after-hours calls for various businesses. One of the accounts was a nice restaurant in the mountains of Colorado. A man calls one April to make a reservation.)

    Caller: “I was hoping for a table on May 16th?”

    Me: “It looks like there are various times open, so I can certainly set that up for you.”

    Caller: “Okay, great. I’m going to be vacationing up there with my wife.”

    Me: “Well, that sounds lovely!”

    (We set up his dinner reservation.)

    Caller: “So, can you give me any advice about what I should pack for a long weekend there? What is the weather like?”

    Me: “Well sir, Colorado weather is very unpredictable, particularly in the spring. I would advise bringing clothing options for all seasons and dressing in layers.”

    Caller: “I just want to know if I should pack warm clothes or short sleeves!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I understand that. However, springtime in Colorado has weather ranging from snowstorms to hot and sunny.”

    Caller: “Oh, what nonsense. You clearly don’t know what you’re talking about.”

    Me: “Sir, I have lived in this state all my life. A common saying here is that if you don’t like the weather you should wait five minutes, and that holds true all year. Spring and autumn are the most unpredictable and varied when it comes to temperature, so—”

    Caller: “What was the temperature today?”

    Me: “Today? Well, this morning it was thirty degrees with heavy frost on the ground, and by noon it was about seventy-five with clear skies and sunshine—”

    Caller: “Are you trying to be difficult? There’s no reason to be a smart-a**, you know.”

    Me: “No, sir, not at all. I’m very genuinely trying to help you. Even for people who are used to it, weather changes here can be quite—”

    Caller: “You’re no help at all! I’ll just bring a few pairs of shorts and t-shirts.”

    Me: “Sir, please don’t do that. You will need warmer clothes in the mountains!”

    Caller: “So, now I should bring my winter clothes? Why didn’t you just say so?!”

    Me: “Well, you should, but bring some cooler clothes as well because—”

    Caller: “No! It has to be one or the other! I don’t want to bring more than I need!”

    Me: “You will definitely NEED options for highly variable temperatures. I’m very sorry, but—”

    Caller: “You’re useless! It’s just four days. It can’t be that complicated!”

    Me: “Look, four days ago it was shorts and tank top weather. Two days ago it snowed for a day and a night. I personally keep a heavy coat and a pair of sandals in my car because there are days when I need them both. Believe me, I wish it were all nice and predictable, but it really IS that complicated. I’m not making this up for fun.”

    Caller: “Oh, I’ve never heard such nonsense. Springtime is bound to be nice, so I’ll pack for that. Thanks for nothing!”

    Me: “Sir, I really advise—”

    Caller: “And cancel the dinner reservation!” *click*

    (May 16th turns out to be a properly variable week, with wind, rain, sun, and overnight snow.)

    Service With A Smile

    , | Peoria, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I am working the drive thru and I’m in a good mood.)

    Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Your total comes to $3.47 and a smile!”

    (I smile at her.)

    Customer: “Excuse me? How rude! How dare you?”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Customer: “I don’t want to smile, and you can’t make me. Just give me my d*** food.”

    (The customer leaves.)

    Manager: “What was her problem?”

    Me: “I ‘charged’ her a smile.”

    Manager: “I hate drive thru.”

    The New Boeing Tardis

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Themed Giveaway, Transportation

    (I have to catch a flight leaving at about 6 am. I show up at the self-check-in counters at 5 am, only to discover that my ticket won’t register.)

    Airline Rep: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”

    Me: “Uh, I think so. I’ve swiped my passport, punched in my ticket number, put in my name, and it’s not registering.”

    (The airline rep takes my information and tries it herself; the machine still doesn’t register. She looks at my itinerary.)

    Airline Rep: “Well, ma’am, I think your main problem is that your flight doesn’t leave until tomorrow.”

    Not The Brightest Of The Bunch

    | NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am standing at the front counter next to the bowl of bananas we have for making smoothies. A customer in his mid-20s approaches the counter.)

    Customer: “Hey, do you sell any bananas?”

    Me: “Yes, we do have bananas. However, we cannot sell them to you as we need them for our smoothies.”

    Customer: “Great! How much for one?”

    Me: “They’re not for sale; we need them. There is a shopping center close by. If you go there, they can sell you bananas, and cheaply too.”

    Customer: “Okay… then how much for a banana smoothie?”

    Me: “That will be $4.99 for a small, and $5.99 for a large.”

    Customer: “Okay… can I get a banana smoothie, but can you not ‘smoothie’ it?”


    Page 188/477First...186187188189190...Last