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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 22

| USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

Me: “Thank you for calling [company]; how may I help today?”


Me: “I can see that would be extremely frustrating. Can I have your account information so we can correct this?”

(The caller gives me the information, and I see she hasn’t made a payment in four months.)

Caller: “Turn it back on right now!”

Me: “I would be happy to once you make a payment to get your account up to date.”

Caller: “I have to pay?!”

Me: “Well you haven’t made any payments in four months; may I ask why? Is there something that been preventing you from paying?”

Caller: “Yeah, something really important.”

Me: “May I ask what it was?”

Caller: “Yeah, I was saving up for my vacation to Cancun. That is why I need the card back on. RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Just so I have this straight: you didn’t pay your credit card because you wanted to save up for your vacation, and now you want us to let you use your card.”

Caller: “Yeah, what’s so hard about that?”

Me: “Sorry, we wont be able to do that for you without having a payment.”

Caller: “What! I am so canceling my card when I get home!”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

Has No Train Of Thought

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I work near a property of the Royal Family’s, which is open to the public unless a member of the Royal Family is in residence. Today, this happens to be the case, due to a homecoming procession for a returning regiment. Most tourists hoping to visit have been quite accepting of this, but one American tourist is not.)

Tourist: “Why can’t I get into the castle?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, the Palace is closed to the public today because Princess Anne is in residence for the homecoming procession. It’ll be open tomorrow.”

Tourist: “I’m not here tomorrow! I’m only here today! Why didn’t they hold it tomorrow, so I could go today?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but in fairness they can’t have been aware of your travel plans.”

Tourist: “Bull-s***! I booked all of my train and plane tickets online!”

Me: “Good for you, sir, but I don’t understand.”

Tourist: “On the internet! They should have checked whether or not people are only going to be here for one day! It’s on the internet, so they can check, obviously! Are you an idiot? Stupid little girls that don’t even speak real English!”

(A soldier walking past the shop looks in, and hears the tourist ranting.)

Soldier: “Sir, do you have a problem with the British military or royalty?”

(The soldier is wearing a large knife on his belt, and carrying a rifle. The angry tourist quickly leaves.)

Pay Attention

| AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body

(One of our registers has been closed all day, with plenty of signs to say so. A customer runs up to me with a heavy accent.)

Customer: “Pay! I need to pay!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this register is currently closed. The nearest open registers are—”

Customer: *holds out a sweater to me* “Pay?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but this register is closed. The nearest open register is just down that way.”

Customer: “No, no, I need to PAY!”

Me: “Ma’am, this register is closed. Closed.” *I speak slowly* “I cannot work the register for you. They are locked. Only a manager can—”

(The customer starts writhing around in a strange manner, with her sweater held over her stomach and her legs bowed together.)

Customer: “Oh, I need to pay! So bad!”

(One of my coworkers has a brainwave and comes up to the customer.)

Coworker: “Excuse me, do you need a restroom? A bathroom?”

Customer: *looks at my coworker cheerfully* “I can pay?”

Coworker: “You need to… pee? A bathroom?”

Customer: “Pay!”

(The customer begins energetically following my coworker.)

Coworker: “The bathrooms are just down this way; if you follow this aisle, turn left up here and—”

Customer: “No! I need to PAY!”

(The customer runs off, completely ignoring my coworker’s directions. We still aren’t entirely sure what she was asking for!)

Customer Gets Carded Anyway

| Manchester, England, UK | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

(I am working the drive-thru, and the card machine has just gone down. There are a number of cars already waiting in line, so I go outside to put signs up and tell them about the problem.)

Me: “Hello, madam, I am very sorry, but we are having problems with our card machine. If you need to pay by card, you will need to go inside the restaurant.”

Customer: “Well why the f*** didn’t you tell me before?”

Me: “I am very sorry but this problem has only just occurred.”

Customer: “You stupid b****, I asked why didn’t you tell me before I queued up!”

Me: “I walked out here as soon as we had the problem, and again, I am sorry for the inconvenience.”

(The customer starts screaming at me, so I walk behind her car to go and tell the next customer.)

Customer: “Don’t walk away from me b****. I was talking to you! Are you stupid?”

(The customer then reverses her car into me hard, knocking me to the floor.)

Customer: “You damaged my car you little s***! I am phoning the police!”

(Someone comes out to help me, and calls an ambulance. Both the ambulance and police arrive, and surprise, surprise, it isn’t me that is arrested!)

Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 5

| ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

(I’m 18, and have been hospitalized for a severe case of mono. As a result of the illness, my throat is badly swollen and I can hardly speak. I’m on lots of painkillers. I’m sharing a room with a boy who swallowed a rock. The boy has been screaming since his mother left and his father can’t quiet him down.)

Nurse: “Okay, [My Name], I’m just going to check your vitals.”

Me: *whispering* “How much longer until I can have more pain medication?”

Nurse: “Not for a while, sweetie.”

(The nurse leaves. The boy’s father has been watching us the whole time.)

Boy’s Father: “Listen, you little b****! Don’t you f****** gossip about me to the f****** nurses! You keep your f****** mouth shut, or I’ll shut it for you!”

(I’m stunned, as I haven’t said a word to or about him. As I can’t move and can barely speak, I’m in tears and terrified. Not long after, my mom comes in to visit.)

Mom: “Hey, [My Name]. How are you doing?”

Me: *crying and whispering* “Mom, the dad of that boy screamed at me. He said to shut up, or he’d shut me up.”

(My mom is silent, but clearly fuming. She leaves for a moment.)

Boy’s Father: “WHAT DID I SAY?!”

(Just then, my mom comes back with security in tow.)

Mom: “Escort him from hospital grounds NOW.”

Boy’s Father: “B****! You can’t tell me what to do! You aren’t the boss here! I’m twenty-f******-five!”

Mom: “Actually, I AM the boss here! It’s my day off, but I’m head nurse on this floor, and if you EVER speak to my daughter ever again, I will have you arrested so fast that you won’t ever hear the sirens! And by the way, I’m forty-freaking-eight and I have the good sense not to let my kids eat rocks!”

(The man was removed from hospital grounds and was banned from re-entering for 48 hours unless it was an emergency. I have the best mom in the world.)

Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 4
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 3
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 2