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    It’s Crazy Season(ing)

    , | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A customer has ordered a poutine, two large fries with seasoning and a rooter through the drive thru. My manager has informed me that it will take three minutes to cook up enough fries to fill the order, so I go to the window ask her to park her car while she waits.)

    Me: “Hi, so there going to be three minutes to cook—”

    Customer: “You forgot one of my drinks.”

    (Her order was for only one drink, but I just pour her another drink rather than argue.)

    Me: “There you go; sorry about that. It will just be three minutes for your fries—”

    Customer: “Can I get some ketchup packets too?”

    Me: “Sure I’ll put some in the bag. If you could—”

    Customer: “Can I get them now?”

    Me: “Here you go. So if you just want to—”

    Customer: “Can I get some more?”

    Me: “Sure. If you’ll go pull up in front of the building—”

    Customer: “Can I get a container of seasoning too?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (I go ask the kitchen for a container of seasoning. While I’m waiting, my manager gives me a puzzled look and glances meaningfully at the drive thru timer; I just shrug and grimace. The customer looks inside the container when I give it to her.)

    Me: “Okay, so here you go. If you’ll pull up in front of the building, we’ll bring&mdash”

    Customer: “Can I get a lot more seasoning?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    Coworker: “She’s not gone yet?!”

    Me: “She wants more seasoning first.”

    (My manager’s just shaking his head.)

    Me: “So here you go. Just pull up and we’ll bring you—”

    Customer: “Yeah, yeah. I know.”

    (The customer drives through. At this point, she’s been sitting at our window for over two minutes, so her food is ready very quickly. I hand her the order out in the parking lot.)

    Me: “Alright, so there’s your poutine, and two large fries. Sorry about the wait. Have a—”

    Customer: scowls* “I hope no one spat in this!” *rolls up her window and drives away*

    Me: “—nice day.”

    Takes A Backbone To Stand Up For Yourself

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Top

    (I am a 28-year-old female. I have just parked in a handicapped spot to go grocery shopping. I had surgery on my spine a month prior to this incident. I put my handicapped sticker up and exit my car when a random customer comes up to me.)

    Customer: “How dare you!”

    Me: “I beg your pardon?”

    Customer: “You should be absolutely ASHAMED of yourself! It’s young people like you who have NO respect for anything! Who do you think you are? Parking in a handicapped spot! You aren’t even handicapped! I bet you stole that from someone, and you are just using it so you won’t have to park farther away!”

    Me: “Well, actually ma’am, it’s my handicapped sticker. I—”

    Customer: “Yours? You’re perfectly healthy! You shouldn’t lie to people! LIARS GO TO HELL! I can tell just by LOOKING at you that you’re perfectly fine! You’re just lazy.”

    (I’m livid, but I try to keep my composure.)

    Me: “Actually, it is my handicapped sticker. As I was trying to tell you before you rudely interrupted me and started throwing around assumptions, I have Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Sjogren’s Syndrome, and Degenerative Disk Disease. Furthermore, not all physical disabilities can be readily seen. This is the first time in a month that I’ve been well enough to get out of the house on my own since having my spinal fusion surgery last month. Next time, you should think before you speak, instead of just making random asinine assumptions about people you don’t know.”

    (The customer looks like a deer in the headlights. She turns bright red, and continues to mumble as she walks away. I get my shopping done, and see her as I’m checking out. Surprisingly, she apologizes profusely, and offers to help me load my groceries into my car.)

    Introducing Not Always Right’s New Look!

    | Not Always Right | Announcements

    No, your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you:
    You’re looking at the new Not Always Right!

    We’ve redesigned the site with a focus on improving readability and accessibility across desktop, mobile, and tablet devices. Of course, there’s always room for improvement, so please contact us with your comments, suggestions, or any bugs you may have caught.

    Please enjoy our site’s new look, and thanks as always for being a reader!

    Reminder: Tourists & Travelers Themed Giveaway

    | Not Always Right | Announcements, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel
    Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
    Enter Not Always Right’s August Themed Story Giveaway:
    Tourists & Travelers!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about tourist & traveler customers.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

    PS: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, September 4!

    Punch, Drunk, And Love

    | USA | Food & Drink, Love/Romance, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m sitting at a bar when a drunk man approaches a regular female customer, who has been quietly chatting with the also-female bartender.)

    Drunk Customer: “Hey, honey, let me buy you a drink.”

    Female Regular: *not even turning around* “No thanks. Already have one, and just so you know, I’m married.”

    Drunk Customer: “S***, b****, I’m just offering a beer.”

    Female Regular: “And I’m politely declining. Please leave me alone.”

    Drunk Customer: “I bet I could f****** beat the s*** out of your man!”

    Female Regular: *smiling slightly* “Most likely.”

    (The male customer sitting next to her, who has been quietly eating his food, and seemingly not involved in the situation at all, laughs.)

    Male Customer: “Gee, thanks, babe.”

    (The drunk man scoffs at the male customer, who is at least five inches shorter and, while fit, not remotely as muscular as the drunk.)

    Drunk Customer: “You’re this b****’s man?”

    Male Customer: “I’m this woman’s husband, yes.”

    Drunk Customer: “S***, I could pummel you in seconds! She should ditch your sorry a**, and I’ll show her what a real man is like!”

    Male Customer: “You could probably beat me up, but that’s not the problem. My wife asked you to leave. Please do so before you get hurt.”

    Drunk Customer: “F*** you, what are you gonna do about it?!”

    (The drunk customer grabs the male customer’s shoulder, and tries to punch him. Before he can, the female regular turns on her bar stool, twists the drunk’s hand away, and punches him so hard in the face that he drops to the floor.)

    Male Customer: “I didn’t say I’d hurt you.”

    (The drunk stumbles to his feet, furious and bleeding from his nose.)

    Drunk Customer: “F*** you both!” *to the bartender* “This b**** punched me! Throw her out!”

    Bartender: *laughs* “H*** no!”

    Drunk Customer: “B****! I AM THE OWNER’S BROTHER! I WANT THIS W**** AND HER HUSBAND TOSSED!”

    Bartender: *to the female regular* “Huh, I didn’t know we had a brother.”

    Drunk Customer: “…huh?”

    Bartender: “I own this bar, and the woman you were treating oh-so-kindly is my little sister. And she had every right to deck you for being a d***.”

    Drunk Customer: “F*** ALL OF YOU! I DON’T NEED TO LISTEN TO YOU, YOU F****** GINGER IRISH W****! TRYING TO RUIN ME! NO MAN WILL EVER WANT TO F*** YOU, YOU B****!”

    Bartender: “You don’t need to listen to us anymore. Get out of my bar; you’re banned for life.”

    (The drunk man continues to scream obscenities at her, her sister, and her brother-in-law, until he had to be dragged out by the bouncer—the bartender’s husband.)

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