July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

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Must Have Coasted Through Her Geography Lessons

| MA, USA | Food & Drink, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(It’s important to note this takes place in Massachusetts, on the east coast of the USA.)

Tourist: “I’d like to get [coffee], and my daughter will have [more complicated coffee].”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be [amount].”

Tourist: “Oh, I left my money in my car. I’ll be back.”

(She leaves, and I am forced to move on to the next customer. Her daughter waits patiently for a good 15-20 minutes. Then her mother returns. She rudely interrupts another customer.)

Tourist: “Um, excuse me, WHY haven’t you made our drinks yet?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, there was a line—”

Tourist: “I was here first! Now make our drinks, and I have to use your bathroom.”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have a bathroom for customers.”

Tourist: “WHEN YOU PAY FOR STUFF IN RESTAURANTS IN NEW JERSEY, WHERE I’M FROM, YOU CAN USE THE F***ING BATHROOM! GOD! This is why I NEVER come to the east coast!”

(The tourist and her daughter depart, much to the dumbfounded disbelief of the customers remaining. I exchange glances with a customer.)

Me: “…doesn’t she know New Jersey is on the east coast?”

A Very Shallow Pool Of Intelligence

| AR, USA | Extra Stupid

(The phone rings.)

Customer: “I need to get sand for my pool filter.”

Me: “Okie doke, how much sand do you need?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “If you look on your filter, it will usually tell you how much it uses.”

Customer: “I’m looking at it right now. It doesn’t say how much it needs.”

Me: “Does it say anything on it at all?”

Customer: “Yes it has a serial number.”

Me: “What is it?”

Customer: “300-L-B-S.”

(I pause.)

Customer: “Does that help?”

Me: “I will have your sand ready to pick up in 15 minutes.”

No Room For Negotiation

| USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(My hotel is the only one near a very busy pavilion. During concert season, we book up solid.)

Me: “Hello. May I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I need a room.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we have no more.”

Caller: “WHAT! You’re lying.”

Me: “I’m not.”

Caller: “Yes, you are. You have rooms left. Aren’t you still waiting on people to show up?”

Me: “Yes…”

Caller: “Well then, give me their room! I’m here, and they’re not!”

Me: “I can’t.”

Caller: “WHY NOT!”

Me: “Because they’ve reserved that room. I have to hold it for a few more hours. If they still don’t show until then, you may have it.”

Caller: “That’s stupid! You’re just being mean!”

Me: “No, what’s ‘mean’ is if I gave you their room that they booked. How would you like it if I gave one of your rooms that you booked?”

Caller: *blank stare*

Me: “Exactly…”

Caller: “You just lost some money!” *storms off*

(The reservation did show, so we didn’t.)

A**-Hole Tax

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Weekly Roundup: Hotels & Lodging

Not Always Right | Hotels & Lodging, Roundups

Weekly Roundup: Hotels & Lodging! In this week’s roundup, we share five stories about hotel & motel customers!

  1. Smoking Rate Gets Smokers Irate (2,101 thumbs up)
  2. Unable To Order, Drunken Disorder (1,959 thumbs up)
  3. Can’t Keep Up With The Joneses (4,248 thumbs up)
  4. When (Not) In Rome (1,940 thumbs up)
  5. Voodoo Or Do Not, There Is No Jedi (2,813 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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