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    With You Or In The Bag?

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    Old TV’s Are Going Down The Tubes

    | Belgrade, Serbia | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Technology

    (My cable company has been offering to replace outdated external tuners, free of charge, for our customers who possess a newer generation of TVs. Not everyone does, however. They usually get mad because their TVs are not up to standards. This customer has an antiquated CRT TV.)

    Me: “Ma’am, your TV does not support this new technology. I’m sorry.”

    (I bring up my tablet and flag her as ‘incapable of supporting.’)

    Customer: “But you didn’t even look behind the TV. How can you know right from the door?”

    Me: “Because TVs with cathode ray tubes do not have the tuner and the access port I need to insert this module.”

    Customer: “But the TV is new. I bought it six months ago. Your message said that TVs bought three years ago or sooner have this.”

    Me: “No, ma’am. It says models no older than three years. It also says that those TVs have to be LCD, plasma or LED. Not CRT. This TV just does not have the hardware.”

    Customer: “Well, you’re a rude young man. I bet that you are just lazy. You want to finish work sooner, and go home and play those horrible video games.”

    (Losing patience, I show her how the module looks.)

    Me: “If I could replace your external tuner with this, I would.”

    (The customer snatches the module out from my hand and goes to the TV.)

    Customer: “I will show you that you can. You’ll see, you rude boy.”

    (She proceeds to try to shove the CA Module into every single hole in her TV casing that it has. She screams in triumph and looks at me.)

    Customer: “There! See, it fits.”

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s a cooling hole…”

    No Paws For Thought, Part 3

    | Albuquerque, NM, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

    (I’m a customer at a big-box superstore. I have an invisible disability. I have just gotten a small service dog to help me with it. We don’t have a ‘service dog’ vest for him yet. He’s currently sitting quietly in the child seat of a grocery cart, well out of reach of any of the store’s products. I’m waiting to check out. A customer right in front of me in line turns to me.)

    Customer: “They let you have a dog in here? That’s not allowed.”

    Me: “They don’t seem to mind as long as I keep him up and away from food. Plus, he’s a service dog.”

    Customer: “You can’t have dogs where’s there’s food. I know; I have a dog. I’d like to bring him with me but I can’t. You can only have service dogs inside.”

    Me: “He is a service dog.”

    Customer: *to cashier* “Can you believe that some people bring their dogs everywhere? You can only have service dogs inside.”

    Me: *louder* “He IS a service dog.”

    Customer: *still talking to cashier “People need to learn you can’t just bring your dog anywhere you want. Only service dogs are allowed.”

    (I give up and talk to the cashier.)

    Me: “He IS a service dog. I have the papers for him and everything.”

    (The customer ignores me. She finishes checking out and walks off, still muttering.)

    Customer: “Only service dogs are allowed inside.”

    Cashier: “What the heck was her problem? Some people need to spend some time living in real society like we do and figure out how things work.”

    Older Couple Behind Us In Line: “D*** right!”

    (We proceed to finish checking out. We spend five minutes laughing with the older couple behind us and telling jokes about entitled people. Thanks for making our day, grouchy customer!)

    Related:
    No Paws For Thought, Part 2
    No Paws For Thought

    Not Ex-static About Donating

    | Canada | Liars & Scammers, Money, School

    (The particular call centre I work at calls alumni from the university, both to give them updates and to solicit donations. The alumnus I’m speaking with is quite polite. I’m partway through the call.)

    Me: “…so the date of your reunion is in two months. It sounds like you really enjoyed your time here!”

    Alumnus: “I definitely did.”

    Me: “Part of the reason you were able to enjoy it so much is because of the generosity of other alumni, like you, from the past—”

    Alumnus: “Oh, we’re doing that part now.”

    Me: “…so if you’d like, I could—”

    Alumnus: “Hold on a second! Khrrrrrrrt…”

    (The alum has started making not-quite-static noises with his throat.)

    Me: “Uh, sir? Are you—”

    Alumnus: “You’re breaking up! Khhrrrrrrrtzzzzz!”

    (This is followed by an actual phone click.)

    Check The Holodeck

    | Huntsville, AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Technology

    (I work at a call center for a satellite TV company.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m not getting any picture on my TV.”

    Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience. I would be happy to try to help you resolve this.”

    (After going through some basic troubleshooting for several minutes, I’m finally able to determine that her satellite box isn’t connected to her television.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you’ll need to connect your box to your TV in order to see a picture.”

    Customer: “You’re lying! I’ve had your service for years. I’ve never had to hook up my TV!”

    (This customer had actually only just signed up for service a few days earlier.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid this company’s equipment has always needed to be connected to a television in order to display a picture.”

    Customer: “But I thought the box could make a picture above it – like a hologram or something.”

    Me: “Ma’am, if our equipment could do that, we would be charging you a lot more for your programming…”

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