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    Questions About The Menu

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    Mass Defect

    | Copenhagen, Denmark | Bigotry, Technology

    (I’m a female employee in a video game store. The latest edition to the ‘Mass Effect’ series has just come out, which I happen to be a great fan of. A customer approaches my coworker.)

    Customer: “Hello, I’d like to get this game for my son. I heard it is the new one?”

    (The customer holds out a copy of ‘Mass Effect 2′ for PC, which is not the newest one.)

    Coworker: “Yeah, I think so, I am not sure. Let me ask my coworker.” *refers to me* “Is that the right one?”

    Me: “No, that’s the previous one. Please follow me, and I’ll show you where they are.”

    Customer: *snorts* “That’s alright missy; I’ll take your coworkers word for it. Why don’t you go back to your Pokémon?”

    Me: “I promise you, sir, that’s not the game your son wants. If I can just—”

    Customer: *to my coworker* “Can you ring this up for me, please?”

    (My coworker seems a bit unsure at this point, but decides to ring it up for him anyway. The customer walks away happily with his purchase, and I make nothing more out of it. A few hours later, the customer comes storming back in, literally SLAMMING the game on the desk.)

    Customer: “What the f*** is wrong with you people? Have you NO knowledge whatsoever about what you’re selling?! You got me the wrong game! My son already has this! Talk about a f****** rip off!”

    (I quickly snatch a copy of ‘Mass Effect 3,’ and join them at the desk.)

    Me: “Excuse me, sir, but I believe this is the game you were looking for.”

    (The customer stares at the game case, clearly getting more angry.)

    Customer: “Well, why the h*** couldn’t you have showed it to me earlier?!”

    Me: “Because you wouldn’t allow me to. You told me to go back to my Pokémon.”

    (At this point, the customer blushes greatly, but before he can say anything else my coworker intervenes.)

    Coworker: “Let’s just make a return on that game and ring you up the right one.”

    (The customer agrees, and is acting much calmer during the transaction. I’ve gotten quite used to prejudices at this store because of my gender, but at this point I was just happy his son could finally enjoy the right game!)

    No Vocation For Location, Part 6

    | Israel | Extra Stupid, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I am a South African, working at a hotel restaurant in Israel. The establishment has both servers and guests from all over the world. Generally people are interested in finding out where people are from and why they’re here. One day I am clearing a table for an American couple.)

    Me: “Shalom! I hope you enjoyed your meal. May I take your plates?”

    Husband: “Yes, please. It was great.”

    Wife: “Hey, you sound weird. Where are you from?”

    Me: “I’m from South Africa.”

    Wife: “Really?! South Africa… where is that?”

    Me: “Err…”

    Husband: *embarrassed* “Honey, it’s in Africa. If you look at a map, it’s right down at the bottom.”

    Wife: “Oh…” *blank look* “Oh! Kangaroos, right?”

    Husband: “Err…” *looks at me apologetically*

    Me: *just smiles* “I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay!”

    Related:
    No Vocation For Location, Part 5
    No Vocation For Location, Part 4

    The Code Has Three ‘X’s In It

    , | USA | Rude & Risque

    (I’ve been on the phone for a good ten minutes at this point with a woman in her late 80s who has a strong Southern accent. She has been extremely prim and proper for the entire call.)

    Me: “And do you have the offer code?”

    Caller: “Offer code? What’s that, dear?”

    Me: “It should be printed on the order form near where your name is located.”

    Caller: “One moment. Oh, I found it!”

    Me: *waits*

    Caller: *silence*

    Me: “Ma’am, may I have the code please?”

    Caller: “Oh, of course, sweetie. It’s F as in ‘f***.’ D as in ‘d***.’ A as in ‘a**.’”

    (The caller pauses before continuing, suddenly sounding very smug.)

    Caller: “All of which I enjoy a great deal when it comes to my men.”

    (I still have no idea how I managed to hold in my laughter until after I finished placing her order.)

    Push And Pull

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